There are four Universal Truths in the world. They are as follows.
1. At one point of the Earth's existence, Dinosaur's lived, until they mysteriously became extinct. And I still believe that whole "poison gas" theory for their extinction.
2. Anything can be fixed by ductape.
3. If the world was ever destroyed by nuclear winter, a biblical 2nd coming of Jesus, global warming, etc, etc, Cockroaches will survive.
4. And I, Elle Olivia Mason, will be a virgin for all eternity.
It's not as if I planned this, either. No! I have simply had a bad and akward chain of events happen to me, which all have prevented me from 'doing the deed'. Like one time, I was about to do it with this guy who was this really, really, really, really cute guy, when I simply realized I didn't know his name, and when I asked his name, he didn't appreciate it very much. Akward, yeah? Then there was that other time I was about to finally do it with this other really, really, really, really, REALLY cute guy (and this time, I did happen to know his name) when I accidentally tripped over him, fell onto the sidetable, and sort of broke my nose resulting in being rushed to the emergency room. And then I remember this othe-
Well, you get the point.
And I am a perfectly healthy, adequetly attractive 19 year old girl who lives in the huge city of New York City, population about 11 million. And I mean half of them have to be guys. Now, discounting the married ones, the gay ones, the old ones and the ugly ones, I should be able to find some guy to finally do it with, wouldn't you think? Well, obviously not.
But that doesn't mean I don't try as hard as humanley possible to find the right person to really get to know, to love and cherish and to finally rip the clothes off of. So tonight, like just like most Friday nights, I was off to a club/bar with my bff and partner in crime, Shaant Hacikyan (who was actually going there to play with his 'band' and I was going to scope out the guys).
And might I add, my gorgeous bff and delicious partner in crime. Shaant was undoubtedly one of the sexiest men I knew, but it wasn't like I could just hit on him or anything. We had known each other for way too long. He basically thought of me as his little sister. And I mean you know, whatever that I've been pining for him 12 out of the 19 years of my life and he hasn't noticed it. Yeah, whatever.
"Ellie, you alright? You look so frickin pissed right now!" came Shaant's voice as we sat on the subway, going to Bread and Butter, the place of his gig.
"Oh uh, yeah, I'm fine." I replied like a space cadet, and looked over at Shaant's amazingly beautiful face. He beamed back to me.
"I wrote a new song, we're playing it tonight." He told me, leaning over towards me, as if it was a secret.
"Yeah? Is it another sex song? Because you know, you're so experienced and all?" I said cynically, throwing him a suspicious look. Shaant laughed full on, making the man across from us who was listening to ipod look up and glare at us. I giggled a little.
"Well, I'm not going to lie. It does have a little to do with sex. But I'd hardly call it a sex song." Shaant said, making what I call, his "fish face". He sucked his cheeks full in, making his lips suck in also, which made him look like...well...a fish. This was my cue to pull on his ears and shake his head from left to right. It was a tradition between us, and was almost like our secret handshake. I had by now forgotten why we did this, but it never failed to make me smile, which is why I was a little surprised that he did it now. I wasn't upset or anything. Maybe he was doing it because I had looked pissed as he had said. Well it was his own fault then I was pissed. He was gorgeous and sexy and amazing and I was just his friend.
I have to get over this lame obsession.
I have to do it with some guy so I can't finally be experienced like Shaant.
You see?! There is a method to my madness. I know that there are a lot of 19 year olds that are virgins, and to them I say a loud "Right On", but not to me. See, here's my train of thought, which I organized into a nice list awhile back.
1. I finally meet a really cute guy with Shaant around - Shaant is jealous.
2. I get cozy with said cute guy and Shaant becomes protective of me.
3. I leave with cute guy and Shaant storms off, alone, to his apartment (convientley located next to mine) while I cozy about with my guy.
4. I finally, finally, FINALLY, do the deed with cute guy.
5. Shaant, through his jealousy, realizes that now I am an experienced woman and that he wants to make passionate love to me 24/7.
6. ...We get married and live happily ever after.
Shaant will only realizes he's obsessed with me after I finally do it with someone. Until I am a "woman", I will never be interesting in his eyes. Until I have lost my virginity, I will always just be his "best friend".
The night was cold as Shaant and I ran quickly to Bread and Butter. I noticed all the other guys from his band were already there, setting up. Shaant looked quickly into my eyes, an action that seriously sent some shivers up my spine.
"You cool if I go help?" he asked. I put on my best smile.
"Yeah, I'll be around." I replied as I watched him walk off to the rest of the boys. As he walked, he was suddenly stopped by a pretty brunette in a strappy sort of number. I scowled as he smiled a sexy smile and said his hello. I was out of earshot to hear anything more and turned to the bar.
"I'll just have a water." I said to the bartender angrily. I'm sure I could have probably gotten away with getting a gin and tonic, but tonight I didn't really feel like being fuzzy. Even in my anger, I felt like having a clear head. Especially if I was going to get it over with tonight. And something told me that I was going to get lucky tonight.
And on that note, I was suddenly surprised to hear a husky voice say hello in back of me. I turned around to see a young man, about 20 or so with dark brown hair and a beard. Okay, he was pretty cute, not Shaant sexy, but not too bad. Besides he was talking to me, so that had to be a good sign.
"Hi" I replied perkily and he sat down at the seat next to mine. The bartender gave me my water and I took a large gulp.
