it's hard enough {oli sykes} to live life as it is.

"Who first suggested the idea?" the man in the suit asked.

Oliver shifted in his seat. "It was mutual," he replied evasively.

"The idea didn't just come to both of you at the same time," the man said, stepping closer to him. He slid as far back in his seat as possible.

"Well-"

"Who first suggested it?"

Oliver blinked. "Brittany."

"Liar!" one of the people sitting in the room shouted.

He didn't reply.

"So she suggested this idea?" the man asked again.

"Yes," Oliver sighed.

"And you said what?"

"I told her it was ridiculous."

Some people scoffed. Some sighed.

He shifted nervously. Everyone could tell he was uncomfortable.

Everyone still believed it was his fault.

"How did you come about agreeing upon it?"

"Ah," he bit his lip. "She insisted."

"That was enough to convince you?"

"At-" he paused, blinking slowly. "At the time, yeah."

"What changed?"

"I- I got scared," he admitted.

"Would you mind telling us the details of what happened that night?"

"I don't- I can't."

"Why not?"

"I was drunk."

Everyone gasped. Like they were really shocked.

"I'm sure you can remember something. If not, we might call you responsible for this-"

"It isn't my fault!" Oliver shouted.

"Sir! Do not raise your voice."

He sighed.

"Is it Brittany's fault?"

"No. Well, yes, but-"

"Make up your mind."

"It isn't anyone's fault," he said slowly, not wanting to blame her.

"Did you love her?" the man asked.

"Yes," he replied without hesitation.

"And you let her do this."

"I was drunk," he said through gritted teeth.

"This is how I see it. Brittany loved you. She felt alone in the world, that you were the only person that cared, the only one that knew she existed. She thought you felt the same way. So she suggested that you both commit suicide so that you could be together with no one else to keep you apart."

He didn't reply.

"You agreed, and it was planned that the two of you would take identical doses of pills and alcohol. When the time came, you chickened out. You got drunk and watched her die."

"Shut up," he said. "I didn't want to die, just because she did. I didn't want her to do it either b-but I couldn't convince her."

"How can you live with yourself?" the man asked. "How can you live with yourself knowing that your girlfriend is dead while you survived?"

He waited to answer.

He took a deep breath.

"I can't," he said, walking right out of the small room.

They would come after him, but he didn't care.

He got home as fast as he could.

He stared at Brittany's picture in its frame on the dresser.

He grabbed the bottle from its place next to it.

"See you soon," he mumbled to the still face behind the cracked glass, before swallowing all of the pills in the container.
A shipwreck, left stranded, a castaway.
=\