Early Morning: A Cullen Story Chp. 9 pt. 2

After being caged up for days in a sickly hospital with my mother and father. I was able to go home with my left arm in a sling. Everyone I knew came to visit me; Even Leah came by before she left back for California. Though, everyone was watching us and we've only shared a small exchange of words. I told her thank you and she said, don't mention it and I mentally promised I wouldn't. There. Simple. I got cards and visits from kids at school and other's around town; Except for the Perpetrator. Josh Newton. But I didn't rat him out when Chief Swan came investigating. When he asked what happened, I stated, that I wasn't paying attention when I hit the pothole in the road. I knew someone else in my position would but I couldn't find it in my heart to do it. He was my first love, remember. I still care about him. Emmet was more disgruntled about it than anyone.

Mrs. Crawley came to see me after a few days too. Her condition seemed to worsen, unfortunately. Her sun-healthy skin was now an unhealthy and disgusting color of pale white. Nurse Linda had to roll her thin, gangly body in to see me in one of the hospital wheelchairs. We talked when we could but there was always a short pause in her sentences as she tried to find some consistency in her thought process. Daddy said, that the cancer has spread to all her major organs now. Her brain was deteriorating faster than he assumed. He was being optimistic and saying that she'll make it through the month. It made me want to spend all my time with her if this was the last I'll see of her. But Father told me, that if I went to school, he'd let me stay with her most of the nights. And I did. I did my volunteer work one handed as my left arm healed. Until the day, I walked into Mrs. Crawley's room…

I had a pitcher of water in my hand as I came in. "Hey, Mrs. Crawley. I'm back with the water." She didn’t answered me. But I had expected that. Mrs. Crawley, didn't say much and when she did it was mumbled together in a rush of words. I walked over to her little side table. I placed the pitcher down. She stared up at me with unfathomable eyes. I stopped short looking at her face. My eyes glanced up at the machinery she was connected her. Her heart rate was slowing on the monitoring. The beep was off; Slower. I frowned at it, worry. I should call my father.

I felt cold, prickly, fragile fingers touch my wrist. I looked down at her, she pointed to her cup on desk in front of her. The cup was a plastic pink and empty. I smiled, cheerfully.

"Oh, yeah," I said, in reminder.
I grabbed the pitcher again and poured her some water. I didn't want to fill the cup all the way, because she was so frail--she would spill and feel embarrassed and I didn't want that. I don't want to cause her discomfort. She's my friend. I would do anything for her. Her lips chapped and peeling from lack of water in her body made me eager to pour the water. Her pale blue eyes were dull and lifelessly. She tried to smile but it was too much for her face. I filled her cup a little less than half way.

"Hey, kid," She wheezed. She licked her lips, swallowed feebly.

I smiled. "Hey." I replied.

She coughed, harshly.

"You…wanna…know something?" She said, next. Her voice had lowered, so I leaned over to listen clearly. Her eyes lolled around in head before she met my gaze again. The left side of her mouth twitched upward.

"Yeah, sure." I said.

She wheezed as she inhaled.

"If I…had a daughter…I would," she coughed again. "Want her…to be…just…like…you…girlie." My eyes watered. I stood over her now my face full with a variety of emotion. Straightening my stance, I saw her turn her head up to the ceiling, staring unseeingly. I didn't know what to say. What could you say? The tears in my eyes were flowing over the brim. I wanted to wipe them away but how…? They just fell one after the other in silence. I nodding after a while shaking them out. I smiled at her, but she didn't see it. The air in the atmosphere was a thick and putrid one. I stood there frozen with the plastic pink pitcher.

I watched her carefully. The way her hands feebly twitched. Her slowed, heavy breathing. Her wheezing remember me of creaking old steps on a staircase. The pitcher was becoming heavy in my hand. My right arm wanted to unbend my elbow and release the built tension. My dark root beer eyes glistening with tears as I watched the slow patterned of her chest.

The sluggish rise of her chest, was a struggle; It seemed harder for her to inhale then exhale. My heart raced, as I watched her chest rise dramatically then…stopped at last exhale.

The heart monitor beep erratically alerting me that her heart had stopped. I staggered backward, whimpers ripping between my lips; Accidentally, I dropped the pitcher, my mouth open in shock. The pitcher cracked in half as the water splattered over my feet in the thin flats I wore and on the tile floor. The tears falling freely down my cheek as I screamed.

It only seemed like seconds, before iron hard arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me out of the room. I thrashed and fought against them, as Father and Marcus ran over to Mrs. Crawley. I screamed and screamed, sobbing hard. The last thing I remember was seeing Jasper's face before fainting. It was careful and protective.

