Fudgesicles!
Memo: This one-shot is for Bob, since she's probably cooler than your mom. That, and Bert loves her.
"Gaah! Fudgesicles!" Erin yelled as she whacked her head on the top of Quinn's kitchen cabinet. She had been searching it for Snickers that he said would be in there. Liar.
"Erin, could ya get the door?!" Quinn shouted from the living room where he was probably playing some video game.
"Yeah, yeah..." Erin walked down the hall towards the front door, mumbling about how she go all crazy ninja on whoever rang the doorbell, before pulling it open.
Before properly registering who was at the door, she shouted back to Quinn, "Hey Quinn, get your butt over here! Your strippers have arrived!"
She looked back at the three guys standing there with a large grin. They looked back at her with shocked expressions. Her grin slowly turned into a look of dawning realization. Before she could react to the now apparent familiarity of them, Erin was violently tackled into a hug by the closest of the three boys.
"Holy crap! It's Erin!"
"Jeph! Where the hell have you guys been, you stupid turd-faces?!"
"What do you mean, where have we been? You, Miss Erin, are the one who ditched us!" exclaimed Dan from behind Jepha. Erin gasped overdramatically and clapped her hand to her open mouth.
"I didn't ditch you guys! I would never do such a thing! How could you even suggest I would do something so cruel! I am offended! I was forced to leave my beloved home; I was dragged all the way to my new house, against my will! And after all that I was–"
"Still quite the drama queen, I see," said the last of the three guys, smirking. Erin scoffed.
"Still quite the butt crack, huh Bert?" they just stood, glaring at each other for a moment, before Bert's serious face broke into a grin and he spread his arms for a hug.
"Come here, I've missed you," Erin obliged, sinking into the embrace.
"And I missed you too, Robert," he laughed and just hugged her tighter.
"I see that you two still refuse to confess that you're madly in love with each other," Quinn stated smugly while Erin and Bert sent him equally intimidating death glares, the general message being to stuff it.
"Oh, come on! You both know that you're completely infatuated with each other and you totally wanna go jump each others' bones while nobody's looking and like sneak off into some dark closet, suck faces for hours and hours and hours, then rip each others' clothes off and have hot, hot, kinky--" Jeph's rant was cut off by Bert before he could get too carried away.
"Holy crap Jeph, go play in traffic," said Bert loudly, rolling his eyes, causing everybody except Jepha, who stuck his tongue out, to laugh.
"Oh my god guys! You know what we haven't done since forever?!" Quinn yelled, out of the blue, causing Dan, who was closest, to wince.
"What haven't we done 'since forever,'" asked Dan in a monotone, rolling his eyes.
"Played hide and seek!" there was a chorus of, 'Oh god' and the like, "Aww, c'mon guys! It'll be fun!" In the end, much to Quinn's delight, they all grudgingly agreed.
"I vote Erin's it!" exclaimed Jeph.
"What? Why?!"
"Because, Ms. Er-in, you ditched us!" he stated, poking her in the arm. She huffed and agreed.
After counting to forty and restarting numerous times because Jeph's hiding spot was 'jacked,' Erin finally began her search for the guys. For a second, she contemplated watching a movie and letting them hide for a couple hours, but then remembered it was four-on-one and they could take her out.
Needless to say, they weren't very good at this whole 'hiding' thing. Erin could hear voices and crashing coming from upstairs, probably Jepha and Quinn, and shuffling from the kitchen; Dan was probably still looking for a hiding place. So, just to be nice, Erin continued searching the first floor as if she had no idea where all of their hiding spots were.
Slowly making her way to the stairs, Erin pulled open a closet door and looked in, pretending to search. Just as she was turning away from the open closet doors though, she felt a hand around her wrist pulling her quickly into the closet. Erin nearly lost her balance, but bumped, with a soft thud, against something... or someone.
"...Bert?" she asked, rather loudly.
"Sshh; you'll give away my hiding place," he whispered. Erin was about to agree in understanding, when she remembered that she was the one who was supposed to be 'seeking.'
Erin opened her mouth to point this out, but he just placed a hand over her mouth and 'sshh'-ed her again. She rolled her eyes and mumbled from behind his hand.
"Bert, you're ridiculous," he just smiled and nodded in agreement. Suddenly, his smile fell and he became serious, his hand moving away from Erin's mouth.
"You know, I really missed you after you left," he said, looking at her intently.
"Yeah, I really missed you too."
He sighed, "No, I really missed you."
"Yeah.. I really missed you too," Erin said, not knowing what he was getting at.
"No," he sighed again, "I don't think you know what I mean."
Once again, Erin opened her mouth to speak, and once again she couldn't. But, this time, it wasn't because he had covered her mouth. Well, he had. But not with his hand, if you know what I mean.
After being sufficiently in shock for a couple of moments, Erin placed her hands on the back of his neck, deepening the kiss, and his hands slipped down to her waist. A second later the door flew open
"Hey Bert! Erin hasn't fou-" Jepha was frozen in his place, "Oh my god! Ahh! My eyes! I'm scarred for life!" Hearing Jeph's shouts of agony, Dan and Quinn came running to where he was standing.
"What are you yelling about?" Dan asked, seeing as there wasn't anything there except a closet containing two people staring at anything except each other.
"Agghhh! My virgin eyes!"
"What is it Jeph?!" Quinn exclaimed in exasperation.
"They were having hot, hot kinky sex in your closet! And I so called that!" he explained, using lots of hand gestures, and finishing off with an exaggerated gagging noise. Quinn gasped extremely loudly, followed by a childish 'eew!'
