I wanted to post up a little something as to my reasoning for a lot of stuff.. As you guys have noticed, I'm sure, I haven't updated my "Love: Return From The Dead(An Orochimaru Love Story) " in a long time. The reason being is that since I don't have any channels that play Naruto(or any animes.. Sci-Fi is the only thing that we have that plays anime) I don't get to catch up on anything. And there are a certain few episodes that I have to watch for this next part. And my friend, who owns every box set released in the U.S. doesn't have the episodes that I need.. He's a geek x] Anyways, that's why I haven't gotten that one updated in such a long time. But I'm trying to find the time when I'm on the computer to watch the episodes.
My to-do list is pretty large lately, but I'm cutting it down the best I can. My personal life has been crazy, so that's another reason for me not getting much done. It's all personal stuff, so I don't wanna say much about it. I'd rather just let you guys know that I'm having a lot of problems and stuff going on right now and hope that you guys understand, instead of just telling you, which would kill a lot of stuff and be cause for pity and junk. o.o I don't like pity x| I will tell you that I've gotten together with two guys lately and broken up with them quickly. One I still really like, my most recent ex. And I only broke up with him because I don't think that I can handle it right now. I mean, a lot has happened and I don't want anyone else getting hurt because of the way I am and certain things that I do. A lot of it bothers people, even though he and I made things clear enough between us about a lot of things... I don't care if someone accepts it or not, I jus' don't want them to hate me for all of it. Anyways, he was also a little too much of a worrying kinda guy. And until he can tone everything down, along with me being ready, we're gonna stay broken up. We're still friends, though, don't worry. We've talked and stuff. And so far he understands. Same goes for the one before him. That guy actually really liked a close friend of both of ours, but she's not really into him o.o So now he's all depressed and flirting and hitting on me.. And I'm hitting him. Heh.
Aside from all the relationship stuff, my family life has tensed up a lot. We've had to take care of my grandma for a week or so because she broke her elbow. She just broke her wrist not long ago too o.o She's been high off of all the drugs and stuff. And they needed our help in taking care of her and our great grandma, who we've really been worrying about lately.. She's made it past the age that my great grandaddy(her husband) died at. But she has alzheimer's. I really don't like being around her because it makes me want to cry... We all joke about it sometimes, but it really hurts to see her like that. She sometimes forgets that we've grown up so much. Even that we were born! Other days she's looking around for her husband, she even thinks she's little again.. She's said stuff like "I better hurry up or I'm gonna miss class. If I do that, my momma is gonna pop me." It's funny for a bit, but then you really think about it.. She's losing her memory, and it only continues to get worse. Midnight died, as I'm sure you've noticed in L:RFTD . That really took a lot out of me. And I got myself pretty sick, had tons of panic attacks(still do. They started after my great grandaddy died. They didn't happen as often until Midnight got sick. And they really started acting up after he died) , and I jus' lost interest in writing, drawing, everything. Especially my singing. But I've obviously gotten back on the train and I'm writing and drawing again. I'm slowly starting to sing again. And I'm laughing more every day. Still, though. Not a day goes by that I look out there at the garden(we buried him next to it. It was his favorite place) and I just think about him and wonder what would happen if he was here still.
I even slip out of the house sometimes and go out there and just sit next to where we buried him.. I know a lot of you are thinking something like this right now: "This girl is so stupid. He's a friggin' cat. Get over yourself, woman." Well, you've never had a pet if you're saying that, I'm sure.. After my great grandaddy died, I went practically crazy. And I shut myself away from everyone. But I had Midnight. And he was always there, loving on me and listening to me when I had problems. I have a much easier time talking to animals not just because I love them so much, but because they're not hypocritical. You always have to worry about what you're gonna say to a person, in fear that they'll get angry or upset or something. But with animals, they just love you and make you feel so much better. He gave me a will to live after my great grandaddy died... I sure hope none of you are taking this lightly, because I'm being serious.. My great grandaddy was my best friend, and I'd lost every other one before that. And I'm still losing them, obviously. I needed comfort, Midnight was there. My parents and my aunt did their best to be there for me, but I never really talked to anyone else about it aside from Midnight. I just couldn't handle talking to someone else, I still don't know why...
Anyways, sorry for that little depression session x[ Just thought I should explain myself a bit. I've been updating my "You Know Everything But My Love{Edward Elric}" story. So it's great to get plenty of progress in something. I just wanted to get things off of my chest, y'know? Didn't want you guys thinking I'd disappeared or that I'm like some other writers on here that just never finish another story. I intend to get every story finished. Unless I'm hit by a car and permanently put into a hospital bed, I should still be able to keep up. Heh... Even then, I'm sure I'd get a laptop o.o So only if I become brain damaged and in a coma. Yeh... e.e Thankies, readers! I'm glad you're still reading x] And I'm gonna be here forever :)
