So, by VERY popular request, I've got yet another HP parody... It was long and hard that I thought about how I was going to write this one, but thanks to some ideas that came to me in a message (thanks 20251!) and some genuine, redneck ingenuity, I have finally come up with my HP parody! Sorry for such a long time that you had to wait for me to update. I was feeling Uber lazy and had a severe attack of wanting to talk like a German (because of Jan Ullrich on the Tour De France - I think that name is wicked awesome, although like the millions of other Americans watching, I'm rooting for Lance) and so I could not post, because I cannot spell that accent. Now I am back to being a Redneck Nazi Geek. That reminds me, I went to a pool party with some of my Redneck Nazi friends last week on Wednesday... We did Nazi salutes and sang Dixie. Ok, enough about that (which, by the way, will be very usefull on my "How Well Do you Know Me?" quiz). Now, ON TO PARRY DOTTER AND THE PORCELAIN'S CLONE!!!
Huzzah!
A PArRy DoTtEr anD ThE PORcELaIN'S cLOnE StORy - THrOuGH tHE eYes Of aN aMErICAn WiTcH!?! - PaRT 70 - ThE LasT oNe! (?)
So, unbeknownst to Parry, your boyfriend, you had followed him through the halls down to the girls bathroom on the non-existent 19th floor (Hmmm... doesn't this sound like another book I know?)
And as you followed Parry, in his cape of Lesser Visibility, you came upon.... Leif! The evil Viking teacher of Lotions you had, head of the House of the Evil Snake Thingys. You had to distract Leif, from seeing Harry in the Cape of Lesser Visiblity. OMG!!! Armstrong is making a breakaway!!! Hmmm... Sorry...
So, you ran around in the hall, screaming at the top of your lungs, "OOOHGABOOGASNOOGIEDOOF!!!" and Leif didn't even pay attention. You went by him, and saw he was crying. "Darn them capital one credit cards!" he was wimpering. As you must know, Vikings and Barbarians are very weak to Capital One Credit cards.
So, you followed Parry into this weird dungeony place on floor 19 1/3, which makes no sense whatsoever to put the dungeons anywhere but beneath the basement... By the way, I almost have an uncle named Perry, but not quite. He's still got to get married... I'm not sure if that'll ever happen.
And inside the dungeony place, you saw Parry take off his cape... and he used the flashlight he was carrying to illuminate the room... when you were attacked by a man-eating John! (Voices: You are being sexist... a man-eating John! It should be wo/man-eating John!) Shut up, voice. That looks stupid. (Voices: I have been influencing you ever since the Yugi-oh parody!! MWAHAHAHA!!!) Okay. That's it. This is the last parody I'm letting you in on. (Voices: Damn you...)
Okay, so the wo/man-eating toilet came after you! And you rolled out of the way just in time.
"You porcelain fiend!" Parry Dotter said, his polka dot tie becoming tangled up as he turned around really fast in slow motion. He whipped out his whip, and cracked it at the John. The John made a flushing noise, as nasty water came spurting out. It hit Parry's hair!
"NO!!! NOT THE DO!!!" Parry screamed. He fell down onto the floor, and went into a fetal position. You, feeling hopelessly dead or something like that, began to search your mind for things that toilets were weak to. "Hey, don't you remember that story I told you about the catfight that my teacher told us about?" I said.
"Voices?! GO AWAY!" you yelled.
"What the hell!? This time, I TRY to help my characters, and still yet you hate me!" I said.
"Well, you blew up the person in the last HP parody! I don't want that to happen," You pleaded.
"Gosh. These derned parodies seem like they allways end in death. So, I'm trying to save your worthless hides as not to get stuck in a complete rut. So, you remember the catfight story?" I asked.
"Umm... No," you replied.
"YOU DON'T REMEMBER!? I DON'T HAVE THE FRIGGIN TIME TO TELL YOU!! JUST USE PARRY'S FRIGGIN HEAD AND BASH IT INTO THE BOWL!" I screamed at you, ordering you to do something.
"Huh?" you asked. There was then silence.
"I hate these stupid doormat characters..." I said. I then took from my own story, Forgotten Love, Joe Mason, and dropped him into the dungeon.
"How dare you defile your Forgotten Love story with Harry Potter quizzes?!" Joe Mason asked you.
"Well, save this girl or else that damned deal you made with the barber will once again inflict you," you said.
"Ah... what the hell," Joe said, before smashing a toilet with an explosion. "Can I go now? I hate these quizzes. Get me back in my own quiz!"
"Okay," I said. Joe Mason was poofed out of this quiz, and put back into the Forgotten Love Quizzes. You stood up, and ran over to Parry Dotter. Suddenly, a 2x4 fell down from the ceiling, and conked Parry on the head.
"Uh... Just say you cracked the toilet with his head," I said. "Goodbye. I'm SO leaving," I said.
"But Voice of the Narrator/Authoress, I owe you my life!" you shouted.
"Hell no, you don't. I'm just using you as a ploy to make people see how stupid these repeated quizzes are." And then, you cried over Parry Dotter, conked over the head by a 2x4.
Leif stepped inside. "What's in your wallet?" he asked. Then, he dragged you and Parry alongside his numchucks and spikey club outside, and to the hospital tent outside.
I'm sorry it couldn't be a hospital wing, but this quiz is on a very tight budget, and we could only afford a tent...
You passed out in the hospital wing.
When you woke up, Dumbasdirt was waiting right beside you. "That was very brave, what you did," he said, "Using Parry's head as something to fight of the man-eating John... wo/man-eating John."
"Thank you... but most of the credit should - "
"Go to Parry, I know, because he's the hero of the book, and women are soooo inferior in real society," Dumbasdirt comforted. But, with that last comment, I got really mad, and so I blew him to bits.
The End.
Ya! The End!
Ok... I tried to get this out at the 1:15 thing... but, it seems this took too long, as it is 1:24 right now. BUT LANCE IS BACK IN YELLOW!!! Arggh... ummm... hmm... Ok. Well, I just thought I'd put some really stupid stuff down here, play some games, and wait for the 2:15 to come along. Man this is boring.
Oh well, let's talk about insanity. For which of these reasons am I most likely Insane?
ILoveRodStewart's favorite Fairly Oddparents character is Jorgan VonStrangle, which is not tax deductible, sadly, to those IRS agents sneaking around behind me...
One of my best friends is a French-Canadian Lumberjack Pirate Geek.
My favorite teacher is a German descended person.
I like broccoli florets with cheese.
I have a complete obsession over being fat. I mean, come on, I'm 5'4" and 122.8 lbs!!
I am trying to take over the world, and make the Northern Hemisphere under my dictatorship, and the south Anarchy, and neither with IRS.
I am NOT paranoid about the IRS being everywhere...
I am very, very upset that I cannot imitate a Mafia accent.
I have an extreme power complex.
I enjoy doing laundry.
I make a crapload of answers, but there's only one result.
I am so NOT paranoid over the IRS... There you are!! Wait, no... a coathanger... he he...
I enjoy watching Bonanza, Dukes of Hazzard, the A-Team and Spongebob all at the same time.
Yah... porcelain... he he he....
Oh no, I am havings anover attack of de German accent... I must stop... can't... spell... accent... Anyvays, next time, expect a Pokemon Parody.
And oof anyvody can guess vhat the picture is, message me.
