By the time it got warm enough we could actually try the car wash to raise money for a house extension. It had gotten to the point where I was sleeping in the basement. Not that I'm complaining...but...yeah.
We had a sign up in front of the house. A huge colorful sign that read "Alpha Kappa Lambda Car Wash". We had buckets out, and a huge supply of soap. There was only one problem, though. It seemed that every sorority and fraternity on campus wanted to have a car wash the day we chose to have ours.
There were only two around our area, but one sorority decided to do their's right across the street from us. This was not lucky on our part.
"Um...wow?" Nathan says, which is what the expression reads on everyone else's face.
"Well shit, this is just great." I say, frustrated.
"Well maybe we'll get more customers. You never know." Marty said, scratching her head.
"Oh you think so Marty? Really? Look at them!" The girls across the street stood, raising signs in the air, wearing Technicolor bikinis. One of them even had sponges taped to her breasts. Oh, well you know, that just screws us over. This is the downside of being lame I suppose.
"I like my outfit, personally." Harold says, grinning. She had on a flowered swim cap, a green one-piece, and a duck floatie around her waist. Also, she had on flippers.
"What I don't get is...Bob? Why are you wearing converse?" Spencer asks.
"She has podophobia." Melvin explains. Confused looks ensue.
"It means I'm afraid of feet." I say. They stare at me for seconds before bursting in to laughter.
"You do notice she hasnt looked down once? Most of us are barefoot." Sean says, just now noticing that I'd been trying to avoid having to look at their feet.
"We are dressed rather oddly." Nathan says. I look down at my long swim trunks and oversized hoodie.
"Well...Not like Melvin!" I say defending my honor.
"Hey! I look awesome!" Melvin says defensively about her scuba diving outfit, which I've decided not even to ask about. We all had some derivative of that. One would think...did none of us own a normal swimsuit?
An hour later the only customer we got was the dorm coordinator from a couple buildings down. The other sorority made about five hundred dollars and it wasn't even three o' clock yet.
"Kay so...maybe car wash isn't our thing. We made a lot of money from the Halloween thing...I'm sure we can think of something else." Shaant says, trying to be the optimist.
I sighed.
"Man, I hoped this would work." Now the other girls were teasing us with their 'goods'. I decided I was ready to go inside.
"Bob! You can't be depressed! That's the exact opposite of what this sorority stands for!" Adam exclaimed later that night inside the house. I'd been quiet since the fundraiser attempt and was sitting at the dining room table drawing.
"Exactly! When you're depressed...you're just...Erin!" Alvin said. Some other sisters gasped.
"Something needs cheering up." Melvin said.
I simply shrugged.
"I'm fine guys. Just a little upset that's all. Sometimes I wish I looked like those other girls so things would be easier.
Then, a huge gasp from sixty plus girls in hearing range.
"INTERVENTION!!!" Harold yelled. My eyes widened in surprise. Melvin and Harold dragged me from the table with the help of other sisters and down to the basement, into a chair.
"Now sit, or so help me I will get the duct tape!" Melvin threatened. My eyes were still wide.
"Now. We will never look like those preppy sorority bitches! Ever! And we're damn proud of it!" Adam yelled. I was surrounded by all of them.
"And you are too!" Nathan yelled from behind me, for she was holding my hands together.
"But..." I started.
"YOU ARE!" They all yelled.
"Say it!" Spencer urged me. Soon, they were all chanting it.
"I AM!" I yell, so loud that they are all quiet at once. "You're completely right and I was just out of it for a while. I would never want to be like them! I started the sorority didn't I!?" With that, hollers and woots erupted from the crowd of girls. Then, I was tackled.
How I survived, I couldn't tell you.
"Melvin, this is Sergeant Bob, do you read? Over." I said quietly into the walkie talkie on the side of the mansion.
She came back staticky.
"I read you sergeant, this is Lt. Melvin. I believe the enemy is close by. Over." I looked around narrowing my eyes for sight of anyone. I think the black marks on my cheeks are smudged. I was kneeling next to a basement window, and before I knew it, someone had reached out and grabbed my arm.
"GAH! Soldier! They've got me! Over!" I yelled into the walkie talkie before dropping it.
Sean and Myron had my body half way through the window. Then they could pull no more.
"Whoops. Soldier I think she's stuck." Myron stated.
"Ya think?" I say sarcastically.
"Hey that's not soldier talk! I thought we were playing Soldiers!" Sean said.
"We were, until I got stuck in the window!" I yell.
"Ooh, sergeant's a little touchy." Peter was also in the room.
"Butter! We need lots of butter!" she said with her finger in the air. I expressed a worried look that was greatly mixed with confusion.
"Butter!?" They ran up the stairs, and I was left there, stuck in the window.
Somebody nudged my shoe from the other side.
"Uh...do you need help?" the person asked. It was a guy's voice so I was confused as to what he was doing around here.
"Why yes, I happen to be stuck in a basement window." I say.
The guy pulled on my legs, until finally, I was yanked out of the window and on to the grass next to him with a thud. I got up and dusted myself off, as did he.
I cleared my throat.
"Nice to meet you. My name is Bob." I say, holding out my hand. He shakes it.
"Bob? Interesting. Well...is this the AKL Sorority?" I furrow my eyebrows together.
"Yes..." I secretly hoped we weren't being shut down by the dean or something. Though he looked a little young to be delivering that kind of business.
"Why do you ask?"
"I wanna join." He said, grinning, now that he knew he was in the right place.
My mouth dropped.
"You want to...what?" I ask, not sure I heard correctly.
"I want to join. I'm Ryan." He was still grinning. He was a dude. Did he not realize that this wasn't a frat? Did he not know the difference of a sorority and a fraternity?
"GUYS! Bob's talking to a dude!!!" Harold yelled from a window above. A bunch of girls rushed behind her and to other windows on that side of the house.
"Well...this is a sorority, meaning it's for girls...but I really don't see why not. I mean, we bend the rules all the time. So...welcome to AKL Rachel." I say.
"Rachel?" he said, looking confused.
"He's joining!" I heard girls whispering to each other.
"It's your sorer name!" Spencer yelled to him.
He finally understood the concept and nodded feverishly.
"But um...may I ask how you found out about us? The flyers must be faded by now." I say.
"Oh, Nat invited me to join." He says, smiling. I look up at Nathan and she blushes and shrugs.
"Well you said we bend the rules all the time right?"
*winces*
O_O
*runs away*
