Little Wonders (Waycest)

Since I was born, I had always been a light sleeper. The slightest rustling of the fabrics of blankets, or the softest tapping of a branch against my window stirred me from my sleep. This often frustrated me, because I found it difficult, almost impossible, to fall back asleep. After lying in my bed restlessly for half an hour or so, I would leave my room, and go into my brother's. Gerard on the other hand, was one hell of a heavy sleeper; nothing could wake him. I would lift the blankets, and climb into his bed. As if action upon instinct, Gerard would pull me close to him, sometimes mumbling something incoherent as he did so, then fall still.
But for the past few days, we were both being kept up at night. For me, it was the sound of my brother making vain attempts to stifle his sobs. For Gerard, it was struggling to keep the tears in as he desperately tried to find closure. I would close my eyes to keep my own tears in, but in the end, a few managed to fall.
I would wonder why of all times, I wasn't going into my brother's room. I could comfort him, hold him, talk to him, kiss him-
No, I couldn't do the last part. Not anymore at least. We were related by blood, but we never thought it was strange for brothers to hold hands, and kiss each other. Kisses to the forehead, cheeks, or lips were shared on a daily basis, and reaching out to hold the other's hand had become the norm. We saw nothing wrong with brothers sleeping in the same bed, or cuddling on the couch when watching a horror movie.
It wasn't until a month ago that our mother caught Gerard giving me a friendly kiss on the lips in greeting. The woman went hysterical, and began to hit us as tears ran down her face. She said we were condemned to Hell, that what we were doing was morally wrong, illegal, and a taboo in society. Our father wouldn't even look at us anymore. Ever since then, the relationship between Gerard I had not been the same. Now, Gerard himself wasn't the same, because his life had been turned upside down, and fallen apart by our grandmother's death.
It had only been a week since our beloved grandmother Helena had passed away from old age. Gerard had been closer to Helena than our own parents, and I couldn't blame him. Our parents were always away on business trips which sometimes lasted for months. During those times, Gerard and I would be taken care of by Helena. She was the one that praised us of our good grades, taught Gerard how to sing, scolded and disciplined us when we did something wrong, and so on.
Helena was the one I went to when I realized that I loved Gerard as more than brother should a few years ago. I was frightened and confused. Helena held me close, and said that it was okay. That love should never have boundaries.
But now...she was gone, and there was nothing anyone could do to bring her back.
Gerard fell into traumatic depression after Helena's death. He wouldn't smile, laugh, eat, sleep, and from what I heard from our friend Frank, sometimes skip classes. No one was here to protest; our parents were away, and I still felt uncomfortable with the idea of confronting him, especially since he wouldn't even throw a glance at me anymore.
"Mikey..."
I opened my eyes, and turned my gaze to the wall. Had I just heard Gerard call my name? I sat upright, and pressed my ear to the wall. The only thing I could hear were sobs, and frustrated curses in between. I pulled away from the wall, and stared at the sheets strewn across my legs as shame and guilt twisted my insides. How could I have listened to my brother's sobbing for the past few nights, and never go to his room so I could comfort him? I felt a jab of self-hate, but pushed it away, knowing that it wasn't too late to answer my brother's call.
Throwing the covers off of me, I climbed out of the bed, and left the room. The hall was swallowed by such darkness that I couldn't even see my hand when I held it up to my face. Blinded by the darkness, I trailed a hand along the wall, and slowly stumbled down the hall with caution. As I drew close to Gerard's bedroom, I could hear the crying more clearly and loudly. I swallowed hard and blinked to hold the tears in. Once I arrived at Gerard's bedroom door, I knocked on it quietly. I waited for a moment. No answer was given, but I entered the bedroom anyways.
The room was pitch black as the hall outside, but my eyes had adjusted to the darkness by now. I could see a vague outline of Gerard's body to my left. He was sitting on his bed with his back to the wall. One knee was drawn to his chest, and a forearm was rested upon it. His hands were clenched tightly into fists, and his head was hung, thus letting dark locks fall over his face. The boy's shoulders rose and fell with each convulsing sob.
Silently, I padded over to the bed, then climbed onto it. When Gerard felt the mattress sink, he raised his head to stare at me in surprise, as if he didn't know I was here.
"Mikey...?"
His voice sounded hesitant and doubtful, as if it had been years since he had said my name, or acknowledged my presence.
"It's me, Gee," I said softly.
There was no reply from Gerard for quite some time. An awkward silence had formed in the air, and I had no idea how to break it, and make the atmosphere in the room comfortable for both of us. A prolonged moment past before a sudden urge inside of me made me give in, and inch closer to Gee. I could feel his eyes upon me. We both waited, as if we were expecting any word to fall from our tongues and break this silence.
"I'm sorry," were the words from my lips that finally shattered the silence.
"For what?"
"For not coming to you sooner," I explained with a guilt stricken face. "For...neglecting you. Ignoring you. Avoiding you. It...it wasn't right. It wasn't what a good brother would have done." Biting my lower lip, I hung my head in shame.
Gerard exhaled a quiet sigh. "I'm sorry too," he mumbled. "I haven't been looking out for you like I should have..." his voice trailed off as he gingerly touched my arm.
I winced as I flinched in pain. There was a bruise on my arm, and several more on my body. I had been getting beatings from school, and it wasn't because of any high school cliches such as being assumed to be gay, or ridiculed for being "emo", but because I was always the kid that stood up to other kids. If I saw a freshman being bullied not just by jocks, but any male in general, I would confront them, and get in their way. It was impossible for me to resist my morals and sense of right and wrong. I would get knocked around a bit for standing up to any guy, but Gerard had always been there to protect me before we had the fall out a month ago.
