-1-Calm My Tears and Kill These Fears-Jeremy Davis-

Jeremy knew people would probably start coming over in a few minutes to make sure he wasn't dead.
The green of the grass reminded him of the ridiculously huge emerald earrings she wore yesterday as a joke. He took in a breath, enjoying the damp earth; it was unlike the usual smells: sweat, hair gel, beer, smoke. He turned onto his back, hands behind his head. His hat toppled off, but he didnt adjust it. The weather was perfect, bright, cloudless, but with a cool breeze. The blue sky was the precise shade of her eyes. He squeezed his eyes shut, willing her out of his head. Why did every little thing remind him of her?
He had predicted correctly; someone was coming, he heard their footsteps crushing the grass. He didn't bother opening his eyes; he already knew who it was. Sabrina always showed up at moment when he was thinking of her. She sat down beside him, as quiet as a deer. He suddenly yelped as she stuck a piece of grass up his nose.
He sneezed violently, then mock-glared at her. She laughed and stuck her tongue out. He loved the sound of her laugh; it was like the tinkling of a bell when the door to a store was opened.
He brushed the back of his hair flat with his hand, and reached for his hat. She was too quick; she snatched it up and shoved it unto her head. Normally, Jeremy would have yelled, but with her, he could never get angry, who yelled at a deer?
Sabrina was like a doe, all willowy and slight. Her fair hair sucked in all sunlight, making it seem blonder than it was. Her eyes were wide with dark lashes, and mouth, red and wide, perfectly curved. She was also like a deer in the way that if Jeremy pursued her, she ran away.
She had been on Warped Tour with them for a month now. One of Hayley's friend's had come to sell merch, but had to leave because she got mono, or Gonorrhea, or broke her arm or something. Jeremy didn't care; the point was that Sabrina was here now. He only had two weeks left with her, before she went back to California.
He had never met her before, although she was Josh and Zac's cousin. She was only nineteen, but everyone seemed to be younger than Jeremy. And she had a boyfriend.
"How'd you find me out here?" Jeremy asked, squinting at her, the sun in his eyes.
"Sorry to break it to you, but I could see you from the bus," she giggled.
"Is anyone else up?"
"Yeah, someone was playing guitar hero, so they'll all be up soon," she shrugged. It was a Monday, a day off, at ten in the morning, and most people will catching up on sleep before beginning another night of partying. Jeremy was sick of all the people pressuring him to party and "have fun" with them. Getting drunk and sleeping with the first girl with a short skirt on was not his idea of funanymore. There was only one girl he wanted to be around, anyway.
He looked up at her, her light hair fluttered in the wind. She squinted into the distance. She was getting freckles from the sun to match Jeremy's.
Something buzzed in his ear and Sabrina stood up, pulling a cell phone out of her pocket. She pulled his hat off, and dropped it on his torso. "One sec," she said flippantly to Jeremy before shrieking "Chad!" in the phone. He watched her walked a little ways, chattering. He sat up, cross legged. She stopped talking abruptly. Her expression went from pleased to troubled. She glanced over at Jeremy, then away quickly. She hung up and shoved the phone back into her jeans. She slowly came back over to Jeremy.
She sat down, knees to her chest, a far away look in her blue eyes.
"Is everything okay?" Jeremy asked, concerned. Josh had told him that he boyfriend was a prick, and didn't want her to go on tour.
"Oh yeah," she answered brightly, smiling. It wasn't a real smile.
"That was your boyfriend, right?"
"Yes, uh Chad." she mumbled.
"Are you sure everything's okay?" Jeremy pressed, touching her on the shoulder. She flinched, and Jeremy felt like she had shot an arrow through his chest.
"Yes." She replied sharply, standing up again. "I should go make sure I have everything packed up, see you later." She left hurriedly, but Jeremy had seen her the night before, re-checking the boxes of merch. He wondered what he was supposed to do, he wasn't being overly friendly, he didnt think. He learned from the first time.
