So Shelly and Steph were having a sleepover. Then they thought, "We should listen to that song that goes, 'I'm too sexy for my shirt'!" because they were hyper.
So they searched YouTube and found it. The song is up there and they highly recommend it.
Steph then commented that Gerard was, in fact, rather sexy himself.
Shelly pointed out that all the bandmembers were very awesome, but Bob and Ray never got enough love.
"We should totally write a story about that!" Steph exclaimed, remembering the great success that was their oneshot, Gerard Way and the Great Tanning Adventure.
And so this story was born, this masterpiece, with its interactive ending.
They worked long and hard on it, and even danced around the house in triumph when it was done, then even meditated and said "Ohmmmm" when it was done.
That is how much they love it and how proud they are of it, so please, for Sexy's sake, just read it. Rating and messaging and Cboxing are cool too, by the way.
LONG LIVE THE SEXY.
Sincerely,
Shelly
and
Steph
Youknow
"I'm - too sexy for my shirt - too sexy for my shirt -!" Frank sang brokenly, sliding sideways off of Mikey's shoulders as he bawled the words.
"Oh, please, no," groaned Bob, burying his face in his hands.
"I'm sexier than you!" Frank crowed.
"Has he been drinking, smoking, or...?" Ray asked.
"He's just high off life," Gerard tossed in dryly.
"You're just jealous of The Sexy!" Frank informed Ray, flinging his body back onto Mikey's shoulders, ignoring the bassist's muffled protest.
"Why would we be jealous of 'The Sexy'?" Bob wondered, glancing at Ray. They raised their eyebrows.
"Well, everyone always says we're sexy," Frank said. "You guys never get any love."
Bob stiffened, but Ray tilted his head. " 'We're sexy'?" he repeated, frowning.
"Me an' Gerard. An' sometimes Mikey," Frank explained, slipping off again. He huffed impatiently at this and grabbed Mikey's head, using it to pull himself back up.
"My brains!" howled Mikey as his neck snapped.
"Oh, get over it."
Ray and Bob, however, had been deeply insulted by the insinuation that they were UnSexy.
"Wait a second," said Bob, scowling. "We're sexy!"
"Uh-huh," said Frank, unconvinced, as Mikey spun in circles, attempting to throw him off.
"Seriously, though, dude," Gerard said contemplatively, "there're all those 'Gerard have my babies' signs and Frank's face is like everywhere... But no one wants Bob's babies."
"Or Ray's," added Frank. "There are some MikeyFreaks, though."
"I'm sexy!" Ray said defensively, raking his fingers through his afro reflexively.
Frank cocked a skeptical eyebrow.
Bob slung an arm over Ray's shoulders. "Between me an' Ray, we're way sexier."
"Psh!" Gerard said before he could stop himself.
Everyone's eyes widened.
"Oh, so that's how this is gonna be?" said Ray.
"Maybe it is!" Frank said, beginning to get excited.
Mikey carefully kept quiet.
"You guys don't stand a chance," said Gerard derisively.
"Just wait and see!" Bob said.
"Wait and see what?" asked Frank. "What're we gonna do - just put up polls everywhere saying, 'Who's sexier - Gerard and Frank or Bob and Ray?"
"Hey, that's a good idea!" said Bob, Ray, and Gerard simultaneously.
Mikey had taken a vow of silence.
Frank blinked. "It... is?"
There was silence as this set in.
"Frank had a good idea?" said Bob slowly, awed.
"This is an amazing day," said Ray, dazed.
"How did you do it, man?" asked Gerard wonderingly.
Frank grinned proudly, squirming. Mikey gagged.
"So let's do it!" said Bob, pulling them back onto the SexyTrack.
"Put up signs everywhere saying, 'Sign here if you think Ray's sexy'?" Ray said dubiously.
"We can do it online," Frank piped up.
"Yeah... And we can set up poll booths at concerts... But we have to make sure no one votes twice," Gerard said.
"Unless it's for me," Frank ammended.
I'mtoosexy
"Come here and get your BobRayShirts now!" Bob called, waving a t-shirt in the air like a flag. It was black, with his face on the front and Ray's on the back. "Vote for BobAndRay! Vote now!"
"FRANK IS SEXY!"
"AND SO IS GERARD!"
"FREE FRANKPICS!"
"AND GEEPICS!"
"COME GET YOUR VOTEFORFRANK PINS!"
