Losing Sleep (Chapter One) Wanting Death

She watched intently as, if upon their own will, her fingers curled around the bitter steel beams. It was rather wide, a bit bigger than a jam jar. Her finger tips barely touched one another. She pulled herself upward, her naked feet finding the top of the metal wall.
Her skin seemed to adhere to the cold steel; her fingers frozen in their forewarning death grip. It was as if they already knew she longed to let go... As if they were already aware of what would happen and had attempted to delay the action. Her pale white points shone through the stretched skin, locked and binding.
The early winter wind took up and she felt her hair lifting from her face. She considered letting go then. It would have been rather picturesque, she figured. A descending body, hovering momentarily on the unruly wind... Falling towards the black Avon waters.
Behind her, she knew, the lights of Stratford-on-Avon twinkled whimsically. Spread by the wind, laughter reached her ears. She wondered whose small voices were being illuminated by those giggles. She wondered...

She stopped herself, shaking the thoughts from her mind. The sudden movement broke her stance, her fingers tightening around the beam. They slipped a little and she found that, now confronted with a death she had been longing for, her heart rate increased. She wished it hadn't. A disappointed sort of guilt swept over her, her mind was pulsing with second guesses.


Convincing herself, as she had done for months now, her fingers finally loosened. She pried them from the beam, feeling the wrenching sting of frozen skin. Holding her hands firmly at her sides, she took a few deep breaths. She closed her eyes. And, preparing herself...

"Miss?" Her eyes flew open, breath shooting from her lungs. She felt rather annoyed and was very blunt about her reply.
"Excuse me sir," She quickly checked the person over her shoulder. He was a tall guy, not nearly a man. His round glasses shown in the warm lights of Stratford-on-Avon. "But I have plans to die tonight. You are kind of distracting me so... If you would please," She gestured with her arm towards the town, willing him back to where he had come calling from.
He opened his mouth to say something, sticking his hands deep into his pockets. She stopped him however, turning on the wall to face him. "I bet you are going to say its not right," His mouth closed, eyes studying her dominating stance. She rose high above him, conquering his figure, "But, I don't care anymore."
Once more she turned to the black waters, hoping he would leave as her toes curled round the edge.

"Miss? Do you have the slightest clue of exactly what you just said to me? Of exactly who you're talking to?"
"I don't care!" She did not even bother to turn this time, imagining his mildly concerned face in the restless river waters. She longed to get washed away by them... "Sir, you don't even know me."
There was a lull in the conversation; she thought, hopefully, that she had managed to convince him. Closing her eyes, her ears yearned for the sure footsteps that would signal the young man's departure.
"I know," She heard him reply. The words echoed around her, wrapped in the pleasant sips of the lapping water. His voice was softer when he spoke next, "But... I would like to change that soon... Hopefully."
"Soon?" She scoffed, finally succumbing and turning. "Soon?! Don't you understand?" She yelped, looking into his striking eyes in a condescending fashion.
A simper crossed his face, a warm blush draping across his cheek bones.
"There is no soon," She explained, unable to help herself. "I have plans... Ones which don't involve a tomorrow."
He was taking her in, watching everything as if she was speaking and moving in slow motion. Her hair fell into her face, but she refused to mess with it. She held her steady gaze, serious and annoyed.
"Can't you..." She struggled, her voice somewhat pleading. "What don't you understand?"

"This," He motioned forward, his hands falling limply at his sides afterwards. "Death! After everything that has happened... People still long for it."
He seemed rather wise and she stopped, for a moment, to consider his intentions. "I'm sorry, but you don't understand. Things have happened, I can't do this anymore." She said softly. She had neither the patience nor the want to inform him of the situation. He was a stranger and no matter what he intended, she owed him nothing.
"No one seemed to be able to do it anymore," He sighed, tilting his head upward. The glaring light faded from his circular lenses and solid jade eyes met her's. "Everyone seemed to be jumping nowadays. And, I know your legs are pleading to leap... But the trick is that you are never supposed to act on it. No matter how unbearable life gets."

Her breath caught in her throat, his words cutting her deep. The millions of harsh reasons that cluttered her mind, the thousands of arrows pointing to this singular answer, all vanished.
"You make it sound so easy," She said softly, her voice shaking as another breeze swept through. She could feel a chill wrap itself around her. "And it's not."
"Nothing is anymore." He responded simply, holding his hand out to her. "But that doesn't mean you should do this... Come down."
"I don't want to come down," Her voice shook, her hands cradled in one another.
"Come down," He repeated, softly lacking aggression. "You don't have to go back to your home... Just come down... Live with me."
"Are you crazy?" She exhaled, her voice spiking upward. She shook her head no and, as the man leaned forward to grab her hand, she took a shocked step backwards. Her heel met air and, feeling herself being pulled backwards by gravity, her arms shot outward.
Vocal chords ripping with a fresh scream, her wrist collided with the beam. She was barely aware of the man's hands wrapping around her throbbing wrist as her other arm shot around the beam. Her eyes flashed black, dots hazing her vision, as she glared down at the deep Avon waters.
The next sensation was the feeling of hard concrete against her bare feet.

Maureen exhaled, trying to breathe as she hung in the strange man's arms.
And Harry held the poor girl tightly against his own heaving chest.
continue.


Dear Readers,
Welcome to the first chapter of my new series! I'm really excited about this series and I hope all of you are as well.
Loads of love and thanks to Sissy for the amazing banner for this chapter. She is such a brilliant banner maker. Simply amazing (:

Thank you all for reading and please leave a little something in the cbox (: I really want to know how you all feel about this new series! ♥


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