You may not know it, but Damian Kulash is actually jaded. Besides OK Go, there is no spice in his life.
Spiciness is a dull flavor for Damian. He is a self proclaimed "Spice Master." Need to get rid of your gigantic bottle of Tabasco sauce? Ask Damian. Put too much pepper in your soup? Give it to Damian.
Some say that when he was born his mother fed him Tabasco sauce instead of breast milk. Others say that he was involved in a scientific experiment when he was very young, and now his blood is actually a liquid spice.
However the story goes, everyone knows that nothing is hot enough for Damian Kulash.
That is, until Damian met Allison.
"Hey! Damian! Want some pizza?" Andy hollered.
"Um...what kind?" Damian asked, never looking up from his book.
"Pepperon -"
"I'll pass."
Andy Ross, who was at the phone, scoffed a little before replying, "Yeah, just make it one large pizza then." With that he hung up.
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.
"Already?" asked, heading towards the door. But instead of a pizza delivery man (or woman), he found Jolynn and some other girl.
"Hey Jolynn. You didn't happen to bring any pizza with you, did you?"
"Why would I do that? You have a phone, call your own pizza," Jolynn answered, walking past him and making her self at home. She sat on the opposite side of Damian on the couch.
"Hello Damian," she chimed, waving her hand in front of his face
"Mmm."
Jolynn stopped, made a face, and looked at her friend, still standing just inside the door.
"Oh, come on Alli, you can quit the act; I know you're not fucking shy."
Allison glared at Jolynn. "What on earth are you talking about?" she snapped, sitting on the couch in between Jolynn and Damian.
And Damian, never looking up from his book, couldn't help but realize how incredibly
"Okay Alli. The pizza guy who answered the door is Andy Ross. The jerk next to you is Damian Kulash, self proclaimed 'Spice -'"
"It is not self proclaimed," he interjected.
Jolynn merely rolled her eyes. "Hey Andy, where are Tim and Dan?"
"They went out somewhere to do...something," was the vague reply from the kitchen.
"Psh. Okay. Well, I'm going to go eat -"
"But Andy said he had pizza -"
"But that'll take ages."
Then there were only two on the couch.
Damian suddenly put down his book. "So, you're Allison?"
Alli turned her head to look at him. "Alli," she retorted.
And Damian couldn't help but feel the temperature rise. He opened his mouth to say something else, but Alli beat him to it.
"Jolynn told me that your sense of hot and spice is dulled."
Jolynn was in fact listening through the kitchen door. She made a face. I didn't say it like THAT! Andy was write beside her, silently laughing and pointing at Jolynn.
Damian laughed a little. "Oh really?"
"Oh, so it's not true? Could've figured; Jolynn -"
"No, no, it's sort of true. I can't really find anything that's too ho...spicy for me."
AGH! I almost said I couldn't find anything that's hot enough for me?! In front of a girl!
She grinned mischievously. "Well, I guess we're going to have to fix that."
Was it just Damian, or was it a sauna in the house? He merely smirked at her, before turning his head towards the kitchen.
"Hey, Andy! What's the temperature in here?"
"Uh..." There was a clashing of pots and pans, and Jolynn shouting something about her foot, when Andy replied, "72 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT!"
Damian mentally broke out into a cold sweat. It's not hot at all! What's going on? What is this?!
"Uh, Damian? Are you okay?" Alli asked, a frown upon her face. "Maybe you ought to lie down?"
"Y-y-yeah. Maybe."
"Need any help?" she offered.
"N-no!" Damian quickly got off the couch and speed-walked to his bedroom. Alli followed him, only a step behind.
"Are you sure you'll be okay?" Alli asked, as Damian sat on his bed. "You look like you're dying in the desert -"
"I've never been to the desert!" Damian objected.
"I never said that," Alli responded, a bit confused.
Damian breathed in deeply. "Okay, this is the deal: I've never felt so..." he hesitated for a bit, before continuing, "hot before. It's...a strange feeling."
Alli desperately fought off the urge to laugh. "Haven't you ever felt the white hot intensity of passionate love before?"
Sure, maybe she hadn't felt the WHITE hot intensity herself, but she felt some hot intensity right now. That was close enough, right?
Meanwhile, Andy and Jolynn stood outside the bedroom door, gawking.
"Have you?!" Damian asked, flustered and offended. It was so hot in the room! The heat was getting to his head, and he slipped off his shirt.
"Uh...uh..." Alli stuttered, her eyes glued to Damian's body. Damian's topless body.
"I'm hoping you'll say no. Cause then we can feel it together," he smirked.
Jolynn bit her lip as she tried not to yelp. "This is getting dangerous," Andy informed her. The two of the crept back to the living room.
"I think you meant hot," Jolynn told him. Just then, there was another knock at the door.
rest in results
"PIZZA!" they celebrated.
Back in Damian's room, clothes were being violently ripped and flung across the room. Sheets were being kicked off and mattress springs were about to experience the weight of a lifetime.
Damian, lying atop of Alli, kissed her with IWHP (intense white hot passion). Allison tried to hold back the numerous sounds her throat was dying to let out. She arched her back and gripped his shoulders tight.
This was only the beginning. And yet the temperature kept rising.
Looks like Damian Kulash isn't jaded anymore.
