Chapter One
Swear To Shake It Up
Ryan slid his hand up the sturdy shaft, and groaned at the roughness of it. He thrust his hips forward, grimacing at the sound coming from beneath his long fingers. Brendon licked his sultry lips and wrapped his hand around the pole. His breathing came out in ragged gasps, and his mind couldn't focus. His thoughts were all over the place, beads of sweat were forming on his face.
"Hey, Brendon?" Ryan asked, his voice weak.
"Yeah, Ry?" Brendon replied as he covered his microphone with his large hand.
"There's something wrong with my guitar," Ryan mumbled, staring down at his sandy coloured instrument. "Do you think you could take a look at it?" Brendon nodded his head and walked the three feet towards his best friend.
Brendon bent down and plucked the strings, with a look of confusion on his delicate face. Ryan bit his lower lip, worried that he would have to switch guitars for the show later on. It would totally mess up his whole bravado.
"Roxy, fuck," a voice complained loudly, causing Ryan to look up suddenly. "No, you can't spend that much money on a fucking My Chemical Romance sweater! It's a total waste of money!"
"I thought you liked My Chem, Bella," the girl named Roxy whined as the two girls entered through the doorway. "And don't you dare say My Chem is a waste of money!"
"Shut up Roxanne," Brendon said playfully, rolling his brown eyes before focusing back on the guitar beneath him. Ryan smiled at the two girls, who grinned back.
"Is Spence coming?" Ryan asked, looking towards Roxy's beautiful face.
"Ugh, I don't even know," she huffed. "He's helping mum do some stupid thing...I really don't know what my brother is doing these days."
"Where's Jon?" Bella piped up, flicking her long black hair over her shoulder. Ryan jerked his head towards her with a quizzical look on his face.
"Not here yet, why?" he asked as a surge of jealousy pulsed through his brain. Bella looked away, blushing, suddenly very interested in her bright red fingernails. Brendon raised his eyebrows at the sudden severity in his best friend's voice.
"He'll be here soon..." Brendon said casting a suspicious glance at Ryan.
As soon as the words escaped Brendon's mouth, the door banged open as Jon sauntered in.
"Hey Walker!" Ryan exclaimed quickly, before Bella could open her mouth. She cast a dark glance in his general direction, before turning and stalking from the room.
"What the fuck?" Brendon asked, getting up to follow his baby sister out of the warm-up room. Ryan mumbled something incoherently under his breath, before turning his attention to Roxy.
"Oh shit! I forgot my lucky rabbit foot in my car! I'll be back!" And with that, Jon was gone.
And then there were two.
Roxy walked over to her boyfriend, smiling a smile only reserved for him. He chuckled and grazed her left cheek with his finger. He stood up and lifted his guitar from his lap, setting it beside him. He pulled Roxy into a loving hug, whispering in her ear.
"I missed you," his voice was quiet, his lips lightly touching her ear. "Does Bella know anything?"
"I missed you too, and of course not, stupid. Why would I tell her? This is a secret, after-all, isn't it?" Roxy snapped. Ryan pulled away, locking brown to blue, as his thumb traced the outline of her face.
"You know I'm just trying to protect you," he murmured. "The media would tear you apart."
"But I want people to know to you're mine." Roxy muttered.
"But we know I am..." Ryan pulled Roxy against him, placing his head on her chocolate brown hair. "Babe, you're my everything and I don't want some stupid magazine ripping us apart."
Roxy blushed scarlet, and kissed Ryan's protruding collarbone. He sighed and a waft of her vanilla scented hair hit him in the face.
"Bella, fuck, slow down!" Brendon huffed as he struggled to keep up with his sister.
"Brendon, leave me alone," Bella yelled over her shoulder as she took refuge in the dressing room. She locked the door and slid down onto the floor hiding her face in her knees.
"Isabella, open it," he said coolly. She sat, not moving, still staring into her lap. "Bella," he hid the anxiety in his voice very well, but she still caught it.
