I sat in front of the television with Ryan next to me. We were fully concentrated on the movie, and nothing else; at least he was. I was watching him out of the corner of my eye, as I tried to avoid the splashes of blood and human entrails that covered the screen. As the movie ended and the credits rolled through the screen, Ryan turned to me, as I to him.
"Jezebel, I have to tell you something," he said, looking right into my eyes.
"Shoot it," I said to him as he fidgeted with his fingers.
"I love you," he blurted out to me. My mind raced, my response already thought up in my head, which was 'I love you too'.
"I... I don't feel the same way," I gritted through my teeth, though I knew it was a lie.
"Oh..." he responded. His face held a sorrowful expression, one of sadness and discouragement in one. I felt terrible, because I knew I felt different, but I didn't have the guts to say it.
"I'm sorry, Ryan, I really am," I lied again. My eyes drifted away from his sore, painstaking eyes. My mind was taking over my heart, and I couldn't figure out why. I felt the same way, I truly did, but my mind decided against it.
"I'm sorry too," he said glumly as he stood up.
"Ryan, wait!" I yelled to him, as he shrugged on his jacket.
"I can't do this if you don't love me back. I can't stand being around you when I know you don't feel the same way," he said as he walked out the door.
I frowned, knowing I shouldn't have responded to his confession. I should've paused, thought, and then spoke. I shouldn't have let my mind to the talking for me.
I stared out the window, into the foggy, rainy outdoors. The roads were slippery and wet, the sidewalks flooded; the road gutters did nothing.
After moments of staring out the window, I raced to the door and shrugged on my jacket. I bolted down the street, towards his house. I hollered his name as he crossed the street. He stood there, staring at me with pain in his eyes as a car came at full speed down the hill. The car tried to skid to a halt, but it was no good, it hit Ryan dead-on as his body flew into the air and back down onto the black tar.
I cried as I ran up to his body, "Ryan," I said to him, as he was partially conscious. I held him in my arms as I told him, "I love you, I swear to god. I love you. I don't know what is wrong with me. Why did I say no? Why did I lie to you? I loved you since the day we met," I told him, pouring my feelings into his half-conscious soul. I cried as I kissed his bloody forehead and wiped his hair out of his face. His blue eyes stared at me, a weak smile on his face as he whispered "I love you too. Thats all I Wanted," he strained to say. I kissed him lightly on his lips before his eyes fluttered shut, and his body lay limply in my arms. I bent over, crying. I gripped onto him tightly as the ambulance neared.
I regretted lying. If it weren't for my lies, he'd still be alive. I would still have my best friend. I'd still have him, the one person I truly loved. All because of one stupid mistake, I lost my best friend and love forever.
Thanks for reading. =]
