It was freezing.
"I can't believe Sandra did this," Alicia muttered.
"Me either," Seb agreed.
Sandra had locked both of them down in Alicia's basement, and since Alicia was moving the following week, it was near empty. The only thing that remained was an old couch they hadn't bothered moving upstairs yet.
Now, both Sebastien and Alicia sat on the sagging cushions, barely speaking. And on top of that, Alicia felt like an ice cube. She was clad in only a t-shirt and Dickies capris. Seb at least had jeans and a hoodie.
Only a few minutes had passed. Alicia prayed one of the guys would take pity on them and unlock the door.
A shiver raced across Alicia's skin. Bumps formed along her bare arms, the sight making her feel even colder, if that was possible. Alicia crossed the room to a tiny closet under the stairs. Dust kicked up into the air as she flicked on the dull light bulb inside.
"Hallelujah." A blue blanket sat idly on one of the shelves. Although dusty and old, Alicia shook it out and gratefully wrapped herself inside of its warmth.
Sebastien smiled. "Doesn't that smell?"
"Yeah."
"And doesn't the smell bother you?"
"Yeah. What's your point?"
He shrugged. "Nothing."
Alicia fell back onto the couch and shifted uncomfortably. It had been so long since they had last spoken to each other that Alicia felt completely and utterly tongue-tied around him. There had to be something she could say, to break the ice. But nothing came to mind. Though it didn't matter, really.
"So . . ." Sebastien glanced at her. "How's packing going?"
Alicia blinked. "Fine," she replied, unsure of what else to say. An awkward silence fell between them.
Sebastien cleared his throat. "So, uh . . . the guys are doing a good job helping out?"
"Yeah."
Apparently the blanket wasn't very thick, because shivers started rolling along her skin again. She inwardly started cursing Sandra.
"You're not making this easy for me."
"What?" Alicia was confused. "What do you mean?"
"I'm trying to carry a conversation and you just give me one word answers."
"I wasn't aware I couldn't do that."
Sebastien stuffed his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. He didn't bother to say anything else on the subject. "Whatever."
Eyeing him, Alicia noticed he actually seemed a bit down. Though, being locked inside a cold basement wasn't exactly thrilling her either. But still. She rarely ever saw that look in his eyes.
"Seb?" He didn't acknowledge her. "Seb, what's wrong? Talk to me."
His jaw clenched for a moment. "No."
"Now who's the one being difficult?"
No response.
"Jeez . . . Fine, I'll shut up."
The blanket's musty smell was finally unnoticeable. Alicia wrapped it tighter around her. Her body was still freakishly cold. Upstairs there was a muffled crash, followed by the thumps of many pairs of feet. Alicia's blood froze, wondering who caused the sound and what had been damaged, if anything. For a fleeting moment, a picture of David knocking the lamp in the living room off the table entered her mind. It was entirely plausible, which made her suppress a laugh.
"You're leaving for California next week."
The words made Alicia's attention stray from the murmuring voices above. A bitter sensation welled in the pit of her stomach. And, without thinking, that feeling came out of her mouth.
"Yeah. And we all know how happy that'll make you." Sebastien visibly flinched, but she didn't notice. "You know, not being stuck with a slut like me around to mess things up, your life will be a lot--"
"How stupid are you?"
The unexpected shouting caused Alicia to jump and nearly fall off the couch. She looked over at him, bewildered at his loud, intense voice.
Sebastien stood, his hands clenched into fists at his side, knuckles almost white. Anger clouded his eyes.
"Do you think you'll be the only one who'll be sad and lonely when you move? Or that I'll be just peachy next week? Well, you're wrong!" His face contorted in a pained way. "I'm sick of this! I'm going to be just as sad and lonely as you! In fact . . ."
Tears suddenly pooled around his heavenly blue eyes.
"I'm going to be even lonelier." They started to fall, rivers running down his cheeks. Sebastien didn't bother to brush them away. "When we're apart . . . I'm the one who can't handle it!"
A wave of shock jolted through Alicia's insides at the sight of his tears. They rendered her speechless. Never before had she seen him cry, or be so . . . emotional.
"I've beaten myself up everyday since I broke it off with you! I thought I'd have the confidence to get through this, because I still got to see you everyday. Or at least that's what . . . I thought . . ."
The tears started to fall faster. Alicia felt her own spring to her eyes.
"So how . . . can you think I won't miss you?!" Sebastien cried. Through his tears he looked at her, and a small sob ripped from his throat when he saw she was crying too. "Damn it . . . Smile! I -- just smile and tell me it will be okay . . ."
Before Alicia's very eyes, the invisible barrier Sebastien had kept up for so many weeks was gone, revealing a scared and lonely boy. The sight of him crying and sobbing tore at her heart in a way nothing else had before. Had she really been so blind? Had Alicia really been so wrapped up in her own misery that she never stopped once to think about what Sebastien might be struggling with? That maybe -- just maybe -- he was hurting like she was?
Alicia was overwhelmed with it all.
Reaching out, she wrapped her arms carefully around his neck. Sebastien fell to his knees and she went right down with him, gently stroking his head as he wept harshly into her shoulder.
"Sebastien," she murmured, trying to blink away her tears. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, Sebastien..."
Alicia had been self-absorbed. And Sebastien had kept up a good front to fool her, to make sure she didn't see his pain. But he had finally broken down and told her how he felt, and cried for the first time. He had been trying to keep everything inside, just like Alicia had been.
He really does care for me Alicia thought as she began to weep again.
"Thank you... Sebastien. I'm sorry..."
I'm so sorry.