"Mmm...rum and coke for me, please." said the young man and the bartender hastily went away.
"You come here often?" he asked. I shook my head no.
"My friend, Shaant Hacikyan, sings in the band thats playing tonight. He asked me to come watch him." I explained. The young man looked surprised.
"Isn't that something a boyfriend would ask his girlfriend to do?" he questioned. I shrugged.
"We're tight." I said simply. The young man glanced to Shaant, who I was surprised to see was looking over at us with a strange expression on his face.
"He looks kind of intimidating." said the young man. I laughed. The bartender came with his rum and coke. The young man put out his hand.
"I'm Casey." he said, smiling.
"I'm Elle." I replied, going to shake his hand, but instead, my arm knocked his drink over, spilling it all over his lap.
"Oh. Shit. I am so, so, so, so sorry." I said, getting some napkins. Casey looked angry.
"It's fine. Nevermind. It's not like this was a 400 dollar pair of pants or anything. Here. I'll pay for the drink. Just. Don't touch anything." he said and threw down a few bills. I watched him with wide eyes as he turned back to me.
"Sorry for being rude but. Have fun with your boyfriend." Casey said and left the bar. I noticed that it was really silent around me. Everyone was staring. I don't think there was a word to describe my embarassment. Luckily Shaant came on the microphone.
"Well, that was an interesting display. Now, um, we're Cute Is What We Aim For. Please enjoy."
Oh dear God, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for Shaant. He is a godsend and a miracle. Thank you so much.
Everyone turned their attention from me to Shaant and he started the first few lines to one of his many songs. I smiled to him and he winked back. After, I would thank him for what he had done.
Shaant sang some of the "old favorites" as we called them, and some newer stuff I had heard before, but not many times. I could tell that the people in the place really liked him. They were all the kind of people that would enjoy that kind of music. But I still I think I was definitley his biggest fan, and I really think he appreciated that.
"Okay well, we have one more song for you tonight. It's um a new one. It's called Risque. I would also like to say that I wrote it for a girl named Elle Mason. Ellie, I hope you like it."
Shaant then started singing in a way that really captivated my attention. After all, he had written it for me...about me.
"I've got birds in my ears and a devil on my shoulder
and a phone to the other and I can't get ahold of her
and whats a crush to do,
whats a crush to do when he can't get through?
Medically speaking you're adorable" ...At this line he looked up to me with a gaze so intense it nearly knocked me off my feet. It finally kicked in that he was singing an almost love song. This was a huge stunner because Shaant had always said that he couldn't and wouldn't write a love song to anybody. And here he was singing one to me, Elle Mason! Me, who he called Ellie, thought was his little sister and made fish face to! My heart squeezed and flexed like nothing I had ever felt before. I hardly knew I could feel that way! Shaant kept singing, but never took his eyes off me. I was shocked, flattered, happy, surprised and a little angry that he hadn't told me before.
The song ended in a blur and the bar erupted in applause. I stood stunned, staring at Shaant who stood at the microphone staring back at me. Finally, someone from the band (I couldn't tell who it was, I was too absorbed in Shaant), patted him on the shoulder.
The rest of the night went by in a blur. Shaant and I were offered a ride home by someone that I didn't know. We never got to talk alone, or even be alone for one second. No one else besides us considered the fact that maybe we had to talk about how we were both madly in love with each other (well, okay, so I was madly in love with him, maybe he just liked me). Of course not.
But eventually we were deposited on the path in front of our apartment building. I stood staring at him for so long, my hands grew numb.
"We should um...go inside. It's cold." Shaant finally said. I think I said something on the lines of, "Oh yeah, duh." but it was so much of a blur. Thank God I only had water or I'd really be blurry!
I followed Shaant up to his apartment and never even noticed when I went inside with him instead of next door to mine.
And thats when it hit me.
I was still a virgin. And Shaant didn't care! He didn't care that I was inexperienced! He didn't have to be jealous to realize that he was crazy about me! He liked me for me, not for the sexy dress I had been wearing and not because my hair was down and looked sultry. He didn't like me because I was drunk, or anything. Shaant simply liked me. And I suddenly found that maybe, maybe he had liked me the entire time I had liked him.
"Ellie I..." Shaant started. And then I realized that this wasn't akward or strange or anything like that. I knew exactly what was going to happen next and I knew exactly what to do.
"Don't say it, you don't have to." I said, without a trace of sexy in my voice. It was all me, just me. Just Elle. I smiled widely, not being able to contain my happiness at his return of my feelings.
Shaant broke out into a grin and picked me up swiftly and held me close. He carried me into his bedroom and shut the door behind him. He paused for a moment, but only to look at me softly and kiss me lightly on the lips.
"Are you ready?" he asked. I nodded vigorously. Shaant set me down and I no longer felt like the akward girl who had recentley spilled a rum and coke all over a young man's 400 dollar pants (Which I couldn't help but think was a little extravagent. I mean seriously, who needs 400 dollar pants? When is it practical to wear them? Someone could spill um...you know...maybe...RUM AND COKE on them, what an idea! ...But I digress.).
But just to be on the safe side, I made sure I was very careful where I stepped and made sure I didn't trip over him, or knock into him, or hit him, or anything.
And you know what?
The 4 Universal Truths of the world actually went down to 3.
results.
Hope You Liked. <3
