.Brendon. Good good now we're making some progress .Ryan. 20 (NOT SLASH!!)

"Hey girl, how are you?" Tracy asked, immediately answering her phone a few days later.
"Hi." I replied.
"How are you?" She asked.
"Mm fine thanks, you?" I asked back.
"Yeah good. So what's up?" She said to me.
"You not answering my MySpace message that's what." I said and she sighed.
"I honestly didn't know what to say. I was sort of waiting for a phone call anyway, it's better to explain it like this."
"Oh okay. So care to tell me what's happening with you and Ryan?" I asked.
"Alright." She began "Well I don't know. Ever since junior high whenever he got a girlfriend he'd start ignoring me. Never Spencer or Brent, or any other of his friends. Oh no, he kept the 'friends are forever' pact with them. It was just me. Half of it was because he obviously was scared his girlfriends would think me and Ryan see each other as more than friends. I think most of it was he had a girl position held. He'd have me around for a touch of feminism and as soon as he got a new girlfriend, that role was taken so he'd brush me aside."
"Oh Trace." I said, feeling sorry for her. "I thought he and Tarah broke up though?"
"Oh they did, but he has a new girl he's masturbating over." Tracy said, a bit bitterly.
I knew she didn't like Ryan in that way. She was just bitter that he was using her in this way, and probably jealous of this new girl, taking the attention off her. HANG ON, NEW GIRL?!
"Really?!" I asked, shocked and confused.
"Yep. He randomly found her LiveJournal and just started commenting her. He's basically e-stalking her, and keeps hitting on her." She said, in the same tone.
"That's really weird..." I admitted.
"What?" She asked.
"Oh, he asked me to one of his college parties. As friends, of course. It's just really odd he would ask me, instead of her. He did say people he knew wouldn't be into it though, maybe that's it." I shrugged, realising she couldn't see it, but hopefully my tone of voice I put on made it obvious.
She snorted loudly.
"What sort of party?" She asked.
"Um, 80s theme or something." I replied, and Tracy started cackling.
"Trust me Mod, she's a trendy bleach haired blonde scene kid, who goes to drunken parties every weekend. She'd be there in a heartbeat."
"Wait, how can someone be a bleach blonde, and a scene kid at the same time?" I asked, confused.
"I don't know. But he's never met her, and I don't think he plans to for a while. Maybe that's why he asked you."
"Oh." I said.
"Sorry." She said, apologetically knowing how I must feel.
Well, I can't be pissed at him. He basically told me in that cafe I was his last resort. But it still seems really weird, like the fact he didn't tell me about this new girl. I mean, if he's infatuated with her, and you're constantly talking about your ex, wouldn't you at least give it a mention?
"It's fine. What's her name anyway?" I asked.
"Jac...I think. Anyway, enough about Ryan and his internet relationships. How are you and Brendon?" She replied.
"Meh, not too well actually. We've had 3 small petty arguments this week, and it's only Wednesday!" I complained.
"Really?" She asked.
"Yeah, one was about shoes. One was about east vs west side, and one was about...god I don't even know." I sighed.
"Wow, I really don't know what to say. Sorry." Tracy admitted.

"It's fine. Do you have a boyfriend yet?" I smirked.
"No. But I like someone." I could hear the smile in her voice.
"Who?" I asked, deviously.
"No offense Modesty, but I haven't told a single soul who it is. But one day, you'll find out." Tracy nervously said.
"Yeah, that's fine, no offense taken." I replied.
"Good. Well sorry to make this conversation short but I have to go now, as my Dad wants me to do the dishes." Tracy said, and I could imagine a scowl on her face.
"Haha okay, have fun." I laughed.
"Bye. Also, I know I'm not really friends with Ryan at the moment, but can you not tell him I told you about Jac? I mean it's open for everyone to see, as neither of their LiveJournals are friends only, and I don't care if he finds out, but just say you stumbled across them if you need to tell him."
"Sure." I said.
"Okay bye." She parted, and hung up.