"THEY ALSO SAY VOTEFORGERARD!"
"IF YOU WANT MY FACE ON YOUR HEAD, COME BUY A HAT!"
"Frank, you're completely ignoring the fact that I'm on your team!" Gerard whined.
"Don't worry about it; I got it covered. I'm sexy enough for both of us."
As Gerard glowered at him, Mikey wandered over. His bandmates had swarmed him and shoved their various apparel on him. His left shoe bore Bob's face on the heel and Ray's on the toe. His right shoe said "Frank" and "Gerard" all over it. His pants had cut-outs of Frank and Gerard's heads all over them. He had a "vote for Bob and Ray" shirt on, and had a bandana around his neck that had labeled Frank and Gerard pictures. Then his hat said in big pink letters against a black background, "IF YOU'RE SEXY YOU'LL THINK BOB AND RAY ARE SEXY."
"How's it going?" he asked.
"Great!" said Frank enthusiastically. "Because, obviously, I'm sexy, and, well..." He flipped his hair. Which was interesting since his hair was unflippable. But it was an admirable effort.
Gerard scowled. "You do it like this," he said condescendingly, demonstrating.
"Leave it to the experts," said Frank, grabbing Gerard's wrist to prevent this.
"Then why should I leave it to you?"
"Because I am an expert; duh."
"Frank, you just killed it," Mikey observed mildly.
Frank responded immaturely.
"Lovely tongue," Mikey said. It was, in fact, purple, courtesy of LeSexyFrankPop (purple popsicles with his teamname on the wrappers - available on most street-corners).
"It's just as sexy as the rest of me," Frank said proudly.
"I'M SEXY TOO," Gerard whined. "Frank, we're on the same team!"
"Fine," Frank admitted grudgingly. "You can be sexy. Because Frank's SexyTeam can't fail. But start pulling your own weight. It's hard being the sexiest."
"FRANK!"
Ray wandered over, decked out, of course, in all B&Rwear. "Hey Mikey," he said.
"Sup duuuuude," said Mikey, dramatically gangsta.
"Uh, yeah. Look, me an' Bob were wondering - the team who wins... we should get an award."
"You're not gonna win!" Frank exclaimed instantly.
"Are too!"
"Are not!"
"Are too!"
"Are not!"
"Are too!"
"Are not not!"
"Are too too!"
"Heh heh... you said tutu."
"What? No I didn't."
"Yuh-huh. You said, 'Are tutu'."
"No, I said -"
"Sure, I'll give a prize to the winning team," said Mikey quickly, since he wasn't sure how much longer he could keep his sanity in tact if this conversation continued.
"Like what?" Gerard pounced on this eagerly.
"Something big!" said Ray.
"And chocolate!" Frank added.
They stared at him.
"Big and chocolate?" Mikey echoed blankly.
He nodded.
"Hey... I can get a shirt with your face on it?"
All four bandmembers whipped around to see a short brunette gazing at Gerard's shirt.
"Yeah!" said Frank quickly, groping for a G&Fwear Shirt.
"And make sure to vote for us too!" said Gerard as the brunette happily pulled out her wallet.
Ray was scowling.
Mikey was coughing to hide his laughter.
"You should vote for us," Ray told the girl as she took the shirt from Gerard with what he thought was unnecessary delight.
"Who?" She looked up.
"Us. Me and Bob. We're sexy."
She gazed at him.
Gerard said 'oooh!' immaturely, and Frank crowed, "Ouch, burrrrn!"
"That's cold, man," Mikey agreed.
"...What?" said the brunette.
"Me. Bob. Sexy. Yes?" Ray said slowly.
"Bob is here?" She spun around.
"Over there!" said Ray quickly, shooting a triumphant look at TeamGF. "We're selling shirts too. And you can vote for us over there." He pointed at the nearest voting booth.
"You guys are actually counting the number of people who think you're sexy?" said the girl dazedly.
"I know, it'll be hard to count that high," said Frank with a dramatic sigh, examining his nails.
The girl continued to stare at them, openmouthed.
"Where's the MikeyBooth?"
Again, everyone whirled around, this time to see another fangirl.
"I see the Gerard and Frank booth, and the Ray and Bob one, but what about Mikey?" asked the girl impatiently.
"Oh, I'm not part of the competition," said Mikey awkwardly.
She stared unnervingly at him. "You should be," she said.