Sandra Crawley's funeral was the worst. I'd never felt so alone in such a crowd of people. Of course, Father, Edward and Bella came with me…but they didn't have the same bond I had with her. Tyler was in the front row, crying on the shoulder of his girlfriend, who was a little overdressed for the occasion. Wearing a black suit set with sequences and sewn glitter around the pocket flaps and neck with her cheap Libby faux suede black heels. I wanted to spit in disgust and call her a fashion disaster…but it was Mrs. Crawley's day.

Everyone in town was there. It was the biggest social gathering since graduation. Most were old friends of Bella's and some were just people I didn't know. I saw Josh there and he stared at me from across the circle watching me with sullen eyes. The priest, Angela Weber's father, continued to speak as they lowered the casket in the ground. I had tried so hard not to cry the last couple of weeks after her death: But the dam I built, deteriorated as I broke. My knees felt weak and Father caught me before I fell to the ground.

I placed my roses on the grave and sat in the car with my father only moments after they finished burying her. Dad was in the driver's seat, while we waited for Edward and Bella to finish up conversation with Jessica Stanley, Mike Newton (Which Edward, politely interrupted, making an emphases on the word, 'wife') and Angela Weber. They talked with Tyler for a bit but he had a line of people waiting to talk to him. Bella sat next to me as Edward sat in the front seat. He seemed amused about something.

"I can't believe she's gone…poor Tyler." Bella announced as we pulled away.

"Yes, but she lived an good life. She didn't have any regrets." Father said.

The wave of the conversation, was making it hard to breath. My muscles tighten as my eyes filled with more tears. I bite my lip as I looked down at my hands playing with them, nervously.

"Yes. She was a very interesting woman. Sherese, I'm sorry for your lost. I know you had a very close bond with her." Edward spoke. He looked at me in rearview mirror where mine met his. His eyes were sympathetic but still laced with confusion and frustration. I let my sorrow consume me as I looked away from him, my head resting against the window. We were almost home now.

When I came home, Mother smothered me in a comforting hug, kissing my face, asking if everything was alright. I nodded, gesturing to her I was fine. She wanted me to eat something, but I spoke for the first time and said, no. I went off to bed without supper and didn't speak for the next week. Edward would ask me at least twice a day, what was I thinking? Probably, trying to soothe my family's anxious reaction to my depression. The multiple attacks of happiness filled me when I reached the second floor so I tried to stay away. Feeling the pulls from different areas of the house.

"Sherese," Edward called from the piano; When I came in the front door coming home from school. I looked at him. "What are you thinking?"

I looked at him and walked off. Ignoring the pull coming from the middle of his chest. He continued to play but his eyes never left my back. My perfect analytical brother, Edward could not read my distress? Could he not read my mind today? I usually said, nothing, but give him a suspicious look and turned away…today, I was just tired. My mouth sealed shut close with grieve and sadness. Sandra Crawley had died. There was no reason to be happy anymore.

As the days, went by. I threw myself in a bunch of tasks to keep me busy, now that my arm was fully healed and no longer was attached to the cast and sling. My mind was still in a haze, a dark fog that made it hard to think. Especially in school. Only once and a while it would evaporate then come back in the morning. I told my father and he gave me aspirin upon aspirin and it still didn't dent the fog. So, I gave up. I ignoring the pulling when I walked into a room with Alice, Edward, Bella, Jasper or Nessie. The pull was a magnetic one. Every once in a while it would become too strong and I would have to sit at least ten feet away from them to get any peace at all.

It was Sunday Morning and I finished all the gift baskets (The first project I started). I made one for everyone who saved me from that dreadful night. Mom helped me and came up with some ideas on her own. But she mainly, she had me do everything. She said, it would mean a lot more if I made them. I sent Leah's to the place she was staying in California (Which cost me a lot more than I would like to spend on Leah). I filled Leah's with expense perfumes, shopping gift cards, body washes, a manicure and pedicure set and a small bottle of sparkly gold nail polish. Everyone else was a lot easier to allocate.

I recently, found out that Sam was married so I made him and his wife a gift basket with pastries, shower gels, perfumes and aromatherapy candles. I realized that Embry liked Cars…so I made brownies and cookies in the shape of cars, little toy cars modeled after antique designs. Seth mentioned that Embry was also a fan of rock music--so I bought him some cd's to ease his lack of music collection. Jake's was the easiest. He just wanted pastries. I filled his with Cup cakes, a cherry pie, cookies and some chocolate mints. Each basket filled with a thank you card personally made by me. Little white cards, with the Cullen crest on the outside in ivory with my good handwriting inside the flap.

For Seth…I didn't know what to do. So I asked him myself. He'd came over one day, after studying for a Biology class and needed my help. We were sitting in my room looking over a study guide for his final in a couple of weeks.

I played with my fingers, as I bite my lip, looking at floor.

