Dear Diary April 30, 2007
I can't believe it. After all these years of wanting her gone, of wanting her to just leave my life for good, my sister is in the hospital after a car wreck and she is in critical condition.
Worse part, she needs a blood transfusion and no one in the family has her blood type which is very surprising. Not the whole "no-one's-a-match" thing, well that but even more so, the fact that both my mom and dad are A so is my dumb little brother and me... but Halle is B-.
Sadly, I'm pretty amused that if our blood types were grades, I'd be better. Okay, I'm done being amused, now I feel bad...
The doctors are confused now too, apparently it's very weird for us all to have the same blood type, but not her... I was there since 7 pm last night, it's now 3 am but I'm home, and everyone is still soo darn confused about this all. Honestly, they simply need to find a donor and find one QUICK before, God forbid, anything really bad happens to her.
Besides the crash...
Sorry dear Diary, but I'll be right back. I know it's wrong of me but I need very much to go spy on something real quick. I promise it's only for good reasons. Really. The doctor pulled my mom and dad aside, well, into the next room so this is the perfect chance to spy.
Oh... my... gosh...
I didn't think it was possible, but I've just been shocked to tears, not silence, tears. And I've officially decided I'm never going to spy or be really mean again.
"Mr. and Mrs. Livingston, we don't mean to question this but, the only thing, that we can think of, that would cause this is that one of you is not Halle's birth parent."
Everyone stood in silence, I'd even stopped breathing, "But here on Halle's birth certificate, it says that you both are indeed her parents." My dad stepped forward, his head down and my stomach dropped. Wasn't I supposed to be the one that we weren't sure was my dad's child?!
"Back before our wedding, my wife got pregnant, well, she was raped. We didn't find out until we'd been married, four months later, and that's when she finally told me what had happened." The doctor looked surprised yet he seemed to believe my parents story, "Well, that does make thing a lot easier to understand. Thank you for explaining that, as hard as it must be."
The first thing through my mind was that I was such an awful kid. All this time, I'd been mad at mom for keeping secrets from me when she kept the fact that Halle was a product of RAPE from my sister! But then, I saw my mom bow her head in shame, my father looked angry as he backed away and I remembered their wedding anniversary and Halle's birthday. Halle was born on my dad's twentieth birthday, a year and a half after my parents had gotten married.
The world's perfect woman hadn't been raped, she'd cheated.
Dr. What's-His-Face nudged past me and I stomped into the room, angry at everything, "How could you just sit there and lie to him to cover up something your wife did?!"
Dad jumped startled by my voice but mom refused to look up, she'd looked like she was crying and the only thing I could think was, You should be, you deserve nothing of what you have.
"Emilia, why were you listening in on this?!" Like the answer wasn't obvious, "Because even though my sister tortures me and embarrasses me she is still my sister! I thought I had a right to know why no one could give her blood!"
"Emilia..." My mom started but almost immediately stopped once my dad and I gave her dirty looks. This conversation she had no say in because for someone to hear you, to listen to what you have to say and what you think, they have to at least respect or care for you.
Case in point, neither of us did. Not anymore.
My dad rubbed his face, with what seemed to be a tired expression plastered on his face, masking the anger and worry, "Hun, we wanted to tell you, I wanted to tell you, but it wasn't the right time, especially not with the mood swings you've been going through lately. And you've been doing so well in school, you have more friends, I just... it wasn't the right time is all."
Have I've been too emotional?
"Whatever." I mumbled to myself, not dumb enough to try and combat the mood swings comment even though I had a heck of a lot more to say to my 'mother'. (Not that I wanted to call her that right now.)
Fumbling to yank my cell phone from my pocket, I sent a text to Natalie, asking her if she could get her mom to pick me up at the hospital. After getting a confirmation text saying that her mom and her were coming, I went into the bathroom, after making sure the coast was clear, and emptied the tiny amount of water I had consumed into the toilet.
Have I really been so angry lately?
I don't know what's been up with me but now that I look back, I've really changed... For the better in some ways, for the worst in others.
Right now I feel so sick to my stomach because I'm hungry. I don't want to eat though, and not only because I'm just gonna puke it back up. No, I'm too worried to eat.
That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.
Oh, dear Diary, I wanted to say, my 11's are too big and now I'm only just above 160. I'd be a lot happier if I didn't feel like crap. Oh well, g'night dear Diary.
Emilia Livingston
Goodness... I need to update this more often!
Sorry you didn't get to read it first Emmers! :-P
~Dory
