[Chad Michael Murray] If we were a movie [#4: Have a little faith in me]

As I sat there half way the dune, my gaze went from the ocean to the stars. It was a clear and beautiful night and the sky was bright and sparkly. My ears caught the sound of the ocean again and I closed my eyes. I tried to concentrate on nothing but the sound of the sea, took a deep breath and tried to calm down.

“Come on Princess! The water is great. Come in here with me!” Chad said to me from the middle of the pool. “Nah, I don’t feel like swimming today.” I answered without looking up from the teen magazine I was reading. “Well if the mountain isn’t coming to Moses, then Moses will come to the mountain. I’m coming to get you!” Chad laughed while swimming to the side of the pool to get out.

“No, don’t! I’m not going into the water!” I yelled before jumping up and running away as fast as I could. “Oh yes you are!” Chad yelled back while coming out of the pool. I tried to run as fast as I could, but halfway down the lawn he tackled me.

He sat up on top of me and started tickling me. I try to wriggle from under him but he just firmly held me down with his legs. It was hard to say who was laughing harder, him or me. “Stop! Please stop, pretty boy!” I managed to get out in between laughs. “Only if you come in the pool with me, princess!” He answered teasingly. “Fine, fine, I’ll come into the pool. Now please stop tickling!” I gave in.

Or at least Chad thought I gave in. As soon as I was on my feet again I ran away further. Chad stood there mesmerised for a moment, but soon was running after me again. As he caught up with me for the second time he didn’t tackle me. Instead he threw me over his shoulder and started carrying me in the direction of the pool. I swung my legs up and down and hit him on the back with my fists but it was of no use. Soon we were standing at the side of the pool. Chad picked me from his shoulder and I thought he was going to put me down, but instead he just switched my position. He was now holding me bridal style and the smirk on his face predicted nothing good. “Hold on tight!” He said with a grin. And before I could even react, he jumped into the pool, taking me with him.

As I reached the surface again, he was waiting for me with a huge smile on his face. “You, you…” I started out, but I didn’t know what to say. So instead I splashed some water on his face. He just laughed out loud. “You want to play it that way? Game on!” He yelled before splashing my face. I laughed and we started splashing each other until I suddenly noticed my mom standing at the side of the pool with a huge smile on her face and a camera and one Polaroid in her hands. “Mom, how long have you been standing there?” I asked in surprise. “Long enough to see that you are having fun. Now that I finally have your attention, come over here for a moment. I took this adorable picture of you guys!” She answered, still smiling. I noticed Chad flinch at the word adorable, but he still followed me as I started swimming towards my mom.

As my mom kneeled down to show us the Polaroid, Chad placed his arms at both sides of me. I felt his head rest on my shoulder as I looked at the picture. It showed Chad standing at the edge of the pool, ready to jump in. He was carrying me bridal style and one of my arms was firmly placed around his neck. We both had huge smiles on our faces, as if we were having the time of our life. “Aww, that’s so sweet!” I laughed. “What would you expect? It’s us after all!” Chad answered with a grin.

As my mom walked away to show the picture to my dad, I turned around in Chad’s arms to face him. “I love you pretty boy. Friends forever, right?” I asked him. “Nope, not friends forever.” He answered. “What?” I asked in surprise. He smiled at my confusion. “Best friends forever!” He screamed out. “And just for the record, I love you too Princess!” He added in a whisper. My smile reappeared and I hugged him for a moment, before yelling “Revenge!” and pulling him under water with me.

As the sound of the sea reminded me of that day, a sad smile appeared on my face. I was twelve at that time and Chad eighteen. It was the last summer he spent at my parent’s house and the memory used to make me smile. Before Chad left that summer, he bought me this beautiful wooden frame where he placed the Polaroid in. The frame had been on my night stand ever since. It was the first thing I unpacked when I moved into my college dorm room and it was the last thing I would look at at night before going to sleep. It reminded me of all the nice times Chad and I had together and no matter how far away he was, when I looked at the picture I knew Chad would always be watching over me.

