I walked down the bleach white hallway; the smell of disinfectant stinging my nostrils and making want to gag. Maybe this isnt such a good idea, I thought to myself as I turned the corner and walked into a gift shop. I grabbed the biggest teddy bear I could find and a bouquet of flowers before slapping a fifty dollar bill on the counter and walking out again. I looked up and down the hall way, looking for the recovery room. A nurse tapped my shoulder and I jumped.
"Sorry, sir. Can I help you?" she asked.
"It's fine. Can you direct me to the recovery room?" I asked.
"Patients name?" she asked.
"Umm Erin. Erin McCracken?" I choked out, crossing my fingers for good luck.
"I'm sorry, sir-" she started, reaching out to touch my arm. I gasped and dropped the things I was holding. I bit my tongue and squeezed my eyes shut. No, it's not true I kept telling myself.
"Sir?" the nurses voice was far away. Too far. That's when I realized I was running. I skidded around a corner and there was a sign pointing to the cafeteria and the recovery room. I darted left and burst through the doors. The doctors looked up at me as a I rushed to the body laying on the gurney. I couldn't tell if the beating I heard was coming from my heart or the machine next to her. I sighed. It was still beating, however far apart and jumps were. They got fainter and then the line went straight for a while.
"Erin?" I asked hoarsely, shaking her body gently.
"Erin wake up." I cried, tears coming down my face freely.
"Erin? Erin! Come on, love, wake up." I said shaking her a little more violently. The doctor grabbed my upper arms, pulling me back.
"Erin!" I sobbed, fighting back with everything I had.
"NO!" I screamed jolting up. I looked around, I was still in the hospital room, draped across the chair I had pulled next to Erin's bed. My hand was still in hers. I fell back against the head rest, relieved it was just a dream. Erin stirred in her sleep. I bent and kissed her forehead.
"Bert?" she whispered. I smiled.
"Yeah, love?"
"I love you." She said, closing her eyes.
"I love you, too."
"Cross your heart and hope to die?" she asked.
"Cross my heart and hope to die." I smiled. A few hours later I was still next to her, holding our new born baby girl in my arms.
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