Lost Memories [Chapter 5]

Six Years Later

Since the ‘incident’, six whole joyful years have past. Seke and I are both sixteen years of age and really close friends, and it seems like forever that we have been. There haven’t been many changes between Seke and me, but of course we’re older. I have long brown hair that falls slightly shorter on the left side and bright green eyes. I wear a midnight blue tank top with another pair of loose straps that fall limply off my shoulders. With that I wear a light tan skirt with two pockets, one on each side, and underneath that are black shorts that fall longer than the skirt, but not by much. Then, of course I have my silver crescent moon necklace dangling on the end of strong black thread and my bracelet on my right arm. On my feet are short brown boots the wrap around snuggly. As for Seke he wears a simple black and white zip up shirt with light gray jeans and sneakers. His hair spikes out and down subtly in the front his head, partially covering his left eye. But besides appearance, I’m the same person I was when I first got here.

Time has past by without even a second glance. It was as if I had lived in Sudor my whole life, I couldn’t feel more at home. Sure, things at first were a little strange, without a doubt, but still, after a few months past it was like nothing ever happened. People eventually learned to trust me and stop believing that I was some evil spirit coming to haunt their town, or something. Honestly I just think they had fear of who I was, not what I could do. Besides, I was only a child, but now, I’m mature and I can fend for myself. It’s strange though, the feeling of being lost never really wears off until you completely find yourself. I’ve been searching for a long time now, but not a trace of my past ever comes to greet me. Maybe, if it’s even possible, I never had a past and was some celestial being born of the endless abyss of the universe. But, on the other hand, I could just be suffering from memory loss, which seems like the more logical explanation. Yet, even after six whole years of living in Sudor as a comfortable local, I still feel out of place, like me being here was all a mistake. And what if it was? What was I to do of it? Each day I secretly yearn for the answers, the truth, the explanations of who I am, where I’ve come from, what am I to do here in this little town of Sudor set out in the middle of nowhere. For some time now I’ve began to believe that I was never even suppose to exist and this is all a mistake.

Ever since that night, the purity of the blinding whiteness has been haunting my mind. All I ever heard of was how I came to Sudor by some radiant light. Some have their own stories: how I was sent down from the sky on a ball of fire, or how I magically appeared in the dead of night from some sort of witchcraft and I was forever cursed by this white curse. I’ve heard them all and their ridiculous tales of how I came to be. It’s hardly fair, not being able to prove them wrong or right. I only pray that they are all dead wrong. But who am I to say how I came to be, I hardly know who I am, whether I came from a small village or a gigantic busting city, whether I had just two parents or many siblings, whether deep sea blue was my favorite color or marigold orange. Either way, I was prepared to one day leave this secluding town and find my family, where I came from, and who I am. I promised myself that...no matter what, I’m sticking to it because I was tired of people always seeing me as the girl who couldn’t be trusted, the outsider, and the one that was hardly real in their eyes. To most of them, I never existed, but that’s because they never gave me a chance.

Each time in this place, I felt more and more at home, even though it always ended in horror. Like always, the room of pure light surrounded me with no place to go, and every time the voice would emerge from the silence until it faded and I was engulfed in a vortex of pitch darkness. Then, I would wake in a cold sweat startled by the dream, though I came to accept waking every night to see the moon grazing over my sheets and glowing against my bare skin. It came routine to fall asleep expecting the dream to haunt my mind, but it was something I had gotten used to long ago.

I woke the next morning and walked to get some breakfast. It was Tuesday, and Seke had work, as did Seke’s father Trenth. I would do chores around the house and help prepare supplies for dinner that evening. Eventually it got later and Trenth came home early and now all had to do was wait.

The afternoon was growing later. I, Parada, Trenth were all lazily occupying the kitchen. Trenth was looking over the paper at the table, while Parada was aimlessly moving about the area preparing food, like usual.

Impatiently, I sat at the table across from Trenth. I leaned forward in my chair, propping my head on my right arm. I sighed heavily. My patience was scratching through my mind, making me more restless and agitated by the second. The room was filled to the ceiling in silence, not an awkward silence, just silence. A loud bang interrupted the emptiness. Familiar footsteps stormed into the room as my favorite blue eyed boy filed in. I peered over at him anxiously, he smiled in return.

“Hey,” Seke huffed, out of breath.