It was unnatural for anyone to go so long without blinking.
"Uh... thank you..." said Mikey uncertainly.
"RAY GET BACK OVER HERE!" yelled Bob. "We're almost out of B&R hats!"
Ray let out a little triumphant cry.
"Well... we're almost out of pins!" said Frank, shoving them quickly off the table. "Look at that! All gone!"
"You're picking those up, you know," Gerard informed him, craning his neck to see them scattered across the floor.
"RAY! YOU. HATS. NOW."
"See you later, UnSexy gators," said Ray, trotting off to restock the SexyCaps.
I'mtoosexy
"Gimme that silver Sharpie, Frank."
"Why?"
"I need to write 'TeamGF' on the mic."
"Oh, sure." Frank lobbed it at Gerard.
"But no one's even going to see it," Mikey pointed out, propping up his feet on Bob's back and sipping his coffee.
"They will too. I'll hold it up and make all the cameras zoom in on it," Gerard said decisively as he carefully wrote out his message on the microphone. "I love modern technology."
"I love me."
"Wow, really? I had no idea... You were so subtle about it..."
"Oh, shut up. You're just jealous," said Frank, sticking out his tongue - this time stained by a green LeSexyFrankPop.
"Oh darn - you figured me out."
"Bob, what are you doing?" asked Ray suddenly.
"Nothing," said the drummer quickly, stepping in front of his drum and shooting Ray a pointed cut it out! look.
"Wait... are those... B&R shirts?!" Frank exclaimed, shoving Bob out of the way and prying apart the drum and gasping in shock at the stash of t-shirts. "You stuffed them in your drum?!"
"I was gonna throw 'em out into the crowd during the show," Bob mumbled.
"That's a good idea," said Frank ruefully, as he absently tugged out the shirts. "'Cept the drum woulda sounded weird if it was full of stuff..."
"We can do it anyway, though!" said Ray enthusiastically.
Gerard's eyes narrowed. "Frank," he said tersely, "go grab some t-shirts. And bandanas. And skinny jeans. And pins. We're goin' all out."
"What if we gouge out our potential voters' eyeballs?" Frank inquired.
"Then hopefully they can write their names with one eye. Hurry up!"
"Righto." The short man popped out of the room.
"Are you guys really doing this for some large chocolate trophy that you don't even know I'm really gonna get?" Mikey asked.
"Yep," Bob confirmed as he and Ray busied themselves with covering themselves with their own names and faces.
"I've created a monster," Mikey muttered.
"FRANK! HURRY IT UP ALREADY!"
"Four monsters," Mikey corrected himself.
A tech crept into the room and looked around furtively. Finding everyone but Mikey distracted, he whispered, "Five minutes."
"Okay. Five minutes, guys!"
"FRANK! MOVE IT MOVE IT MOVE IT!" screeched Gerard.
"Bob! Fix that pin!"
"Fix your own pin, Ray!"
"FRAAAANK!"
"I'M MOVING IT I'M MOVING IT!"
Mikey sighed and pulled out his guitar. "You guys do know we have an actual show to play, right?"
"Yes," said Gerard tensely, kicking Frank in the shins as he snatched the merchandise from him. "Hurry up and put this on, midget!"
"But I'm sexier with nothing -"
"Please don't finish that sentence," Mikey said mildly as Ray and Bob got into a small squabble over whether or not they had enough Brshirts.
"You're on!" whispered the tech.
Mikey swore violently and grabbed Gerard's elbow. "C'mon!"
As he dragged them out on stage, he was pretty sure he felt the prick of a pin being stuck on the back of his thigh.
I'mtoosexy
"How ya'll doin tonight?"
Cue the roar of the crowd.
"Great. That's real good," slurred Gerard.
Woo hoo. Cheer cheer scream yell.
"Now, before we start tonight," he said, after waving impatiently to make them quiet down. They were confused - Gerard never tried to calm the crowd; to the contrary. "Before we start, I think I need to make something clear to all of you."
More confused mutterings.
"I AM SEXY."
Whistles, cat-calls, and a great cheering from the female population.
"No, really!" he said, looking a trifle annoyed. "I am!"
Frank grabbed his own microphone and bellowed, "ME TOO! We're on the same team!"
Ray would not stand for this, however. He yanked his mic toward him and called, "VOTE FOR BOB AND RAAAAAAY!" Then he pumped his fist in the air.
