Before we begin, I want to bring to everyone's attention that there is NO plot to this series. None. Zilch. These drabbles are mainly scenes or ideas (taken from everyday life), but none of them really interlock to create an actual plot. I am sorry to have confused some of you.
Warnings: semi-AU (Suigetsu retains his abilities), content, language, randomness, product of high sugar intake
Number of Words: 777 (heck yes!)
Name: Nomura, Abi (Last name, First name)
A Suigetsu Drabble Series
By: rocketmuffin
Twenty:: Solid or Liquid?
"I wonder sometimes, Abi," Karin pondered, "with Suigetsu's abilities and all...when he 'gasms, you think he melts into a puddle, or does he stays a solid?"
"KARIN?!?"
"Well, I'm just curious...I know that Sasuke stays a solid..."
You gagged. "Well of course he stays a solid...wait a minute, how did you find that out?!?"
Karin giggled darkly, pushing up her glasses while cackling so. "This little baby, I call her the Stalker Cam!" She held up a small camcorder.
Whatever thoughts you had about Karin being sane were tossed out of the window right then and there.
"Well, if you're so curious about it, why don't you ask him?" You pointed out, munching on a pepperoni pizza roll.
"No way, my infatuation lies with Sasuke, and Sasuke only," Karin replied, "and besides, I'm not the one who has that 'almost, sorta, weird' relationship with him."
You bit your lip and pouted. She did have a point.
"Okay, fine, I'll ask...but I'm going to blame you."
"Whatever. Whatever." Karin began to watch whatever was on her Stalker Cam.
You cautiously stuck your head into Suigetsu's room and looked for that silver-haired man. Instead you were greeted by the scent of flat beer and dirty laundry. You grimaced and entered the room, pushing the mountain of smelly clothes to the right using your foot. You nearly tripped over one of his video game consoles and also noticed some nudie magazines that were poorly hidden under the pillows on his bed/futon.
"Well, Abi, I never expected you to snoop in people's rooms."
You yelped and turned around, coming face to face with the owner of the room.
"I-I wasn't snooping, I thought you would be in here, but you weren't so, uhm, yeah."
"What exactly do you want, Abi, hrmm?" Suigetsu inquired, smirking with that smirk of his.
"Aaaaaah, well, erm, when you 'gasm, do you stay solid or turn into liquid?" You whispered this, turning salmon.
"...what?"
"I SAID: when you 'gasm, do you stay solid or turn liquid?" You repeated, however, you said the statement too quickly, and it ended up sounded like "I said you 'gasm in solids in liquids."
"Abi?"
"What?" You were bright red, and you were feeling very uncomfortable, being in Suigetsu's room while discussing a topic as sensitive as orgasms and such.
"What the hell did you just say?"
You let out a frustrated cry and massaged your forehead with your fingers.
"Okay. When you play with your, uh, woohoo, do you stay solid or turn liquid?" You squeaked as you said "woohoo".
"Woohoo?"
"Yes, 'woohoo'!"
"What?"
"You know, uhm...your...uh...PRRRCOCK!" You tried imitating a chicken to help get your point across, but you were failing miserably.
Suigetsu let out a loud guffaw, apparently amused by your antics.
"I'm not sure what you mean, Abi." Suigetsu drawled, his eyes twinkling. Internally, you had a faint inkling that he understood exactly where you were coming from. His feigned innocence was starting to irritate you, and you snapped.
"You idiot! You know goddamn well what I mean!!! Your woohoo, your pecker, the magic stick, Mr. Weenie Weenie Hot Dog, your Johnson, the schlong, the peepee place, the trouser snake...what other alternative names do need me to give?!?" You were irate and by all means mortified.
"Would you like to stay and find out? It's the only way you'll ever know?" Suigetsu purred walking ever so closer.
"NO. No thank you!!!" You protested, still horribly crimson (you were beginning to believe that your face was actually going to remain this color for the rest of the day).
"And I have other abilities, you know...that allow me to enlarge things."
You slowly put together what he meant and you shoved him lightly. Your eyes traveled downcast to his crotch and you looked straight back at him.
The silver haired man, fangs bared and all, smiled rakishly and wiggled his eyebrows. "Bingo."
"PERVERT!!!" You howled, exiting the room with powerful strides.
"Hey, you asked...and I delivered."
"I-I ONLY CAME HERE TO TELL YOU THAT YOUR ROOM SMELLS BAD THAT YOU NEED TO CLEAN IT!!!"
Suigetsu gyrated his hips in an inappropriate manner and made moaning noises.
"STOP THAT," you snapped furiously. "AND CLEAN THAT GODDAMN PIGSTY OF A ROOM!!!"
You scampered down the hallway, abashed and incredibly flustered.
Half-way, you about-faced and cantered back towards Suigetsu's room. You skidded to a stop at his doorway, and pointed accusingly at him.
"And don't you even dare think that I'm some sort of sexual deviant or anything, because I only did this because Karin asked me to!"
You then raced off, knowing that he would never let you live this down...ever.
HUUU HUUUU HUUUUUUU YEEAAAH!
XDDDD
*looks around* Kappy gave me the idea...
*runs away*
~rocketmuffin
P.S. I apologize for the perverted nature of this one-shot. Sorry to those who have been offended.
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Thank you for reading.
