"Christine, what are you doing up late baby?" He questioned, with a shakiness in his tone. The blurriness drifted, causing me to pause when I looked at him. His face didnt contain the same glow, the frequent sparkle in his eyes when he looked at me. Every happy thing in his eyes or face, gone.
"G...Gerard? Honey, whats wrong?" I stuttered examining him more.
"Noth...nothing. Just, uhm tired." He was quick to answer, biting his bottom lip. Gerard refused to make eye contact, which felt like claws ripping through my heart. I wanted to calm the awkwardness that crept into the room. "Okay.." I whispered, sitting on the couch. I wanted to burst into tears, but held back.
Did I do something wrong?
Gerard soon followed after throwing his coat on a hanger. He sat down next to me, but it seemed uneasy. I flipped through the channels, hoping for something that could occupy my panic. Before tonight, Gerard would hold me in his arms, giving me tiny kisses on my neck. Gerard seemed to inch away every time I glanced over tonight though. The rim of my eyelids became wet, and I could feel the sudden feeling to cry out in emotion. I looked over at him, no emotion shown.
I sat up, tears braking the barrier of my eyes. "Okay.. FINE!" I stammered, moving past him.
"Christine... please. We need to talk." He grabbed my arm before I continued off. I swung around glaring at him with fury.
"Talk?" I shot at him, my face burning with anger.
"Just, come sit down." He guided me back to the couch, holding my hand. I felt the same uneasy feeling consume my thoughts. His eyes began to water, his hands began to tremble. "Frank took me to this place he has heard about. We knew before hand that it was a bar. But when we arrived and got seated, Frank noticed the topless girls dancing around. I wanted to leave but how could I if Frank was the one who drove?" He gulped, making himself look at me before continuing.
"I refused to look over, cause my love for you was to strong to deceive it. I ordered a drink, a coke to be exact. But the bartender mixed up my drink." His eyes told complete sorrow, and no words could come to comfort him. He had promised me never to drink, and never to be near a bar. My heart seemed to break as I store blankly at him. "What else?" I spoke softly, unaware on what else to say. Fear struck Gerard's face. He was hurting, but so was I. After sighing, he spoke once again. "Christine, I cheated on you. I made out with one of the strippers." The words hit my like bricks. No words could express how I was feeling. Tears pooled in my eyes before running over my eyelid. I ripped my hand from his. "I thought you loved me, Gerard. You leave me for months and come back to cheat on me?" I screamed in his face after he stood facing me. Gerard could say nothing back for he knew nothing could make it better. I slapped Gerard's face, while he just took the pain.
"I've been more than faithful to you Gerard. I've never once even thought about cheating on you. Because I love you that much. But apparently it's not good enough."
"But it is. I love you Christine." I sent him a glare in reply.
"Did last night meaning nothing?" My lips trembled before holding my head in my hands. I headed towards the bedroom, pulling out a suitcase.
"Christine, listen to me. I love you and only you. I made a mistake and trust me. I would take it back for anything. But please dont leave." He stood in the doorway, with tears rolling down his face. I looked at him with blotchy eyes, his haunting face inside my mind. "Chrissy, please. I'm sorry." Gerard gripped my wrist weakly. His voice was full of guilt. He kept his gaze on me, my brown eyes hidden behind my eyelids. I wanted so much to forgive him, but I just couldnt.
"Gerard, I thought you loved me. And of course, right before Christmas. Thanks for the gift." I laughed sarcastically, choking on tears. I rushed past him, refusing to look at his face. "Here." Before now, I was so excited to give this to him, now it meant nothing. "Here's your gift, I thought it meant something. Now, I dont care. Merry Fucking Christmas." I glanced, catching his gaze. I looked away, more tears producing. I slammed the door shut, walking out on Gerard.
......
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-amanda