The tsunami of noise was overwhelming, and Bob was climbing out from behind the drumset. Mikey had his face buried in his hands.
It was then that the shouting competition started. And then the chucking of the goods.
"PUT THE SHIRTS ON IF YOU GET ONE!" Frank screamed into the microphone as he hurled a wad of t-shirts at the crowd, who were going bananas.
Mikey edged toward the end of the stage.
Gerard gripped the microphone and attempted to out-shout Ray. "THERE ARE VOTING BOOTHS IN THE BACK OF THE... THINGY! GO VOTE FOR GERARD AND FRANK! NOW! NOW!"
A mass exodus then took place.
"Uh... Gerard?" said Mikey, slapping his forehead.
Gerard turned around, raising his eyebrows. "Hm?"
"What about the show?!"
Gerard blinked. "...Oh."
"Yeah. Oh."
Sosexy
Let us rejoin our friends in My Chemical Romance in a somewhat awkward position.
Gerard and Frank are currently about five feet above Bob and Ray's heads.
Bob and Ray are currently checking the internet polls.
Mikey is currently taking a few more Tylenols.
"Shhh!" hissed Gerard as Frank giggled his high-pitched giggle.
Frank obediently ducked his head and smothered his laughter.
"Now!" Gerard cried.
"HIIII-YA!" shrieked Frank as he and Gerard dropped like vampire bats onto the unsuspecting Bob and Ray.
"AAAAH!"
"EEEK!"
"OWWW!"
"OUCH!"
"EEP!"
"ACK!"
"FRANK!"
"GERARD!"
"MEEP!"
"GET OFF!"
"YOU GET OFF!"
"I'M NOT ON YOU!"
"GERARD, GET YOUR FOOT OUT OF MY NECK!"
"WHAT WERE YOU DOING?!"
"MY HEAD!"
"SHUT UP!" bellowed Mikey, reaching for the aspirin bottle again.
"Lemme seeeeeeee," whined Frank, dragging himself through the squirming bodies of his friends to sit in front of the computer.
He frowned. "What does that thingy mean? And what's that thingamabob? Are we winning? Is that my name? I'm sexy!"
Gerard kicked him. "Move!"
"No!"
Gerard got to his feet and wrapped his arms around Frank's waist. Then he calmly picked the guitarist up and placed him a few feet to the right. He sat down and peered at the screen.
"Dude..." he said.
"What?" asked Frank eagerly, leaning over.
"Dude... I can't tell either," said Gerard, squinting. "What does the thingamabob mean?"
Bob and Ray clambered to their feet to assist.
Ray drew in his breath sharply.
"What?" demanded Frank impatiently.
"The deadline is in two minutes," said Ray tightly.
"It is?" cried Frank.
"But wait," said Gerard, frowning. "Doesn't that mean that -"
A loud knocking interrupted him.
"-the media should be here?"
"Dude, that was sorta freaky," Frank commented.
Mikey wandered out of the bathroom (looking mildly drugged up) and opened the door.
Indeed, a mass of reporters were hovering outside the door, and as soon as it opened, barreled inside.
"Ow," Mikey commented to no one in particular as the rampaging camera-men stepped on him.
As soon as everyone was arranged inside, microphones were shoved in the bandmembers' faces.
One reporter-lady managed to override her companions. "Gerard, how do you feel? Do you think that you'll win this competition?"
"Well, I -" Gerard began.
"Frank, do you feel confident in your sexiness?"
Bob snorted.
"Bob Bryar, can you -"
"OMIGOSH!" Ray yelled, interrupting the barrage of questions.
Everyone turned to him in puzzlement as he crouched over the computer.
"There's only thirty seconds until the deadline - and it's still a tie!"
Whatyou
It's a tie!
But there's still a few seconds left!
Hurry up - yours is the last vote that will determine which SexyTeam wins!
C'mon - vote already!
Team Bob and Ray, of course! Underestimated Sexies all the way!
Gerard and Frank! Look, dude, they're just sexier
Gerard and Frank
Three dozen reporters, a hundred thousand teenagers, and four sexy men watched the screen with bated breath as the numbers slowly counted down.
00:30
00:29
00:28
00:27
00:26
"SOMEONE HURRY UP AND VOTE!" yelled Frank in distress.
00:25
00:24
00:23
00:22
00:21
"This is such a ripoff!" Bob complained angrily, swatting the computer.