“Hi sweetie, how was your day?” Parada asked, concentrating on her preparations.

Seke scuffed over to his mother’s side and kissed her on the cheek, “Fine.” He then made his way behind my seat, “Ready to go?” Seke directed the question to me.

“Definitely,” I said as I shot from my chair.

Trenth looked up from his paper, “Where are you two going so fast?” He was completely incredulous to us leaving.

“Just the usual,” Seke was blown over from the sudden suspicion that was apparent in his fathers tone. “We’ll be back later!” Seke called over his shoulder as he sped out the room. I trailed after, grabbing my long and slender wooden spear on my way.

“Be home for dinner!” Parade called.

“Will do, See ya!” Seke informed before exiting the house, grabbing his secondhand sword. He was out as fast as he came in.

As we raced out onto the street of Sudor our feet skidded with the newly paved roads. I flew behind Seke down the usual route to the edge of the forest. Summer air blew on our faces as we ran past familiar faces through town. I smiled. This is my home. And I wouldn’t want it any other way.

We came to the ever growing green trees - they inched taller every year. My feet were on auto-pilot rushing through and past the nature surrounding us. I didn’t have to think when running here, I’ve become so accustom to the things around me and I didn’t have to pay attention to arrive somewhere.

We finally broke through the tall trees. Our beautiful field unfolded before our gazing eyes. The sun was slowly fading, but still high in the sky. The wheat swayed in the subtle wind blowing. My sprinting came to a halt as I looked over at the large stone that lay still in the same spot as many years before. Things really hadn’t changed much.

Seke stood at my side, admiring the open plain as well. His eyes watched me, “You ready?” Seke interrupted my thought.

Our eyes met, I smirked. “Bring it,” I quietly tested.

Seke eyes creased, he replied with a smirk of his own.

We jumped backward from each other, readying ourselves. He drew forth his timely weapon and crouched into a starting stance. I brought my spear in both my hands and prepared my feet to shoot off.

For a long moment we stood their waiting for the other. He was concentrating on trying to read my first move, and then smiled when he thought he knew for sure what it was. Disapproving of his invisible thoughts, I shook my head.

Harmoniously, we both took off toward the other, weapon in hand. He threw a simple move as he jumped in the air and brought his sword down in a downward slash. Using both hands, I held the spear horizontally, blocking his hit. He repelled backward. I charged forward, sticking my weapon out straight, going for a perfect head on jab. He dodged it easily, moving to the right and coming toward me from my left side. I threw my weapon to my side, clanging loudly with his sword. Repelling, we kept our distance from the other.

“C’mon Izame! Fight like a man!” Seke taunted.

“But I don’t want to lose!” I threw his taunt right back at him.

“Ha-ha.” He replied, not amused. I smirked.

I charged forward throwing the point of the spear into the ground. Then, using the pole as support I lifted my body off the ground and forward kicked into Seke’s chest repelling him backward.

I crouched over the toppled Seke. “What was that about fighting like a man?”

His eyes tightened and he surged up from the ground. Bringing his sword forward he crouched and threw it across my feet. I sprung up and dodged it as the sword flew by underneath me. Seke then turned in a complete circle to meet my body again. I jumped backward bringing my palms to the ground in a back flip. I landed upright preparing for another attack. Once my sight was focused, Seke jolted forward and threw his sword down on me. I brought my spear over my head to protect against the oncoming hit. The weapons clanged together again. We held our weapons there, trying to overpower the others. Considering Seke has more upper body strength than me, his sword slowly lowered closer and closer to my face. I panicked, he smiled deviously. He knew victory was coming. And it was coming fast. I had to think quickly. I took all my strength and threw my spear forward. His sword went backward swiftly, and then slipped from his grasped. The old sword went flying through the air and stuck out from the ground a ways away.

I smiled successfully. My eyes were focused on the ownerless weapon in the distance. While I wasn’t paying attention, something warm suddenly twisted around me and rammed me into the ground. Seke pinned me against the dirt. His knees were placed on either sides of my waist and he had both my wrist stuck by the sides of my head. The position would have been awkward for most, but I always found it more annoying than awkward. I tried wiggling free, but my attempts failed. Victorious blue eyes stared down at me.

“Uh,” I sighed in defeat. Then a miniscule smile rose onto my lips. Seke looked down on me in confusion.