I sighed. I had really hoped that the sound of the sea would calm me down, but it clearly didn’t. The memory only made my eyes watery again and I yelled in frustration. “Why do you have to make everything so difficult?” “I didn’t mean to!” a voice said from behind me and I felt two arms wrap around me and pull me into someone’s lap. Chad’s voice sent shivers through my spine, but they weren’t the good kind. I tried to get up and struggled to get out of his arms, but Chad kept holding me tight. “I’m not letting you go. I need you to listen to me!” he whispered in my ear.

I managed to turn around in his arms and looked in his eyes. “To what? I don’t feel like listening to you telling how you found the perfect girl tonight. And don’t even try to tell me you don’t know what I’m talking about, cause I saw you with that blonde bimbo! I don’t even get why you are here, you were all over her!” I spat at him. He looked at me in surprise for a moment before smiling. “You don’t get it, do you?” he said with a laughing undertone in his voice. The moment the words came out he seemed to realise that he had made a mistake by laughing, but it was already to late. “Apparently not! And I don’t want to hear your explanation either! Now let go of me!” I was practically screaming by now.

I struggled again to get out of Chad arms, but he only tightened his grip on me and held me down in his lap firmly. He started talking again in a soft, loving tone. A tone that, no matter how hard I tried to buzz it out, I couldn’t help but listen to. “Like I said, I’m not letting you go, I need you to listen to me.” He didn’t even wait for my answer but just continued. “I know I hurt you by flirting with that girl. I shouldn’t have done that, I don’t even like her or know her that well. I know I have been acting stupid. If I knew Ty would be here and he was planning on letting you hear the song I would have never done it. But I didn’t know he was in town and I… I wanted to make you jealous. I mean, we haven’t talked about what happened last summer and things were feeling awkward and… I just wanted to know how you felt about it. But I was scared to talk to you, scared of getting hurt if I had to talk to you face to face. So I flirted with that girl to see if you would be jealous. It’s stupid and I’m a coward, I know and I’m sorry.”

By now I had given up the struggle. I was leaning backwards into his chest and my head was resting on his shoulder. I had calmed down a bit but tears were streaming down my face again. I tried to speak but I couldn’t. Part of me wanted to yell at him again, for being a complete idiot and a stupid asshole. But a much bigger part of me wanted to speak up and tell him how I really felt. But I couldn’t. I didn’t know how to say how much he means to me. So instead I tried to stop myself from crying and tried to stop the thoughts that were racing through my mind.

While we sat there in silence I could feel Chad resting his head on my shoulder. His breathing tickled my neck and despite everything, I felt shivers go through my spine again and this time they didn’t feel wrong. I closed my eyes for a moment and then I felt that Chad’s breath tickling my ear. I was finally about to open my mouth when he started to whisper-sing into my ear.

And I didn't mean to meet you then
we were just kids
And I didn't mean to give you chills
the way that I kiss
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back but I hope you did

Graduated fool, that is what I am
For every time I’ve failed you
Cause you’re so beautiful
I just turned an walked away
I jingle with words, tangle my tongue
Stammering stutters
So I wrote you that song to finally tell you
What you’ve known all along: I love you

When he whispered those last three words I felt all my worries melt away. All my insecurities disappeared when I heard the sincerity in his voice. I sat up and turned to look at him. “I love you too” I whispered back to him. The words were barely audible but I knew he had heard me when I saw a beautiful smile appear on his face.

I stared into his eyes and I suddenly noticed he was leaning into me. Surprised of my own courage, I met him halfway. When our lips touched, it made feel that I had been missing something all these years and I was finally complete now. Sparks went through my body like electricity and I felt as if I could go feeling lightheaded any moment. The shivers that ran down my spine were definitely the good kind this time. After a few minutes Chad started nibbling my lower lip and was awarded by a moan. I felt his smile grow even wider and his tongue started exploring my mouth. When we finally parted we were both catching our breaths. I looked at Chad again and smiled. He wiped away the dried tears from my face and pulled me into his chest.

We just sat on that dune for a while longer, watching the stars, listening to the ocean and occasionally stealing little kissed from each other.

Have you ever dreamt of that perfect, passionate kiss? The one you only come across in movies or fairytale endings? I thought it never existed, but that night I realised that dreams can come true. And I got my fairytale ending.