Ray fidgeted nervously.
00:20
00:19
00:18
00:17
00:16
"What's gonna happen?" asked Frank anxiously, looking up at Gerard with wide eyes.
Gerard shook his head tensely. "I don't know, buddy," he said.
Frank sniffled and snuggled into his friend's side. Gerard wrapped an arm around his shoulders.
00:15
00:14
00:13
00:12
00:11
Bob sat down next to Ray and put an arm around his shoulders. Ray returned the half-hug, his eyes still glued to the computer screen.
"No matter what, we're still sexy," Bob muttered.
"We are," agreed the man with the afro.
00:10
"Ten!" chanted the reporters.
00:09
"Nine!" they continued.
00:08
"Eight!"
00:07
"Seven!"
00:06
"Six!"
00:05
"SHUT UP!" bellowed Frank.
00:04
Mikey climbed unsteadily to his feet, watching in apprehension.
00:03
Frank whimpered and buried his head in Gerard's side.
It couldn't end in a tie!
Bob grabbed Ray's hand compulsively.
00:02
Mikey braced himself for the explosion.
If it ended in a tie...
He put a hand over his stomach.
He rather liked his intestines in his body.
But he wasn't sure they'd stay there if it ended in a tie.
00:01
"OH MY GOSH!" yelled Ray.
"What?" cried a million people.
"SOMEONE VOTED!"
And as the clock hit 00:00, the count stood.
Frank and Gerard had won...
By one vote.
Frank and Gerard exploded into the air, cheering and yelling.
Bob and Ray slumped in their seats.
Frank began to shake his butt, then to disco.
Gerard was cheering loudly, jumping up and down and hugging random reporters.
Bob put his face in his hands.
"WE WON! UH-HUH! WE WON! WE WON! OH YEAH!" Frank was yelling, swinging his hips.
"GIVE ME SOME, FRANK!" cried Gerard gleefully, holding up his palm for the shorter man to slap.
"OH YEAH!" They exchanged a joyful highfive.
Frank took to bellowing, "WEEEEE ARE THE CHAAAAMPIOOOOONSS..." as the reporters swarmed them, asking How did it feel? and Did this change anything about the band? They also swarmed Bob and Ray, asking how they felt, and...
"Wait!" cried Gerard.
"What?" Everyone turned to him.
"Mikey - bring out our prize!"
"OH YEAH!" yelled Frank happily. "THE GIANT CHOCOLATE PRIZE!"
The cameras swung around hastily to get Mikey's face.
"Oh yeah," he said dazedly. "The big chocolate prize. Hang on. I'll go get it."
He slid out of the room.
Frank and Gerard, in the meantime, turned back to the cameras.
So, just in case the world hadn't gotten it the first time, Gerard squeaked joyously, "WE WON!"
Suddenly, Bob threw himself to his feet and he bellowed, "YOU DID NOT!"
Frank and Gerard paused in their celebration to stare at him. The reporters watched this new development with excitement.
"We did too! " Frank shouted.
"But we're sexier!" Bob insisted.
"Dude, stop it," muttered Ray, grabbing Bob's elbow and trying to pull him back down.
"No! We're ten nillion times as sexy as they are!" Bob yelled. "They always get the attention! Oh look it's Gerard! Have my babies, Frank! WELL THAT'S NOT FAIR!"
Gerard's jaw was dangling. Frank kind of blinked.
"Look at you!" Bob continued, enraged. "I mean, just look at you! Then LOOK AT ME!"
Frank's face slowly turned red.
Uh-oh.
Bob just dissed Frank's sexiness.
"Bob, dude, chill," said Ray, grabbing his elbow again.
"NO!" Bob shook him off. "I'm sick of it!"
"YOU JUST SAID I WASN'T SEXY!" screamed Frank.
Unnoticed, Mikey entered the room, bearing a chocolate treat that was as tall as Frank and shaped like an enormous turkey.
"WELL, YOU SAID THAT WE WERE UGLY!" bellowed Bob.
"But you are!" squealed Frank, stomping his foot again. "I mean, look at me!"
"Well, looking at you will be a different experience once I'm through with you!"
Mikey groaned and rolled his eyes.
Then he paused.
The chocolate looked very tempting.
With a roar like an enraged bull, Bob threw himself at Frank.
"BOB!" Ray cried.