"I just wanna talk Bella," he rested his head on the door sighing with frustration. "What's wrong Izzy?" Bella chuckled, a hollow, shallow laugh. She shook her head and stood up leaning on the opposite side of the door.
"Nothing's wrong Brenny." she emphasized his childhood nickname cruelly. Brendon flinched and slammed his fist against the door, causing it to shake in it's frame.
"Fuck it," and then he walked out of the hallway, leaving her alone.
"Gimme gimme more, gimme more, gimme gimme mooore."
"Damnit, sorry Ry." Roxy said reaching into her purse for her phone. Ryan raised an eyebrow at her ring tone. She flipped him off playfully and walked a couple of steps away. "Hello? Mom? What is it?" she held up her index finger and mouthed one sec to Ryan. He nodded as she walked out the back door to talk to her mom.
He seized the opportunity of her absence to go talk to Bella.
When he got to the black door, with the silver star as a background for the word Panic!, he knocked twice.
Bella had seated herself on the make-up counter, while she read a book. She looked up suddenly at the noise in the silence. She didn't reply, afraid that it might be Brendon again. She loved her brother, they had always been close. She hated yelling at him, mocking him. But she couldn't tell him why she was upset, and that really bothered her.
"Bella, it's me," Ryan's soft voice wafted through the cracks in the door, startling her. She hesitated before hurrying to the door to unlock it. Bella swung the door open and stalked away from her boyfriend.
"Bella," Ryan murmured. She knew by his voice that he was biting his lip. "Come on. What's wrong?"
She freaked out, spinning around, her arms flying in the air. "What's wrong? It's like you think you have total control over me! Like, it feels like I can't even ask where Jon is! He's my fucking friend Ryan, I'm not in love with him! I don't see why you have to be so fucking protective of me!" She huffed and seated herself back on the counter.
Ryan raised his right eyebrow, taking a tentative step towards her. "I'm sorry Bell. You know I get jealous easily, and I have a feeling that Jon likes you more than everyone knows..." he let his sentence trail off, looking anywhere but her face. He wasn't really lying, he did think Jon liked her too much, but at the same time thought it was absurd.
Bella didn't answer, but crossed her arms tightly over her chest and her legs under her. Ryan sighed and walked over to her, placing his hands on her thighs, looking into her deep brown eyes. He just stared at her beautiful face, waiting for her to say something.
"I don't see why we can't go public Ryan," she finally said, her voice trembling.
"Isabella," Ryan started, brushing a stray hair away from her eyes. "You know why. The media, the journalists, they would all attack you with questions. 'Are you two living together?', 'What does your brother think about this Bella?', 'Is he good in bed?'." Ryan shook his head. "They would tear us apart. I know they would. They've done it to every other couple out there."
Bella bit the inside of her lip, and forced herself to stare back at Ryan. She jerked her head, hating to listen to his logic.
"Are you still mad at me?" Ryan asked, his voice low, quiet. "I hate it when you're mad at me."
Bella looked away. "Yes."
He removed his hands from her thighs and cupped her face. Turning her head ever so softly back to his, he leaned in and pecked her lips once. "Now?"
"Yes," but her voice wasn't so sure anymore. He kissed her again, a little bit harder this time.
"Now?"
"Maybe," she replied, her heart starting to beat faster. He kissed her a final time, lingering longer than he had before.
"Now?"
"No," she whispered, uncrossing her arms and wrapping them around his neck, pulling him closer. His lips touched her's again, and she felt right at home. She couldn't count how many times they had kissed, yet every time was always as good at the first one.
He pulled away, much too soon for her liking. He picked up the book she had been reading, smiling at the title. "This book is amazing," he said. "I really like the main character." Bella laughed, and grabbed the book from him.
"You only like her because she has my name," Bella accused jokingly. "But personally I like Edward the best."
"Only because he's everything you want," Ryan muttered, his smile fading from his face. "I only wish I could be everything you wanted..." Now this, this wasn't a lie. Ryan liked Bella so much it hurt. But he knew that she could do much, much better than him.