That first week Sabrina arrived, Jeremy was definitely attracted. She was timid, though, and quiet. He was there to show her everything, and introduce her to some of the other bands on Warped. He learned that although she was quiet, she had a silly sense of humour that helped her get along with most guys. Nevertheless, Jeremy had made it clear that no other guys could come near her.
That Friday, she had been there for six days and Jeremy had been restless all week. His band was all in their bus, playing poker, but he couldn't sit still. Some guys were getting together a few buses over, and he made his way over there, following the sound of an acoustic guitar. They were surprised to see him there, but welcomed him. He wanted to have some fun, and went along with what they were doing. He was drunk within the hour.
By the time he has stumbled his way back to his bus, he had lost a shoe and was having a hard time grabbing the door handle, it kept on spinning. Soon, he gave up, and slumped against the side on the bus, and fell asleep.
He woke up with the sound of Sabrina saying his name softly. He opened one eye, and saw her standing in front of him. Her blond hair fell loosely and she wore a white tank top. She seemed to give off light, a glow, like a star that fell from the dark sky.
"Is this your shoe?" she asked, cocking her head to the side. It was, but even if it wasn't he would have said yes. She dropped it on the ground beside him. He struggled to stand up, so she grabbed his arm to help him. They stood close together, and she didn't back up. He grinned at her and ran his fingertips down the back of her arm. She shivered and blinked her wide ocean eyes.
"I don't know, Jeremy," she whispered. She stepped back, but he stepped forward.
"Sabrina," he murmured. His new found confidence had definitely come from a tin can with a Heineken label.
"Yes, Jeremy?" she breathed. He kissed her then, sweetly, at first, then roughly, and she broke away from him. "I have a boyfriend," she had said, and pushed past him and pulled open the bus door, leaving him woozy, with bright spots of light in his eyes. He wasn't entirely sure if this had actually happened, or if very realistic woodland fairies who kissed you were a part of getting smashed.
For the next two weeks, she said nothing to him. He didn't bother her, thinking that if she wasn't interested, then he could just ignore her too. But he couldn't. That's when he admitted what happened to Josh.
Josh wasn't surprised when Jeremy told him that he liked her, he said it was obvious.
To him, anyway. He said her boyfriend in California was an ass who nearly broke up with her for going on tour. Jeremy secretly thought that he had every right to be mad, he would be too. Send a pretty girl to live with raucous, horny men for a few months? She's bound to get hit on more than a few times.
One month later, Jeremy had finally been able to become friends with her. She still hadn't said a word to him about Jeremy's one night of drunken lechery.
A few minutes after Sabrina had left so hastily, he got up and leisurely dragged his feet back to the bus. He could already hear some male voices screeching at each other. Soon the empty field would be filled with an impromptu game of baseball or dodgeball, and would be muddied up.
He would have liked to stay in field, the present grassy one, forever with Sabrina, and when they got tired of that, they could wander far away from the exhaust of the buses and trailers, up to that bushy forest grove he could see. Maybe even walk far enough to find those mountains in the distance, and climb up together. They could sleep in a cave and live off acorns and walk around naked. He shook his head, laughing in himself, tour did this to him.
Back in the bus, Jeremy found Josh sitting at the table on his Mac. He grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and twisted the cap off. He sat down beside Josh and took a gulp of water.
"Who are you talking to, your mom?" Jeremy joked.
"That's Mrs. Farro to you, fool." Josh answered, making a face and closing his laptop. "What were you doing out there anyway? Mooning over Sabrina again?" He asked, laughing. Jeremy grumbled in response. "Just let her come to you, man. Actually, she's my cousin so, stay away from her! Wait, I'd rather have you date her then that Chad dude."
"I think she and him are fighting," Jeremy mumbled, biting his lip.
"Yeah, I know. I feel bad about that. They were supposed to go to Hawaii or something, but then we asked her to come here first. I don't feel that bad though. He's a jerk, and family first, right?"
"Right," Jeremy responded firmly, but his mind was elsewhere. Elsewhere always meant Sabrina.


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