"FRANK!" Gerard yelped.
Mikey shook his head in disgusted and snapped the turkey's beak off.
He took a contemplative bite.
It was very good.
Frank's hands were groping for Bob's throat.
"Frank! NO!" Gerard cried, distressed, and he wrapped his arms around the guitarist's waist.
Mikey swallowed the beak and ripped the tail off.
"BOB! STOP IT!" cried Ray, body-slamming the other man to keep him from attacking Frank. "Gerard! Hold him back!" he added as Frank managed to bite one of Gerard's arms enough to make the singer let go.
Mikey finished the tail and moved onto the left wing.
Frank broke free from Gerard's grasp and hurled his body at Bob. The taller bandmember went down with a bang and the room exploded with yells.
"Gerard! Not only are you not sexy, but you can't even hold Frank back?!" Ray screeched angrily as he threw himself at the fighting pair.
"Excuse me?" Gerard demanded furiously.
Mikey pulled the right wing off.
Ray yanked at Bob as the blond man was whacking Frank's hip. Bob was chewing on Frank's shoulder.
"Ray!" cried Gerard, unable to get past the lead guitarist's comment. "What did you say to me?!"
Mikey ripped the head off the chocolate turkey.
It was very good.
"I said you weren't sexy and you couldn't hold Frank back!" Ray repeated as he pushed at Bob with his feet, trying to kick him off Frank.
Gerard, however, took this moment to charge at Ray and tackle him.
Rolling his eyes dramatically, Mikey ripped the turkey's back off.
He sighed, rather depressed, as he saw that the trophy was hollow.
Four sexy men rolled across the floor of the bus, with cameras eagerly following their every move, and no one attempting to pry them apart.
Mikey sat in the back, downing chocolate happily and watching with great interest.
He rather imagined that he deserved this.
Suddenly, Frank piped up with his remaining teeth, "Hey... weren't we supposed to get a trophy?"
All activity stopped.
"Hey, yeah, weren't we?" asked Gerard while Ray paused, his arm still wrapped around Gerard's neck in a headlock.
"Where did Mikey go?" wondered Bob. "Does it take that long to bring out a giant chocolate trophy?"
All heads slowly turned toward the back of the bus.
Mikey nervously swallowed the toe he'd been chewing.
He waved timidly.
He was holding the last remaining part of the giant turkey - the foot. His face was smeared with chocolate.
"MI-KEY!" roared his bandmates.
Their feud was forgotten in an instant, and all launched themselves at the bassist.
"Meep!" he squeaked, and he scampered.
Frank hobbled back into the room. It had taken awhile to get used to the crutches and neck brace, but he was once again mobile.
Bob was sitting on the couch, using the arm that wasn't in a sling to change the television channel. His head was wrapped in bandages and his foot was propped up.
Ray was practically nothing but bandages, and he was lying across the back of the couch. He had been told to stay in his bunk, but where was the fun in that?
Frank carefully sat down, setting the crutches aside and handing Bob his requested drink.
At this moment, Gerard limped into the room, leaning heavily on his brother's arm. Mikey's face was pale - ever since he'd had his stomach pumped, he'd been a little off-color.
The brothers seated themselves too, and Gerard piped up, "Dude, What Not to Wear! Let's watch that!"
The five utterly sexy men fell silent as the show began, and they all cried out simultaneously in disgusted delight as they saw the object of the show.
"Look how hideous!" said Ray gleefully.
"Kind of like you," Gerard gibed teasingly.
"I'm sexier than you," Ray taunted jokingly.
"Gerard and I are way sexier than you'll ever be!" Frank said instantly, straightening.
"Are not!"
"Are too!"
"Are not!"
Mikey shook his head and left the room.
"ARE TOO!"
THE END
Thank you, thank you! We really hope you enjoyed, since we're... like... uberly proud of this.
You can hit "see all results" if you want to read the ending where Bob and Ray win, but it's rather similar, so you don't have to.
Although they're so sexy that you might want to.
Aaaaaanyway, thanks again for reading and voting Frank/Gerard!
If you want to message, feel free.
If you want to rate, feel free.
If you want to Cbox, feel free and leave a link, please.
LONG LIVE THE SEXY.
Shelly and Steph
Mikey's pretty cool
< !-- BEGIN CBOX - www.cbox.ws -->
< !-- END CBOX -->
Bob and Ray
Three dozen reporters, a hundred thousand teenagers, and four sexy men watched the screen with bated breath as the numbers slowly counted down.
