ADVENTURES OF R.A. (R.A sets off for london)

"WAKE UP R.A! FOR THE LAST TIME, YOUR GONNA BE LATE FOR THE AIRPORT!" AuntiJi shouted from the bottom of the stairs in her unmistakably Rajastani accent.
" I'm waking up AuntiJi!" Robert John Stuart Ali Uddin Ahmed Gabby Barker called back. His favourite names were Robert and Ahmed so he was known as R.A. He was a 14 year old boy who looked about 30. He had burgundy skin and unwashed greasy hair of the frizzy type. He tried to get his head offf the pillow and thought to himself 'not again!' The pillow was stuck to the grease on his head.
Suddenly the door was blasted open by a large dark baffoon. Uncle Mas Zee Zeinab Ali Matha Khali Barker stormed in and before R.A could react his duvet had been pulled off with such force that it ripped. R.A gave a little whimper, he knew what was coming.
'WOT HEB I TOLD U EBOUT SLEEPING NAKED ROBART?' he bellowed in his bad accent. 'WOT IF OUR SERBENT NUR ALI GOKSLAN GOK WAN MAKNAMARA FISHHEAD JOSH MITCHELL HED COM IN DE ROOM END SEEN UR UPPER THIGH?'
'Uncle Mas Zee Zeinab Ali Matha Khali, all the boys in Delhi are doing it, not to mention the white boys in London, dont you want me to be like them?'
'Ob cowrrse but farst u shud eat bekfasht befowre u set off fowr london, who know wot shit dey feed u there?'. With that, Uncle Mas left the room. 'What a racist bastard' thought R.A. He never liked his uncle who was always telling him what to do. With a great effort, he got himself out of bed, got dressed into a citygroup t-shirt andorange leggingsand went down for breakfast with his favourite brown leather breifcase.
' Enjoy it, its your last proper meal,' AuntiJi said tearfully. 'Why your parents want you to live in London with them, I shall never know. We raised you as our good Indian boy! its not fiar!' she was crying properly and had to walk out of the kitchen.