I heard a pin drop & a nervous heartbeat [11]

Dear Journal,

I still can't believe that Kara suggested that I write in this stupid thing to release my feelings. I guess it's my fault for getting an apartment with someone who is studying for a degree in human pyscology. I also can't believe that five years have gone by since I've seen Pete, Andy, and Joe or since I have been back to Chicago. I have still missed them every single long day of every single long year. I never stopped thinking about their reactions when they realized that I had left. I would sit alone in my room and imagine Pete and Andy and Joe driving up the road to my house happily and then seeing my empty house and realizing that I was gone and I didn't even say goodbye to them. They probably hated me after that. It took me nearly four months after we moved to realize that we really didn't have a choice. My mom and my sister live next door to my aunt and her husband Jim, whom she married two years ago, and my cousin Stephanie. Right after I turned nineteen, I moved in with Kara Johnson, a girl that I met when I first enrolled in community college. She has a twin brother named Peter. I never really mentioned anything about my life in Chicago. She knows that's where I moved from, but she doesn't know anything else about my life and my friends there. I have been thinking for the past month and a half about moving back to Chicago after we graduate next week. I wonder if they would still be happy to see me. I wonder if they've completley forgotten about me. I wonder if Joe has moved on... 

Hope, luck, wishes,
Jade Allen

I closed the journal and dropped it back on the table beside of my bed and leaned back with my hands behind my head.

For some reason, I woke up this morning with a terrible feeling. A feeling like something had happened to my friends in Chicago. I can't explain it exactly.

I got up and crossed the room and opened the door slowly.

"Morning!" Kara smiled to me as I dragged myself across the kitchen floor. "Coffee?" She asked, holding up her mug.

I grumbled in reply and leaned across the counter.

"Don't tell me that you didn't sleep again!" Kara said as she walked over and stood beside of me.

She was right. I had been awake every night this week, just plotting everything that I was going to do once I drove back to Chicago. Kara didn't know that I was even planning on moving back yet.

I sighed and trudged back to my bedroom and got dressed. I emerged pulling on a pullover hoodie and walked towards the door with my keys in hand.

"Where are you going?" Kara asked with a questionable look on her face.

"Out." I stated as I closed the door behind me.

She knew that when I said that I was simply going "out", that I needed to clear my head. When I returned, she was waiting for me with a request for an explanation. Sometimes she got one, sometimes I simply went into my room and laid fully clothed on my bed and stared at the ceiling another hour.

This time was no exception. I walked back in the door two hours later and found Kara sitting on the couch.

She smiled at me and gestured for me to sit down beside of her.

"Why'd I get stuck with the roomate studying human pyscology?" I asked sarcastically as I sat down beside her.

"So, Jade. What's going on lately? You haven't been sleeping again." She said as I leaned my head on her shoulder.

"Well, I've been thinking." I began as I sighed and pushed the hair out of my face. "About moving back to Chicago after we graduate."

"How long have to been thinking that?" She asked, quite surprised.

"Nearly two months. I can't help it. Something about Chicago and the people I met there just turned my life around." She leaned over and gave me a hug, patting my shoulder. This made me very thankful for a great friend like Kara. "I fell in love there."

I sighed and leaned off of her shoulder and leaned my head back on the couch.

"I never told you about my friends there, did I?" Kara shook her head. "Well, my first day there, I met this guy named Peter. He was so nice to me. I was sitting on the front steps and he walked up to me and said hello. Something about Wilmette scared me until I met him."

Kara jerked suddenly and her eyes opened wide. "Did you say Wilmette?"

"Yeah." I replied. "Why?"

"Nothing. Go on." She tried to hide the smile on her face.

"He introduced me to his friend Andy the next day. And that summer, he introduced me to the most special person I would ever meet. Joe Trohman."

At this point, Kara let out a squeel of excitement. When I looked at her questionably, she motioned for me to go on.

"But then, my mom got in a car accident and after she left the hospital, she had to come stay here with my Aunt Ameilia. When I thought she had returned for good, she actually only came back to pick me and my sister up. She told me right then and there to start packing because we were moving. She finally got in through my thick skull that we didn't have enough money to keep paying rent, buy a new car, and buy groceries. Especially because my mom couldn't work because she broke her leg. So we came here five years ago and I haven't seen them since..." I stopped at stared straight at Kara, watching the excited expression on her face.

"Come into my room for a moment." She said as she stood up and walked towards her bedroom door.

I followed her and sat down on her bed as she popped a CD into the stero and pressed play. I enjoyed the music that I was listening to.

"Hey this is catchy. What's the name of the band?" I asked as the first song ended.

"Fall Out Boy." She replied.

I stopped and looked at her blankly. "What?" I asked again.

"Fall Out Boy." She replied as she reached for the case and handed it to me. "Here."

I took one look at it and my jaw dropped instantly.

"Oh my god!" I fumbled with it and turned it over in my hands many times. "It's...it's...Peter, ugh...Joe's doofus friend Patrick, Andy, and...and...Joe." I stared at it for another moment in disbelief before Kara spoke again.

"Those are your friends, huh?"

I nodded. "Where'd you find this?"

"Wal-Mart. You can find it nearly everywhere. They've got a breakthrough album coming out in May with Island Records."

A lot had changed since I left.