I threw my phone onto my bed. I don't know why I was so annoyed, because like Tracy, I don't like Ryan. Perhaps it was like Tracy's situation. But a bit different. I feel hurt he wouldn't tell me about this 'Jac' girl for some reason. I really don't know how to act around him though. Do I ask him about it? Do I just pretend I don't know. Do I avoid him?
I decided the computer would calm me down.
stitchesnwalkers: Hey
catsruledogsdrool: Hey. Not meaning to be rude or anything, but who is this?
stitchesnwalkers: the bogeyman. jk it's ryan.
That gave me an 'ultimate plan' that made me thank god for the internet. Because if I did what I'm about to do in real life, I wouldn't get away with it. I was going to bring up the topic without actually bringing it up, poke around and see if he'd mention Jac. If he does, it was probably an accident he didn't tell me about her. If he still doesn't, he's hiding her from me, and I want to find out why.
catsruledogsdrool: Nice new s/n.
stitchesnwalkers: thanx. we all got new sns for the band, to be 'cool'
catsruledogsdrool: Ah I see. How is the band going anyway?
stitchesnwalkers: good. we decided on a name, so we can finally start posting things online.
catsruledogsdrool: And?
stitchesnwalkers PANIC at the Disco
catsruledogsdrool: ...
catsruledogsdrool: That's seriously the name of your band?
stitchesnwalkers: got something to say?
catsruledogsdrool: *cough* well, it's different at least.
stitchesnwalkers: damn right. it was either that, or something emo scene these days like 'stab my heart' or 'blooded romance' jk, ew hell no. lol
catsruledogsdrool: erhowboutno?
stitchesnwalkers: hey do you have a livejournal?
OH HELL YES, HERE WE GO.
catsruledogsdrool: Nah, I've heard about it though. Should I get one?
stitchesnwalkers: yes, come and join the scene kid club and post all of your hardcore memories. Seriously though, it's pretty cool i've joined heaps of band communities and stuff.
catsruledogsdrool: Should I? It seems kind of weird, having an online journal for everyone to see though.
stitchesnwalkers: yeah it does i guess, but you can always just make your journal friends only. And add me of course
Well, maybe he'll mention her? I suppose he didn't want me to not read his journal, where possible conversations with this girl may be. If he wanted to keep her top secret, I don't think he'd try and convince me to join the site.
catsruledogsdrool: What's the point in that then? I'd obviously only have it to bitch about you.
stitchesnwalkers: true...
Here we go folks, hook in...
catsruledogsdrool: Met anyone interesting on there.
stitchesnwalkers: idk. should i have?
catsruledogsdrool: Just a general question...seeing if this site is worthy of me making an appearance on :P
stitchesnwalkers: fair enough.
catsruledogsdrool: Any hot chicks? :P
stitchesnwalkers: never knew you swung that way. explains why you're into brendon though.
catsruledogsdrool: Oh shush. Seriously, have you?
stitchesnwalkers: why do you wanna know?
catsruledogsdrool: 1. like before, making conversation. 2. Why do you keep avoiding the question?
stitchesnwalkers: alright, alright. no i havent. i have gotten a few girls hit on me though, said some stuff back to make them feel better.
He was hiding it from me. There was no deeper I could go into that conversation, without giving away that I knew about her. I didn't really care if he knew, but I didn't want him thinking I was angry at him for giving another female attention. I knew how boys like his mind's worked, and as much as Ryan was my friend, it would raise his ego too much. Speaking of my infatuation...I think I might go see Brendon at his work. Try and make peace about the argument I can't even remember about.
catsruledogsdrool: Hm, well if it's got people like you on it, better stay far away from it :P I'm going to go annoy Brendon at his work. Seeya!
stitchesnwalkers: Bye.
I turned off my computer and went into the living room to ask mom if I could walk to Brendon's work.
***
The walk to Brendon's work is about half an hour from where I live. It's a 5 minute drive, however because we lived in the valley, aka suburban area you had to walk through a lot of side streets, which I assume must have something to do with the time it takes.
When I walked in, the place was empty. Which wasn't surprising. The weather was a lot colder, so people wouldn't come to get a smoothie on a hot day. Also, it was getting dark outside so the people just coming home from work rush would have well and truly ended.