"It's okay," I assured Gerard as I leaned in and gave him a light kiss on the cheeks.
Wordlessly, Gerard wrapped his arms around me, and I embraced him back. He was so warm, and it was this warmth I had been longing for. I heard him whisper another apology as he took my hand into his. There was a pause before Gerard spoke again.
"I miss her so much, Mikey..." his voice trembled and cracked. "God...I can't take this pain..."
His grip on my hand grew tighter, as if he was desperately trying to hold on to something, in fear of falling off the edge. As I held his hand back tightly, Gerard rested his head on my shoulder, and leaned his weight against me, which was very light to my alarm. I brushed my arm against his chest, and could feel his ribs easily through the cloth of his shirt. I grimaced. If only I hadn't been afraid to confront Gerard earlier, then perhaps I could have prevented all of the terrible things he was doing to himself.
"You're right. You can't take this pain," I began to say quietly. "You can't, because you're doing it alone, but if you have someone to listen to you and hold you you could make it through."
Gerard lifted his head from my shoulder, and stared at me. Even in the darkness, I could see those brilliant hazel eyes I had come to love. The boy paused before uttering one word.
"Who?"
With my free hand, I placed it on his soft cheek in a lover's caress.
"Me."
It had begun to rain. It started with a barley audible tapping against the window, then a slight drizzle until it crescendo to heavy sheets falling harshly. The rain was soothing to our ears, and the kiss we were sharing was soothing to our hearts. But this kiss was different. It wasn't merely a peck, but a deep pressing of the lips that bore such affection and love. Never in our lives had we held a kiss for more than two seconds, experience the sensation of our tongues brushing against the other's, or hear a moan of pleasure emit from my throat. Gerard had gently pushed me down onto the bed, and held me down on the mattress with his hands on my shoulders. I entwined my fingers in the soft locks of his dark hair as the kiss got only more heated and intense.
But to my surprise and confusion, I could feel scalding tears trickle down the side of my face. When Gerard realized I was crying, he pulled away, and looke down at me with strands of his hair falling into his eyes. He raised one hand to my face, and wiped the tears away with his thumb, like he had done ever since we were young.
"What's wrong?" my brother asked in a gentle voice.
"I love you," I confessed in a cracking voice.
"There's nothing wrong with that, Mikey-"
"No, not like that, Gee," I interrupted as agony clouded over my eyes. "I love you more than a brother should. I can't help myself. I'm so sorry-"
"Why are you saying sorry?"
"Because it's wrong."
"Says who?"
"Mom. Dad. Society. The world."
A smirk formed on Gerard's lips. "Do you honestly think I give a damn about what people think? I'm the most badass rebel you'll find out there."
I couldn't help but laugh quietly. "You're so conceited."
"I know," he said proudly, then rested his forehead against mine. "Mikey," he said in a softer voice, "I love you. Always have. I wasn't afraid of what the world would think; I was just afraid of what you would think-"
Gerard was cut off by a sudden peal of thunder. I jumped and let out a cry in fear. I quickly wrapped my arms around my brother, and buried my face in his chest as I closed my eyes tightly. Once the thunder died down, Gerard burst out laughing. I pulled away, then hit his arm lightly as I pouted.
"It's not funny," I declared with a scowl.
"Sorry," Gerard apologized before kissing my forehead lightly. "You were really cute, that's all."
Heat and tints of faint scarlet surfaced onto my cheeks in embarassment. I turned my head to the side. "What are we going to do now?"
Gerard paused. "Let's move out," he finally said. "I'm old enough to get a flat, and we both have jobs."
Startled, I turned my wide eyes to him. "Seriously?"
Gerard sighed and gazed at me with sad eyes. "You wanna know something?"
I gave a small nod.
"I'm supposed to move out of the house before the 'rents came back home."
Alarm and disbelief surfaced onto my face. "Why?!" I exclaimed in outrage.
"Dad's kicking me out."
I felt tears well in my eyes, and my breathing became irregular as I began to panic. A realization dawned upon me: our parents were forcing us apart. I choked on the tears. If I had not confronted Gerard tonight, would he have left without my knowing? Would he have left me behind? I pressed the back of my hand against my lips to stifle the sobs as I shook my head in denial.
"I don't want to leave you behind, Mikey," my brother said quietly. "You'll always be alone in this empty house..."
I lowered my hand from my lips. "Take me with you."
Gerard held a steady gaze upon me. "Are you sure?"
I nodded. "I'm sure," I answered in a firm tone.
A small smile brushed Gerard's lips. He climbed off of me, and laid down besides me. As he did so, I pulled the blankets over our bodies, before moving closer to my brother. He wiped away the last of my tears, before draping an arm over my chest, and holding me close. There was another crackle of thunder, and though I inhaled sharply and my body went rigid, Gerard comforted me with his voice. I relaxed and began to doze.
My heart was heavy with the knowledge of knowing that our parents were repulsed by us being together, but deep down, I knew that as long as I was with Gerard, things would be alright.
Gerard ran a hand through my hair, and exhaled slowly.
"I wonder what Helena would say..." Gerard murmured. "About us..."
"She said that love should have no boundaries," I answered as I nuzzled his neck in an affectionate manner. "She would have been okay with us."
"You told her?"
"Yeah...few years back."
I heard Gerard chuckled quietly. "Should've known," he remarked, then added softly, "Good-night, Mikey."
I captured his lips with my own before pulling away and closing my eyes.
"Good-night, Gee."
Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away
But these small hours
These little wonders still remain


Waycest makes me happy.
Hope you kids enjoyed this one.
Feedback, rates, and adds are the sex <3
-Failing M.-