Dear Diary,
I think I have made a huge mistake. I take that back, I know that I have made a terrible mistake. Or should I say mistakes. The biggest ones of my entire life.
This is not what I wanted, this is not what I thought it would be. I was wrong about everything I thought I knew. Wrong about the last seventeen years of my life, wrong about them, my friends, my parents, my sister.
My life, it's not what it was yesterday.
It's funny how within twenty four hours, your life, and everything you thought you knew could all turn out to be a lie. I can't be too descriptive about it. I'm too ashamed, too embarrassed, and I have too many feelings of ignominy.
There is no way to fix this. I really don't think there is. After what I have done, what I have become, nothing I can think to do will even begin to make all my mistakes right. I think I will be forced to live the rest of my life with shame.
Zoe, my love, she always told me to trust a bit more, reach out a bit more, and now, I wish so much that I had listened to her. Maybe if I had taken her advice I wouldn't be in this situation, this awful prediciment, and I wouldn't be writing this.
But the sad truth is that I didn't listen,I am writing this, and everyone I love is gone. This could possibly be the last thing I ever write. All I know right now is that my life has fallen out of balance. My life is now balancing on the edge of the needle, and it can't balance for much longer. I will either have to figure out how to fix this, or my life will fall off the side of the needle and my life, and everyone elses, will never be the same again.
And that's all she wrote.
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