"Modesty!" Brendon piped up, surprised as he was leaning over the counter looking bored, but when he saw me his face lit up.
It was a nice way to be greeted, considering the last time I saw him I yelled at him to 'piss off' and he called me something like drama queen. Although I wasn't expecting to greet him like it this time, I was expecting bitterness, or at least awkwardness.
"Hey. Do you have any smoothies with like, unhealthy stuff in it." I asked him.
"Um...we have one with chocolate?" He suggested.
"Smoothie with chocolate? Aren't they all...fruit?" I giggled.
"Nup. Is that what you want?" He asked.
"Yeah, I guess." I said and I paid him and he put the order through.
He went and made it himself, only another kid and a manager was on, the other kid offered to make it but Brendon insisted.
"Look kid, it's not busy tonight. How does half an hours break sound?" His managed asked him, and pat him on the shoulder once he had finished.
"...we can have breaks? I only thought rich people could!" Brendon asked, amazed.
"All you have to do is ask." The manager said, somewhat surprised.
"I can do that?" Brendon asked, and I could just see the stars in his eyes.
"Yes, now run along. When you get back all you have to do is help close." The manager said and Brendon handed me my smoothie, went into another room to obviously clock off and came out from behind me.
"So..." Brendon asked.
"So..." I copied, taking a sip on my smoothie.
"Like it?" He grinned.
"Hm...if I die, you do realise it's your fault." I said, and unconsciously swung my drink towards him.
He grabbed my straw and took a sip.
"Then we'll die together." He grinned.
"Oh my god, how very modernised Romeo and Juliet of you. However, then I'll have to put up with you for an eternity in the afterlife. So I really would have preferred you to not do that." I said cheekily.
"Oh shush, you young whipper snapper you." He replied.
We talked while I quickly finished my smoothie. It wasn't exactly 'small talk' and it wasn't exactly awkward, however it wasn't easy flowing conversation like the ones we had in summer.
"Don't you miss summer." I sighed, as I tossed my smoothie cup into the trash can.
"Yeah. I do." He admitted.
"Do you know what I mean when I say that?" I asked him.
He looked down, avoided my gaze and nodded.
"But, this is a common thing in relationships. A lot of people don't break up." He shrugged.
"Okay kick my ass because this is way too cheesy for my liking, but what doesn't break us up only makes us stronger. They're petty fights, we get over them easily. I doubt we'll break up." I said.
"That is a good attitude to have. Modesty, you know whatever happens I do really like you." He said, and looked like he was struggling.
I know what comes next. This is like out of a bad movie, so bad it's realistic. And now proves it.
"I love you." He splurted out.
I'm young. I've only ever had one other boyfriend. I don't know what love is. Maybe I do love him. However the thing I've learned from bad movies is when someone says they love you in a teenage relationship, you act as if you're being forced into an arranged marriage. You just assume you'll grow to love that person. That's what made me say it back. I may not be "in love" with Brendon, but I still don't want to lose what I have with him. Maybe it's blind love.
"I love you too." I whispered, getting close to him and we kissed.
We heard cat calls and broke apart, seeing Brendon's manager and co-worker standing there, clapping.
We both blushed, but Brendon's face was in a huge smile.
"You have ten minutes until close and your break ends." His manager said.
"Oh okay, come on Mod I'll drive you home so you don't have to walk home in the dark."
The car ride was nice. I'll admit it. Conversations was easily flowing, and maybe saying it was a good thing to do. But after giving him a peck on the lips, and running into my room was when it hit me.
We had only exchanged "i love you's" to save our relationship. Mine was a bit different from Brendon's, it was so he wouldn't get offended and dump me. But his intentions would be to save our relationships. Hopefully to stop our arguments. I know sort of regret saying it back too.
I got out my cell phone and dialled Tracy's number, and I spoke before she could even say hi.
"Tracy, I just did something really bad..."
It's hard just to talk to you but you don't understand.
So I was thinking about how many parts this story should have...30 would probably be the best for me, however in ten parts I don't think I'll get across heaps of things I want to happen plus the time frame. How does 40 sound
That means that this is the exact middle, yippee!