I twisted my wrist out of his grasp and grabbed hold of his wrist instead. I threw our bodies to the side, flipping Seke onto his back. I sat on his stomach and pinned his wrist into dust. Shock was plastered on his tanned face. My long brown hair fell to the sides making curtains and my long stringed necklace layed gently on his chest. I grinned evilly, bringing a new level of confusion to Seke’s face. I made a crackling sound in the back of my mouth, collecting saliva. I scrunched my lips bringing the spit forward. But before I could let any of the slimly substance fall, Seke had intervened.

“I give! I give!” Seke forfeited. I swallowed and grinned toothily, and then released his wrists and sat back.

I lay back in the scratchy wheat. The golden stalks swayed gracefully in the breeze as I closed my eyes and felt a shadowed figure peer over. I peeked one eye open and smiled lazily. Seke lay beside me and copied my movement by closing his soft blue eyes.

“We should head home,” he whispered.

“In just a moment, I don’t want to leave yet,” I sighed.

The sweet summer air was inhaled deeply through my nostrils. If you looked hard enough you could pick out tiny glittering star emerging in the setting sky. Sherbet orange and lavender purple painted the sky into a beautiful picture. My head rested in the soil and I could feel my insides drop to the earth beneath me.

“Do you think I have any family out there?” I whispered.

Seke sat up on his elbows and peered over at me but I kept my eyes to the sky. “Probably somewhere,” He said almost solemnly. “But Izame, we’re your family too, you know.” I looked to the side to see his soft expression.

“I know,” I replied. ‘Even so…’ I thought ‘I would still like to know where I’ve come from and if there’s anyone out there looking for me.’ “Well,” I started, “I guess we should get going then.”

“Yeah,” Seke stood and then offered me a hand. I took it graciously and then jumped to my feet with a grin. “What are you smiling about?”

“Oh I was just thinking about how, for once, I beat you, and the thought made me smile with glee,” I grinned again to convince him.

“Oh yeah, well you better not get used to that feeling because you’re never going to feel it ever again.”

“We’ll see about that.”

“Race you home,” he smirked.

“Bring it.”

“On your mark…Go!” Seke sprinted off leaving me in my readying position.

“Hey!” I called to him but he just kept running as I chased after him. We finally got home, and unfortunately, he won, but only because he stupidly cheated his way to victory. The table was set for dinner and we sat while I teased and pestered Seke the entire time. Parada eventually scolded us for acting so childish, but we hardly cared. It soon turned to night and Seke and I had just finished helping to clean up and changed for the night. We all spoke our goodnights’ and headed off to bed.

Again, I woke to the luminous white light streaming in all around me. No walls, no ceiling; it went on forever. I was lying against the strangely warm floor. I stood to the light and heard the voice, like usual. I had eventually come accustom to these strange and repetitive dreams, they were always the same and each time I had the same reactions. I would wake in a cold sweat, I didn’t fully understand why, but somehow, the dream frightened my core and I couldn’t contain the fear, no matter how hard I tried. But this time, the dream didn’t run in its usual chain of events.

In whiteness I remained and there was no darkness in sight. The same voice as before beckoned to me.

“Izame,” they whispered, but it wasn’t their usual whisper. Instead the whisper was more solid and understandable, almost as if the voice was standing beside me. I turned to find that across from me stood a young girl, about my age, yet probably a tad older. She had long brown hair pulled up in a bun while a long strand hung loosely over her shoulder. Then, she had bright green eyes and a soft trusting smile. Her skin was glowing and she wore a white tank-like shirt with one sleeve uncovering her shoulder while keeping the remainder of her right arm hidden. Her long white skirt was wrapped with a thick gray belt at the top and there was a large cut up the right side.

I stared at the unknown figure in amazement. “Who…Who are you?”

“There’s no time for you to be asking me questions. You’ll have plenty of time later for asking questions, and I assure you that.”

“Then, what are you here for?”

“I’ve come to make certain of something.”

“And what is that?”

“Izame, are you ready?”

“Ready…Ready for what?”

“Are you ready to face the past that will soon confront you. It will be difficult and a long journey, but everything will come eventually, that is, if you’re prepared.”

“Prepared for what? You’re not making any sense. Who are you?” She shook her head and I stared in confusion. “I’ve been having the same dream for years, why did it change all of sudden.”

