[M] He's His Own Celeberity [Two] But That Doesn't Faze Me [Shadows]

Sleep didn't come as easy as I thought, hoped it would.

Other than Matts heavy arm draped across my chest, I found no comfort in anything else. My heart heavily throbbed in my rib cage as I tried to match my breathing to his. He was sleeping so peacefully, I honestly did not want to move, but the thought of ice cream and a Die Hard movie never sounded so wonderful in my life. I struggled under his grasp, the nauseating smell drifting off his worn out body made me want to get away even quicker.

The bright neon lights flashed in our alarm clock. I never did get my ice cream or my movie, the sunrise peeking over the mountains caught my attention instead. Forcing a sigh from my weary lungs, my feet soundlessly gliding to the large balcony that sat over an even larger back yard. An alabaster hand reached out and forced the sliding door open. Letting in a harsh wind and a sparkle of dazzling lights.

"Why do you do this to yourself Kate? Why?" My voice startled me.

My inner voice obviously tired of being ignored. I hung my head low and shrugged sourly. Annoying bangs clouded my vision. The strands of hair clung to the tears pouring quietly from my eyes. I reached out and held the railing of the raised patio. Salty reminders of pain wetting my hands as my shoulders shook violently.

"He has an excuse..He was working."
He has no excuse, he was partying.
"He wouldn't lie to me, he never has."
He always lies to you, he'll never stop.
"He told me he loved me, and I believe him, I do."
So does she, he told her that too..

My body collapsed in silent sobs. I shook my head in disbelief, refusing to believe the nagging in the back of my head. My arms curled securely around my knees and I inhaled. Letting myself cry, once more.. Once again, I looked up to the orange and yellow sky and watched the sunrise. 5: 45 lazily ticked away on my wrist watch. When my eyes decided they could cry no more, I dragged myself off the floor and pushed my hair behind my eyes.

"I need a shower.."
He needs one too. He reeks of cheap groupie whore but you're used to that.


"Go to hell conscience."
It's not where he's at.. it's where he wants to be...
11:30 AM

"Wake up rockstar, we've gotta go record."

I smiled and watched as Zacky poked and prodded at Matts back. Knowing in my mind that he would never get him up like take. I didn't notice the way Zack glanced at me every now and then, checking to see my reaction. There was golf ball sized hickeys covering Matts entire neck, the light shining directly on them when Zack managed to flip him over. I sighed to myself. Of course I see them Zack! He's cheating on me, I know! I wanted to scream at him but I just smiled and nodded. Shrugging a bit.

"What can I do?" I whispered. He looked like he was about to have a heart attack. Anger flushed his face and he looked from me to Matt, to Matts neck, then back to me. And in an instant, he rose his hand over his head and slammed it down on Matthews ribcage. My eyes were wide as Matt flew up. His eyes bigger than mine, but bloodshot, obviously from the booze. He coughed and sputtered for breath, and me like the dumbass good girlfriend, was right at his side.

"Fuck! Baby are you-" I started, but the look in his eyes made me want to run away.
"WHAT THE FUCK? God! I'm trying to fucking sleep, whats your fucking problem Kate?! You're so fucking stupid sometimes!" He words were still slurred, but both Zacky and I gaped at him.

"Wait! Matt! I didnt-" I bit my lip and flinched, tears whelming up in my eyes as his frustration and anger contorted in my veins.

He hadn't noticed Zacky. I was the only one he saw. Who else could have hit him? It was stupid to wake him up like that. Who ever did it did have a problem. And that problem was Zack. It wasn't me. He didn't mean it. It wasnt for me. He's really mad at Zack. He's not mad at me. Zack is stupid, not me. He was trying to sleep.. It was stupid to wake him up like that.

I backed out of the room slowly. Watching Matts face contort from pure anger, to confusion, to realization, to horror, and to anger again.

By then I was running stumbling down the stairs. I was in ear distance to hear Matt hollering.

"WHAT THE FUCK ZACK!?"

See, he was mad at Zack.
Not at me.

Atleast he didn't hit me this time.

And you're proud of that? Maybe you are fucking stupid.

"Go to hell conscience."

It's not where he's at. It's where he wants to be.