The light scribbling noise his pen made stopped.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

I pulled my fingers apart as I looked at him, pathetically.

"Um, I'm, well, I'm not sure what you might want or like…in your gift basket," I glanced at his astounded face. "I hadn't made it yet and I was wondering if…well, maybe you could tell me?"

He was silent for a moment.

I looked at him again for some reassurance that he was alive. My heart fluttered wildly, as stared at his chest, biting the lust back. The heat coming off of him was addicting. I inched closer to him as he looked at his book now; He giggled once.

"You don't have to make me a basket." He said.

I bobbed my head from side to side. "Well, I know," I said in a small voice. "But I want to. You, I mean, It means that much to me."

"Well, if you want to do something for me, then maybe if your not busy this weekend--we could see a movie?" My heart stuttered as I gulped. A movie with Seth? Just the two of us? Alone? Together? My cheeks burned as they turned pink.

"Sure."

Renesmee is the only one of us, to have been to La Push. Because they was a discrepancy about my father's heritage that Quileute people didn't agree with. I was immediately angry but remembered that it's just how the world is. Jacob said, I wouldn't have trouble going to La Push. I asked him why. He said, just trust him and I did. La Push wasn't want I'd expected it to be. The scenery, I had in mind was more like Hawaii than actual Washington. The little shack houses were like oversize sheds and some actually looked like homes on top of large cinder blocks.

The first house was Embry's. The small white shaggy home was quaint in a funny way. Embry was nineteen (But he looked twenty) and was going to college with Seth and another boy…Collin? I think. He wasn't what I expected…he was better. Tall, medium muscular build and a very cute face. My heart melted. All these hot Quileute boys made me want to live here. I couldn’t stand it anymore.

Embry was sitting on his porch steps awaiting our arrival. I smiled wide, just a tad overexcited to meet the boy, as I grabbed his basket and rushed out of the car before Jacob and Renesmee could get out. I could hear Embry's mother yelling at him about if he left he was going to come back with his stuff outside. I slowed a bit feeling a little scared; What I assumed as his mother was watching his sternly out the wife. I met Embry's eyes and watched as jumped off his porch swiftly. He had a large small on his face when he saw me. I didn't know if he was glad to see me or because of my clothes. It was a little warm today, so I wore a see-through v-neck sweater that plunged a little lower than the typical and tight skinny jeans and snow boots.

"Hey, guys!" Embry called.

I didn't even see heard Jacob following me. But suddenly he was there.

"What's up, Embry." Jacob called beside me. I flinched a little and they caught that. "Don't come too close or your mom will start packing up your underwear." Jacob teased. Embry laughed as he shook hands with Jake. Renesmee slung an arm around my shoulders and was smiling widely at the boy in front us. I was in too much awe. He was so cute.

"Hey, Nessie…" Embry said. Straining over her name. There seemed to be some inside joke I wasn't a part of. I hoped in the future that I could be included to new inside jokes. The future. I can't wait.

She laughed. "Hey, Embry."

I smiled up at look, handing the basket forward.

"I guess, I have to introduce myself," I said, watching Embry take the basket from me, gingerly, as he looked inside through the clear plastic to see what's inside. "I'm Sherese Cullen. I made you a gift basket in gratitude for saving me."

Embry nodded as he looked appreciatively at the packaged toy cars.

"Hey, Thanks. S'cool, man. What S'all in here?"

I leaned over toward him and he flinched. His nostrils flared like he smelled something bad. I rocked myself onto the heels of my feet. Did I forget to spray perfume? I couldn't have. I showered, deodorized and spray on my Christian Dior perfume. Did he hate the smell of Christian Dior? Impossible. No one hates Dior.

This staggered me still. "Um, There's, um, cookies and brownies--I shaped them into cars--I heard you like cars. I even bought you some small car models for you too. " He investigated the basket, ripping a small hole on the side as he pulled out a sugar cookie. He snickered and bit into it. I watched him chew with joy. He looked at the cookie then took another big bite.

"Wow…this is a good cookie." He said, with a full mouth. I laughed, along with the others as we watched him.

"That's why asked for all pastries in mine." Jake said. Well, I knew Jacob liked my deserts. He was my test subject. I started using baking as a constructive outlet after the Josh thing. And since, the only one in the house never provokes me the way Emmet does; I'm glad I have baking. I enjoy.

"Thank you, Mhmm, this is really good. Looks like Emily's got some competition huh?" Embry said. Jacob took one of Embry's brownies and shoved it into his mouth.

"Yeah…but don't tell her. She'll want a cook-off--come to think of it, we're about to go over there, I'll tell so I can get first dibs." Jacob said.

Embry laughed, as he put his basket behind his back, protecting it. I smiled, trying not to laugh.