Bella sighed. "Ryan," she said, a faint blush creeping onto her cheeks. "Edward is everything I want. But you're my Edward." He looked straight into her eyes and saw that it was the truth. He gently pried her fingers from the book and pulled her closer.
"You're my everything," Ryan said in a hushed tone. Bella stiffed and tried to pull away. He wouldn't let her.
"You're lying," Bella asked it like a question, unsure of herself.
"No, I'm not," Ryan admitted, taking a breath to say more. Before he could, however, a shout of laughter came from right outside the door. Ryan jumped away from Bella, quickly hurrying over to the other side of the room. Bella opened her book at a random page and started to read, trying to get her heartbeat to go back to normal.
The door flew open and Brendon and Jon waltzed in, laughing. But something was wrong; Brendon's smile did not reach his eyes. He spotted Ryan before Bella. As he glanced from his best friend, to his sister, a look of sudden awareness hit his face.
"Bell?" Brendon asked, not looking his sister in the face. "Can I talk to you...privately, please?"
Bella nodded, before realizing he couldn't see her. "Sure," she followed him outside, quietly shutting the door behind her.
"Uh," Brendon started, not really sure on how to ask what he wanted to know.
"I'm sorry," Bella said suddenly. "I shouldn't have yelled at you, I know you just want to help me..." Brendon smiled gratefully and hugged her.
"You still don't want to tell me what's wrong?" Brendon guessed. "And don't tell me nothing is wrong, because I've known you for the whole seventeen years you've been alive, okay? We're like twins."
Bella avoided his question. "I know. We used to do everything together, right Isabrendon?" Brendon burst out laughing.
"You haven't called me that one in a while," Brendon said, still laughing. "But you didn't answer my question."
"Uh, how about I tell you later?" Bella said, almost pleadingly. "Nobody's supposed to know, not even you. But I want to tell you. So, later, at home, or something. Tomorrow?"
Brendon narrowed his eyes. "What is this about? Are you in some sort of trouble or something? Should I be worried? Does Ryan know? Should he know? He's one of your best friends too, you've known him for years. He's like an older brother to you."
"No," Bella answered quickly, her heart racing. "Nobody is supposed to know Brendon. So no, Ryan doesn't know anything," her lie rolled off her tongue too quickly.
"Okay," Brendon let the subject drop. "We should go back, Ryan and I have to start warming up."
"You and Ryan?" Bella asked, confused.
"Yeah, he's singing with me tonight." Bella's eye's widened. Ryan always sang to her when they were together. And when he did, her heart did a dance, or stopped beating. She could never figure out which one. Brendon didn't notice her sudden silence and pulled her back into the room.
"Okay, somebody get the guitars!" he exclaimed. Jon jogged out of the room and came back with two guitars and his own bass. He handed Ryan's guitar to him and Brendon's to him. Ryan struck a chord and the other two started to play. Bella recognized it as her favourite song, and Ryan knew full well it was.
"Well, she's not bleeding on the ballroom floor, just for the attention...cause that's just ridiculously on. Well, she sure is gonna get it," Ryan and Brendon kept singing, their voices matched perfectly with each other's. Bella wanted to stay and listen, but she felt like every word Ryan sang was directed at her.
She couldn't take it anymore, she sprang off the counter and bounded from the room. The door slammed like an earthquake. But that didn't stop their singing. She could hear them as she tore away from the room, trying to find somewhere private, where she could organize her thoughts.
"What do you mean he's gone?" Roxy said, stepping into the bright sunlight and sitting on the curb beside her car.
"He was outside barbecuing for me and I went to get my food and he was gone! And so was my food!" Roxy rolled her eyes and smirked.
"Did you call him?" Roxy asked.
"He's not answering his sidekick!" her mom whined. Roxy narrowed her eyes. Spencer always answered his phone, and when he didn't...well, it wasn't good.
"I think I know where he is..." She said slowly. "I'll go look for him now." She hopped up, fishing her keys out of her pocket. She unlocked her car door and started the engine, swearing internally at her brother. She backed out of the parking lot, going faster than the law allowed.
swear to listen.
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