Christ! My Dad Just Sold Me! **Ch 14** A Place In This World

Chapter 14: 2-7-08.  Alright.  Still kind of sick but I’m going to cut this one shortish since I’m going to school tomorrow.  Anyway for this chapter I tried to put more dialogue and less description.  Honestly I think it worked.  The words just came easy and this one only took like 15 min to write 5 pages.  Go me!  

Anyway the fan of the week (or is this the second this week?) goes to BlueEyes7537.  Thanks to everyone who messaged but BlueEyes7537 seemed the most sincere this chapter.  Aight well I’ll try to write more tomorrow.  In the meantime, rate, message, all that crap. Xoxo- Lindsay.
 
P.S. wouldn’t it be amazing if we could get me on highest rated or most popular?!?! Okay I know people aren’t that enthusiastic but as this story was my New Years Resolution it would be nice to have something to show for it.  Just something to think about…=P
 
P.S.S. sorry about the long memo!!
 
            A few months had passed. School was going really well.  Dave and I were going really well too…well…kind of.  Honestly he was too clingy for me.  I loved not having to feel lonely all the time and I loved having someone to be there for me, I just didn’t love...Dave.   One thing about being with Dave that I did enjoy was that it annoyed the crap out of Brendon. 

Christmas had gone by much smoother than I would have thought.  I had still been in the novelty phase of my relationship so I there while I missed my family, Dave was there. Right there.  Honestly I physically tried not to cringe when he put his arms around me.  He was so sweet.  It made me feel like the worst person in the world for not wanting to be with him but…I didn’t want to be with him.

School was good.  Honestly I was just really homesick.  I missed Julia and Ryan more than I could say and I really missed my friends.   Patricia was always looking after my needs though:

            “Deary?” Patricia asked one morning at breakfast.  Brendon, Maddie, and I all looked up.  We could never be sure which ‘deary’ she was addressing.  I realized it was me. 

            “Yes ma’am?” I asked politely.  She scowled.  She hated it when I called her ma’am; said it made her feel like an old woman.

            “It’s Patricia darling.  Anyway I’ve noticed you’ve been more down lately.  Are things going sour with Davy,” she asked kindly.  I really did love this woman.  She cared so much.  She didn’t try to be my mom.  That’s what made me love her the most.  She had no interest in being my mom.  She was Patricia!

            “Umm..” I wasn’t sure how to answer.  Yes, things were ‘going sour’ with Dave but I didn’t really want to announce it at the breakfast table before school.
            “Yes?” Brendon asked politely.  He just wanted me to admit that Dave wasn’t all I hoped for.  It seemed like his life goal was to be happier than me.  His relationship with Cassie was just floating along.  Actually it couldn’t really be called a relationship.  I think the proper term was more along the lines of bitter-f*c*-buddy, but to each his own. 

To be honest I would have been really jealous if he had been treating Cassie anything remotely close to kindly.  I wasn’t sure why that was. 

Patricia snapped me out of my thoughts, “Or maybe you’re just homesick?”

            I blushed, “Honestly…I think it’s a little of both.  I really miss my friends and family…not that you guys aren’t fantastic,” I finished lamely. 

            “Rebecca! Sweetie! Don’t ever be afraid to tell us you’re homesick!  What do you expect us to do? Kick you out?” Brendon coughed at this but Patricia just continued to beam.

            “You know what?” She proceeded, “We have a long weekend coming up.  Brendon will take you down to visit!”  With that she stood, and beamed before gracefully exiting the room.  I wondered if she had even heard the loud protests coming from Brendon or if she was just in her own dreamland.

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            “So…” Brendon started once we were seated on the plane, “how did little Davy take it?” 

I scoffed, “What makes you think I’ve broken up with him yet?” Brendon choked but regained his composure.

            “So you haven’t?” He asked.

I sighed, “nope…” I paused trying to figure out whether Brendon was willing to have an adult conversation or if he was just going to throw rude passes. 

I sighed once again, “I just…I don’t want to hurt his feelings.  Also, he’s such a nice guy.  I don’t even deserve him but regardless he picked me…what right do I have to pass that up?”

“You shouldn’t just date a guy because he’s nice and he’s there,” Brendon said.  He was right.

“That’s not all though,” I paused, “I just…he’s always there for me and I’m not sure I could deal with everything without him.”

Brendon took a moment to consider this. 

            “Yes you could,” he said simply.

            “What makes you so sure?” I asked.

            “You dealt with everything before.  Everything and more.  Yeah, it’s true that now you’re in a new place but that doesn’t even compare to how you were before.  At least you have a minute to breathe!  You aren’t raising a family!  That’s a hell of a lot easier than the life you were living,” He finished.

            “That’s it! Don’t you understand? Before I didn’t have a minute to breathe! That’s how I survived.  If I had had time to slow down I would have broken down crying or buckled under the stress.  The constant pace was the only thing keeping me going and ever since I moved the lack of pace has shook me up,” I paused.  My eyes were watering. I didn’t like this.

Brendon could sense my discomfort.  He didn’t say anything.  He merely pointed to the ipod in my lap.  I handed it to him. 

I don’t know what I want
 So don’t ask me
‘cuz I’m still trying to figure it out
 
I recognized the song.  It was one of my favorite Taylor Swift songs. 

Don’t know what’s down this road
I’m just walking trying to see through the rain coming down
Even though I’m not the only one who feels the way I do
 
As the chorus started my tears rolled over.  Brendon had successfully done something Dave never had.  Sure, Dave was always there for me but Brendon understood.  Sometimes I wasn’t sure because he always gave me such a hard time but Brendon truly understood.  This song was everything I felt.
[Chorus]
I’m alone on my own
And that’s all I know
I’ll be strong, I’ll be wrong, oh but life goes on
I’m just a girl trying to find my place in this world.
 
When the song ended I looked at Brendon.  He was sitting there with the other headphone in his ear flipping nonchalantly through a magazine.  I was calm now.  I sighed and sat back to enjoy the rest of the flight.