00:30
00:29
00:28
00:27
00:26
"SOMEONE HURRY UP AND VOTE!" yelled Frank in distress.
00:25
00:24
00:23
00:22
00:21
"This is such a ripoff!" Bob complained angrily, swatting the computer.
Ray fidgeted nervously.
00:20
00:19
00:18
00:17
00:16
"What's gonna happen?" asked Frank anxiously, looking up at Gerard with wide eyes.
Gerard shook his head tensely. "I don't know, buddy," he said.
Frank sniffled and snuggled into his friend's side. Gerard wrapped an arm around his shoulders.
00:15
00:14
00:13
00:12
00:11
Bob sat down next to Ray and put an arm around his shoulders. Ray returned the half-hug, his eyes still glued to the computer screen.
"No matter what, we're still sexy," Bob muttered.
"We are," agreed the man with the afro.
00:10
"Ten!" chanted the reporters.
00:09
"Nine!" they continued.
00:08
"Eight!"
00:07
"Seven!"
00:06
"Six!"
00:05
"SHUT UP!" bellowed Frank.
00:04
Mikey climbed unsteadily to his feet, watching in apprehension.
00:03
Frank whimpered and buried his head in Gerard's side.
It couldn't end in a tie!
Bob grabbed Ray's hand compulsively.
00:02
Mikey braced himself for the explosion.
If it ended in a tie...
He put a hand over his stomach.
He rather liked his intestines in his body.
But he wasn't sure they'd stay there if it ended in a tie.
00:01
"OH MY GOSH!" yelled Ray.
"What?" cried a million people.
"SOMEONE VOTED!"
And as the clock hit 00:00, the count stood.
Ray and Bob had won...
By one vote.
Bob and Ray exploded into the air, cheering and yelling.
Frank and Gerard's jaws were dangling, and they sat, still leaning against each other, paralyzed with shock.
Bob and Ray slapped triumphant high-fives, while half-the-world-plus-one-person yelled happily and threw confetti.
Frank and Gerard weren't blinking.
Bob and Ray gleefully answered questions. Ray was raking his hand compulsively through his afro and Bob was positively dancing - something he never did in front of cameras.
Gerard and Frank stared blankly at reporters who asked them how they felt now that they'd lost.
"WE WON!" cheered Ray. He faced a camera and yelled it again: "WE WON!"
Somewhere in Missouri, a Frank-fan threw a shoe at the tv.
Half-the-world-plus-one shouted back, "YOU DID!" with equal delight.
"Wait!" cried Bob.
"What?" Everyone turned to him.
"Mikey - bring out our prize!"
"OH YEAH!" yelled Ray happily. "THE GIANT CHOCOLATE PRIZE!"
The cameras swung around hastily to get Mikey's face.
"Oh yeah," he said dazedly. "The big chocolate prize. Hang on. I'll go get it."
He slid out of the room.
Ray and Bob, in the meantime, turned back to the cameras.
So, just in case the world-plus-one hadn't gotten it the first time, Ray squeaked joyously, "WE WON!"
Suddenly, Frank threw himself to his feet,
Ray and Bob paused in their celebration to stare at him. The reporters watched this new development with excitement.
"Uh... yeah, dude, we did," Bob pointed out.
"No you didn't!" Frank stomped his foot like an impatient child.
"Dude, stop it," muttered Gerard, grabbing Frank's elbow and trying to pull him back down.
"No! We're ten nillion times as sexy as they are!" Frank cried.
"You are not!" replied Ray hotly.
"Are too! Look at you! I mean, just look at you! Then LOOK AT ME!"
Bob's face slowly turned red.
"Bob, dude, chill," said Ray, grabbing his elbow.
"NO!" Bob shook him off. "DID YOU HEAR THE MIDGET?!"
"Uh, yeah, but -"
Unnoticed, Mikey entered the room, bearing a chocolate treat that was as tall as Frank and shaped like an enormous turkey.
"HE SAID WE'RE UGLY!" bellowed Bob, unable to get past this fact.
"But you are!" squealed Frank, stomping his foot again. "I mean, look at me!"
"Well, looking at you will be a different experience once I'm through with you!"
Mikey groaned and rolled his eyes.
Then he paused.
The chocolate looked very tempting.
