Friday
9:02 AM
home
I wake up to a bright glare from my window, the snow illuminating everything. I smile to myself, wondering how my sisters haven't woken me up yet. But suddenly, I feel cold. Something is missing.
I look to the vacant side of my bed, which should be occupied, as I recall. Or did I dream the whole thing...? No, or else I wouldn't still remember what he smells like...
I think frantically. The covers in the place where he slept are pulled back, probably very carefully as to not wake me up. But on the pillow where his head rested, I find a short note, written in hasty handwriting.
Merry Christmas, baby.
I don't want to make your Christmas any more awkward, so I left for William's. I stole one of your jackets, I hope that's okay.
♥ Ryan
My throat tightens, and I don't know why. My whole world was beginning to fall apart - I could see it happening. Losing Darcy has to mean my world is falling apart. But last night, Ryan somehow seemed to make it okay.
I look up from the note, and my eyes wander around my room, wide and a little scared. Among the blue walls hangs all my awards and plaques and on my dresser sits my trophies. Then in a box in the corner, the one that hasn't moved since the day we moved in, sits everything that I dreamed about last night. A couple pieces of Ryan's clothes, Ryan's notes he used to pass to me during class, Ryan's warmth, Ryan's kisses. I shoved it all in a corner.
I glance at the mirror hanging on my wall. My eyes are glistening. Suddenly, I feel fourteen years old again. I know what this feeling is. It's the feeling I used to get every time Ryan left.
I shake out of my trance, hearing footsteps running down the hall. I quickly fold up the note and toss it back on my bed as Angela races into my room, and she says, "Brendon! Come open your presents!"
I look at her, but all I can think about is Ryan. "You know what? I left your present in my car. Go back downstairs, I'll be there in a bit."
She nods as she grins and she dashes back out of the open doorway. I quickly throw on some clothes and furtively dash out to my car, turning on the ignition and racking my brain to remember where William Beckett lives.
But when I'm there, I know it, because William's house is so hidden that it stands out. Three enormous trees conceal the house's very existence, and I'm sure William likes it that way.
I trudge through the freshly-fallen snow to reach William's front door. I feel bad for barging in on Christmas day, but I need to see Ryan. It's now or never.
I knock on the door, and it takes a long while before I hear any answer. But when the door does creep open, I feel terrible. William is half-naked, assuming only a pair of pajama pants, his bare chest exposed to the cold air, and his hair is shaped into an obvious suggestive way. He barely looks at me. It's like he expected me to be here.
"Ryan's sleeping," he says like a robot.
Another one of those million of minute details that I forgot about Ryan: the boy sleeps a lot.
"I'm really sorry to disturb you, William... I just really need to talk to Ryan."
I thought it might shock him more than it seems to have. But Ryan probably fell into his arms the moment he arrived and told William the whole story.
William bites his lip and looks over his shoulder, then back at me. "I don't think that's a good idea."
"Why not?" I say bitterly. "Is he mad at me? Did he say why?"
William's face turns incredulously angry. "Since when do you give a fuck about him?"
I feel a little shocked, scared and sad. "People make mistakes, William. Even you."
"Yeah, but I didn't leave a boy broken-hearted for two years, did I?"
I open my mouth to bite back again but I don't need to have pitiful arguments with William. "Fine. Just tell Ryan we need to talk."
"I won't put it in those words, but fine."
"Fine."
He slams the door. William Beckett isn't even close to perfect.
click ->
Merry Christmas, kids :)
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