“You’re asking to learn so much so quickly, but most things come better in time, with patience.”

“I don’t have patience!” I screamed out of frustration.

“Oh Izame,” she sighed with sympathy,” I know that you’re frustrated, but you must understand that good things will come if you just follow the light.”

‘Was she reading my mind?’ I wondered, but threw it aside while processing the rest of what she said. “What light? Do you mean the light in here? It never ends! I’ve tried running from this place before, but never got anywhere. Even though this place is warm and inviting and also somehow reminds me of home, which is strange because I don’t know what my home is like, but I just don’t completely trust what’s happening to me.” I rambled, I was lost and confused and I didn’t fully understand what I was doing. “Please, there has to be some explanation for why I lost my home, my family, my mind, my thoughts, my…everything.” At this point I could feel myself breaking down. “This is hardly fair the way that I’ve forgotten everything about who I am and where I come from. Do you know what that’s like? No, how could you. You’re not even real, you’re just a figment of my imagination that I created in spite that I need some place to escape to, yet this place always ends in my destruction. Is that supposed to mean something, anything? I can’t take this anymore! Who am I! What am I doing here?” I collapsed to the floor containing my fear building up on the inside.

“Calm yourself, Izame. Things will work out in the end. You must have faith, not only in your comrades, but in yourself.” She closed her eyes slowly. “You must have patience.”

I looked up at her and felt my body flush in embarrassment. She was so serene and I was an unstable train wreck. How could I ever have patience, something of which I never really had?

“Be ready, time is swiftly ticking to an end. You must be ready. I have faith in you, but you must have faith in yourself.”

“Time is ticking to an end?” I asked.

“The sun will set sooner than expected.”

I stared at her with confusion. She smiled contently and mysteriously faded into the light. I jumped to my feet and turned every which way, but she was nowhere to be found.

I woke abruptly to the darkness filling my room and surged forward. Again, I was in a cold sweat. I wiped my face down with the back of my hands and whipped the sheets off. My feet trailed over to the room directly across from mine. Silently, I slipped into the room and crouched over the dark figure lying messily among his sheets. For a moment I hesitated waking him, but then grabbed his shoulder and shook him slightly. He groaned and turned over. I tried again and he turned back toward me and forced his eyes open. Seke sat up against his pillows, while squinting his eyes to get a better picture of my figure.

“Oh Izame, what is it?” He cupped the side of my face loosely with his hand, “Are you all right? You’re sweating horribly.”

“I just…don’t feel good, that’s all.”

“Izame, I know you, I can tell when something up. Now, what’s the matter?”

“It’s pathetic really.”

“It couldn’t be. Just tell me.”

I sat on the edge of his bedside as he sat up intently. “I had a dream…” I started.

“The same one as usual?”

“No. Seke, I’ve been having the same dream for six years, yet now, all of a sudden, it changes, and I think that’s what frightens me the most.”

“Well, what happened differently?”

“The voice…I could see it. I mean, the voice came from a young girl, and I could see her. She was beautiful with long brown hair, green eyes, and a peaceful kind of look in her eyes. Her skin practically glowed with radiance. But the strangest thing was what she said to me.” I paused and pondered over the dream. “She said…no, she kept asking me if I was ready? I didn’t understand. ‘Ready for what?’ I would ask her, but she wouldn’t tell. She continually told me that I needed to have patience and things would come in time, and then…” I stopped.

“Then?” Seke said continuing me on.

“And then, she told me that time was coming to an end…”

“What do you suppose that means?”

“I’m…not sure. If only I knew where I came from and who I was.”

“You’re Izame. You’re apart of my family. You live here in Sudor. You’re a beautiful person. But, most importantly, you’re my best friend, Izame, and I’m so lucky to have ever met you.”

“Seke…” I was touched by his words, in a way that he could never know. “…thank you.”

“You should get some rest.”

“Right, I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Goodnight, Izame.”

I silently trailed back to my own bedroom and closed the door shut behind me. I had no intentions of going back to sleep. Instead, I lay on my bed without a sound staring at the ceiling thinking. Who was that girl and what was she talking about? It all seemed so confusing and I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but it felt like I had known her at one point in life. With the way things are, that was a very probable possibility.

I wondered…would I ever figure out who I really am?