With a roar like an enraged bull, Bob threw himself at Frank.
"BOB!" Ray cried.
"FRANK!" Gerard yelped.
Mikey shook his head in disgusted and snapped the turkey's beak off.
He took a contemplative bite.
It was very good.
Bob lunged at Frank, his hands reaching for the shorter guitarist's throat.
"BOB! NO!" Ray cried, distressed, and he wrapped his arms around the drummer's waist.
Mikey swallowed the beak and ripped the tail off.
"FRANK! STOP IT!" cried Gerard, body-slamming the other man to keep him from attacking Bob or Ray. "Ray! Hold him back!" he added as Bob managed to bite one of Ray's arms enough to make the guitarist let go.
Mikey finished the tail and moved onto the left wing.
Bob broke free from Ray's grasp and hurled his body at Frank. The shorter bandmember went down with a bang and the room exploded with yells.
"Ray! Not only are you not sexy, but you can't even hold Bob back?!" Gerard screeched angrily as he threw himself at the fighting pair.
"Excuse me?" Ray demanded furiously.
Mikey pulled the right wing off.
Gerard yanked at Bob as the blond man was whacking Frank's hip. Frank was chewing on Bob's shoulder.
"Gerard!" cried Ray, unable to get past the singer's comment. "What did you say to me?!"
Mikey ripped the head off the chocolate turkey.
It was very good.
"I said you weren't sexy and you couldn't hold Bob back!" Gerard repeated as he pushed at Bob with his feet, trying to kick him off Frank.
Ray, however, took this moment to charge at Gerard and tackle him.
Rolling his eyes dramatically, Mikey ripped the turkey's back off.
He sighed, rather depressed, as he saw that the trophy was hollow.
Four sexy men rolled across the floor of the bus, with cameras eagerly following their every move, and no one attempting to pry them apart.
Mikey sat in the back, downing chocolate happily and watching with great interest.
He rather imagined that he deserved this.
Suddenly, Frank piped up with his remaining teeth, "Weren't you guys supposed to be getting a trophy?"
All activity stopped.
"Hey, yeah, weren't we?" asked Ray while Gerard paused, his arm still wrapped around Ray's neck in a headlock.
"Where did Mikey go?" wondered Bob. "Does it take that long to bring out our giant chocolate trophy?"
All heads slowly turned toward the back of the bus.
Mikey nervously swallowed the toe he'd been chewing.
He waved timidly.
He was holding the last remaining part of the giant turkey - the foot. His face was smeared with chocolate.
"MI-KEY!" roared his bandmates.
Their feud was forgotten in an instant, and all launched themselves at the bassist.
"Meep!" he squeaked, and he scampered.
Frank hobbled back into the room. It had taken awhile to get used to the crutches and neck brace, but he was once again mobile.
Bob was sitting on the couch, using the arm that wasn't in a sling to change the television channel. His head was wrapped in bandages and his foot was propped up.
Ray was practically nothing but bandages, and he was lying across the back of the couch. He had been told to stay in his bunk, but where was the fun in that?
Frank carefully sat down, setting the crutches aside and handing Bob his requested drink.
At this moment, Gerard limped into the room, leaning heavily on his brother's arm. Mikey's face was pale - ever since he'd had his stomach pumped, he'd been a little off-color.
The brothers seated themselves too, and Gerard piped up, "Dude, What Not to Wear! Let's watch that!"
The five utterly sexy men fell silent as the show began, and they all cried out simultaneously in disgusted delight as they saw the object of the show.
"Look how hideous!" said Ray gleefully.
"Kind of like you," Gerard gibed teasingly.
"I'm sexier than you," Ray taunted jokingly.
"Gerard and I are way sexier than you'll ever be!" Frank said instantly, straightening.
"Are not!"
"Are too!"
"Are not!"
Mikey shook his head and left the room.
"Are too!"
THE END
Thank you, thank you! We really hope you enjoyed, since we're... like... uberly proud of this.
You can hit "see all results" if you want to read the ending where Gerard and Frank win, but it's rather similar, so you don't have to.
Although they're so sexy that you might want to.
Aaaaaanyway, thanks again for reading and voting Bob/Ray!
If you want to message, feel free.
If you want to rate, feel free.
If you want to Cbox, feel free and leave a link, please.
LONG LIVE THE SEXY.
Shelly and Steph
Mikey's pretty cool
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