"Sure, sure. You know you can't keep a secret--if there's a cook off we'll all know." Embry hinted. Jacob rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah. Well, we better get Sam's his before it spoils. See ya, later, Em." They shook hands, as Embry shoved the last of the cookie in his mouth. Jake dusted his hand off of the crumbs.

"Yeah, I'll see you tonight. Thanks for the basket, Sher, it's cute."

I blushed adverting my eyes to the ground.

"Your welcome." I said, shyly.

Sam's house was the farthest. His wasn't as shaggy as the others but just as small. It was blue with a flowers growing in front of it and in the window. I had to put Sam's things in two baskets. One for the food and the other for the candles and stuff. Jacob parked the Volvo and turned around to look at me. I could see Renesmee's face out the rear-view mirror. It was sorrowful.

"Sherri, Sam's very sensitive, when it comes to his wife. So, try not to stare, please. She was attacked by a bear, years back…it's a tough subject. Just don't stare."

I nodded, understanding his plea.

"Okay."

We got out the car, both baskets in my hands. Jacob knocked on the door, as he laced his finger's with Renesmee's. It seemed that he couldn't be away from her for no matter of time. Like the time they shared was precious. He wasn't relieved until he was near her. Until he was touching her. What used to make me sick, now, makes me hopeful to find love.

"Come in, Jake!" A soft voice called.

Jacob opened the door and I swallowed hard. Mentally, preparing myself for the warning, Jacob had given me. We walked into the small house. It was very bright and cozy inside. Like something out of fairy tale. I gave a sigh of awe. The kitchen, dinning room and living room where connected. Sam I assumed, stood up from the table and came over to us. I saw the back of his wife, Emily, mixing something. There was skillet already on the stove, warming up. On the counter next to me, was a large bowl of blueberry muffins. It seemed delicious.

"Hey, Sam." Jacob said.

"Jacob, Nessie." Sam spoke.

I peeked around Renesmee's shoulder with a huge smile on my face.

"Hi," I said, cheerfully. I walked around them to the small table. I placed the baskets on the table and throw my hand out to greet Sam. "I'm Sherese Cullen."

Sam smiled, as he shook my hand.

"Yeah, I know who you are."

I smiled.

"Nice to meet you." I turned expectantly, to the woman in the corner of the kitchen who was now putting some bacon on the skillet. I could see what Jacob was talking about. The poor girl had three deep scars across her face. Turning that side of her face into a forever masked grimaced. She looked up at me and I saw her good side. I could tell that she used to be beautiful. I would have envied her. She smiled timidly at me and I smiled encouragingly, as I walked over to shake her hand next.

"I'm Sherese, nice to meet you." I said.

She took my hand, shook and let go.

"Emily."

I smiled again trying to be friendly--which I was.

"I heard you like to cook. So do I. But my thing is pastries…because I'm using it as a constructive outlet for my anger. My specialty is Sledge hammer pie." I said.

She laughed at me. "What's Sledge hammer pie?" She asked.

"Well, at the time, Emmet, my brother," She glanced at Sam with uncertainty. But I didn't let it falter me in the slightest. I was used to it. "Was calling me a shrimp and stuff--so I told him, 'You know what? You big Ape! I'm going to crack your shiny hardtop four wheeler jeep with the Sledge Hammer, jerk.' Then me and him really got into it…so I had mom take me to store to gather ingredients for the pie I had in mind. But basically, it's just smashed fruit like berries and stuff bake into a soft thin crust membrane. It's really good. I made you guys one."

She looked at the baskets and then at me.

"Thanks. You wanna muffin? Those are my specialty."

I sighed in relief.

"I could tell---I'd thought you'd never ask." I replied. I could deny that I wanted one of those mouth watering muffins. I went over and took one. I bit into and I swore I was spiraling down into this psychedelic muffin love fest. She laughed at me along with everyone else.

Our visit with Sam wasn't one in vain. I had a lot of fun and Emily asked Jacob to bring me around more and I agree full heartedly. I needed to get out the house. I explained the purpose of the aromatherapy candles to Emily before I left. She seemed intrigued. I told her about all the different types are meant for different things. Then we talked about the challenges with using bleach and unbleached flour. I was definitely coming back.

As we got in the car, I strapped on my seat belt.

"So, the next time you guys plan to come to La Push--your taking me to come see Emily. I won't take no for an answer." I said.

I watched Jacob roll his eyes.

"Are what are you going to do?"

For so long, I wished I had something against Jacob to make him to my bidding. And now, I did. I recently acquired from a source that Jake was in fact in love with my lemon squares and chocolate mousse cakes.

"Stop baking my lemon squares and chocolate mousse cakes." I said, curtly.

Nessie giggled and I heard Jake grumble to himself.

"Fine. Deal."

I smiled, smug. That's what I though.