Say you're sorry
That face of an angel comes out
Just when you need it to
As I pace back and forth all this time
'Cause I honestly believed in you
Holdin' on
The days drag on
Stupid girl,I should've known
I should've known
"I can't believe this.." I thought. Everything was perfect between us, he loved me and I loved him. Well.. I thought he loved me. As I sat there waiting for Randy to come home all the memories came back.
That I'm not a princess
This ain't a fairytale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood
This is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you and your white horse
To come around
1st Grade:
I had moved to a new school during my 1st grade year. It was my first day there and my class was outside for recess. "Are you sure you'll be okay?" my mom asked. "I'll be fine mommy." I told her. Yeah right. Everything was so different. I didn't know anybody there, and I was sure that no one would even notice me anyways. I just wished I would find somebody to be friends with. "If you're sure you'll be okay then I guess I'd better head to work." she told me. I gave her a hug and a kiss and wentoutside. Just as I thought. Nobody would even look at me, not once. So I decided to go sit on the sidewalk and draw with the chalk. I was busy drawing flowers, hearts, rainbows, all kinds of random things when I saw a shadow. I looked up and saw a little boy standing there. He had short brown hair with blueeyes,and he looked friendly. "Hi I'm Randy." he said. "I'm Alexis." I said. "Cool. I'm gonna call you Lexi! Wanna play a game?" he asked me. I smiled and said "Okay sure!" I got up and we played tag, hide and seek, and we also got on the swings. We basically did everything you could think of. We quickly became best friends after that day. I didn't care if he was my only friend, he was perfect.
Maybe I was naive
Got lost in your eyes and never really had a chance
My mistake I didn't know to be in love
You had to fight to have the upper hand
6th grade:
I was at Randy's 12th birthday party and he was opening his presents. "OOO, RANDY! Open mine next!" I said smiling. I handed him my gift. "Wanna help me open it?" he asked. I nodded and we ripped his present open. "Oh my god! It's exactly what I wanted!" he said holding up a limited edition WWF wrestling ring with Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant action figures. "Thank you thank you thank you Lexi! You're the best friend I could ever have!" he said hugging me. "You know I'm gonna marry you someday." he said laughing. I sort of blushed because I had acrush on him. "You are my best friend forever." he smiled as I smiled back.
I had so many dreams about you and me
Happy endings,
Now I know.
12th Grade:
Me and Randy were talking to each other on IM afterschool one day.
Randy: So how are things between you and David?
Me: Not so good.
Randy: What's wrong?! Do i need to kick his ass?
Me: maybe not kick his ass but you could talk to him. i found out that he was cheating on me with rachel...
Randy: what!... oh i'm going to do so muchmore then just talk to him tomorrow.
Me: no randy. you don't have to, i'll be fine. he's a jerk anyways.
Randy: you sure?
Me: yeah.
Randy: Okay good.
There was an awkward silence until Randy said something.
Randy: uhhh. so you're single, right????
Never thought he'd ask me that. But I replied anyway.
Randy: well.. i was wondering if you'd like to go out with me....
Me: i guess so. any reason why you wanna know?
I was a little shocked at first but then I smiled as I typed the word "yes" and hit 'Send'.
Randy: :)
That I'm not a princess
This ain't a fairytale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood
This is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you and your white horse
To come around
Now:
I didn't realize that tears were streaming down my cheeks until I snapped back into reality. I held onto my wedding ring and a piece of paper when I saw his headlights shine through the window. I tried to dry my tears and stop crying. Thoughts were racing through my mind as I heard him walking towards the door. How do I say this? What happens after? Is it really over? He walked in and said "Hey babe." he came over and kissed me on the cheek. I smiled lightly and he threw his keys on the counter, then sat down beside me. I just sat there looking at the ground as tears filled my eyes once again. "Are you okay?" he asked.
And there you are on your knees
Beggin' for forgivness
Beggin' for me
Just like I always wanted but I'm so sorry
I might aswell get this over with I thought. "Why? Why would you do this to me?" I told him, crying even more. "Why would I do what?" he asked nervously. She knows... he thought. "Don't be stupid Randy. You know what you did. You just had to go and sleep with that Samantha didn't you." you told him. He started to say something but you cut him off. "...She just happened to be where you were wrestling at and you decided since I wasn't there you'd get some from her right?" He just looked down at his feet. "I knew I could never trust you out on the road. John was right, you are a player. After the 25 years we've known each other and the 8 years we've been together! And you go and ruin it all. You told me you'd marry me someday, and now that you finally have you go and sleep with another woman?!" I yelled. "It's not like that at all Lexi..." he said. Why did I make this stupid mistake? "Then what is it like Randy? Tell me. What was it like being in bed with her when you have a wife back at home. Did you not even think about me or my feelings?" he just kept looking down. I knew the answer; he didn't even think once about me.
Cause I'm not your princess
This ain't a fairytale
I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually
Treat me well
He looked up and the first thing he noticed was my bags. I saw a tear fall down his cheek which made me cry even harder. I hated that I was hurting him but it was for the best since he hurt me. I finally told him what I thought I'd never have to say. "I'm DONE!" He still didn't say anything so I got up, grabbed my bags and started out the door. He got up and ran over to me gently grabbing my arm. I turned around and he was crying his eyes out by then, and Randy never cries. "Please don't do this to me. I love you. I need you. I made a mistake." he pleaded. "You're damn right about that." I said letting go of his grip and slamming the door in his face. Randy walked away from the door and sat down on the couch. He was taking in what had just happened when he noticed my wedding ring and a note laying beside him. He picked it up and more and more tears fell as he read the note. It said:
Even though my heart is telling me to stay, my self-respect is telling me to walk away. I can't do this. I can't be with you if you're going to be gone all the time. After the mistake you made I can't even trust you to be in the backyard by yourself. I know this is going to make us both hurt and cry. And thinking about hurting you is tearing me up inside. But what choice do I have Randy? You hurt me. Bad. You wrecked everything we had. It's over now, and probably for good. I will always love you... but I just can't be with you. Love, Lexi.
He held the ring and the note close to him as his heart ripped in half.
I got in the car and before I even started it I noticed a picture of me and Randy at our wedding sitting on the dashboard. I literally broke down. I had never hurt so much before. It took me a while but I finally started the car. "It's finally over..." I said to myself as I looked at the house and the love of my life that I'd never see again.
This is a big world
That was a small town
There in my rear view mirror disappearin' now
Now it's too late for you and your white horse
Now it's too late for you and your white horse
To catch me now.....