Somehow, in the midst of my thinking I had fallen asleep once again, but this time, no dream. I got up and got dressed and met Seke and the rest of my ‘family’ out in the kitchen. Seke smiled at me as I did the same. He was sitting at the table poking at his food.

“Seke, just eat your food,” Parada scolded. “Oh Izame, come, come sit down and eat.” I pulled out the chair next to Seke’s and helped myself to some breakfast. “So, how did you both sleep last night?”

I choked slightly on my food and swallowed hard. Luckily, Parada hadn’t noticed.

“Fine,” Seke said.

“And you Izame, how did you sleep last night.”

I felt I had no reason to tell Parada and Trenth about my dream so I just replied simply: “Good.”

“Oh really? I found it to very humid and musky last night. I was very uncomfortable. You guys weren’t sweating?”

“Nope,” Seke and I answered in harmony.

The morning went by and Seke was forced to head to work for the day. The day slowly dragged on until it was mid-afternoon.

“Izame?” Parada called from the kitchen while I was sitting in the living room.

“Yes?” I asked when I walked up to her.

“Would you mind doing a few errands for me?”

“No problem.”

“All right, well, first off, I need you to take this list to the market and pick up a few different things. Then, go to the blacksmiths to pick up something, don’t worry, just tell them you’re picking up for me and they’ll know what to do. Ok?” I nodded. “Here’s money for the food. Run along then, I need the supplies for dinner tonight.”

I grabbed the large woven basket used for holding the food and put the list and coins in the pocket on my side. I rushed from the door and out onto the streets. It was a beautiful day outside with white puffy clouds covering the sky making a lot of shade down the bustling streets. I wandered happily to the market and grabbed: a few eggs, a couple loafs of bread, meat, fruit, and different seasonings. Once I had finished and paid for everything I started down a less occupied road to the blacksmiths. I watched as the clouds silently passed over my head until I came upon what looked to be the place.

In the shop a young man was working at a crop scythe. You could tell he was a few years older than me. He had short black hair spiked down and out around his face messily. He was tall and lanky, yet bulk and muscular. His topaz eyes trailed over to me staring directly at him.

“Can I help you?” He asked.

“Oh,” I was startled by his expression: it was apathetic and I couldn’t help but feel embarrassed for staring. “Yes, I’m here to pick up something for Parada.”

“All right, just follow me in the back for a second.” I did as he told and trailed behind him awkwardly into the back area. The lighting was darker and it was slightly humid from the furnace. “Here you are.” He said as he handed me a large knife.” I took it cautiously and placed it gently into the basket to avoid cutting any of the produce.

“Thank you,” I went to reach into my right pocket to pull out the money owed.

“Hey,” he blurted. “What is that?”

“What’s what?”

“That thing on your right arm,” he said while pointing a finger to my bracelet.

“My bracelet?”

“Where did you get that?”

“Well, I don’t know really, but I’ve had it ever since I can remember.”

“How far back can you remember?”

“Six years.”

“Isn’t that when you first came here?”

“…Yes,” I spoke, almost hesitantly. His questions felt a tad personal and it felt like he was trying to read me. I just didn’t trust this guy.

“Can I see it? I’m just intrigued.”

“I’m sorry, but no. I can’t take it off.”

“That’s strange. Doesn’t it get small for you?”

“Actually, I never really thought about it before, but no, it doesn’t get small on me.”

“Hmm…” He hummed in thought as he crept forward.

“Well,” I backed away slowly, “I best get going. I need to hurry home.” I turned and began walking away.

“All right, then,” he said with a smirk. “Goodbye…Izame.”

My eyes shot open wide and I could feel my hearts pulse race rapidly. I jerked my head around, but he had vanished. All I could think was how I never mentioned my name. I shifted and rushed home as fast as my feet would take me. I didn’t look back the whole way home. As I neared the house I slowed to a fast pace. I walked in and gave Parada her things, and then ran as fast as I could to the field to wait for Seke grabbing my spear along the way.

A couple hours past and I had calmed more. I walked aimlessly through the wheat and sat patiently on our rock. It was getting later, but still mid-evening.

“Hey Izame!” I heard Seke call from behind me. He came and sat on the rock beside me. “What’s up?”

“Nothing,” I said.

“You’re lying.”

“Huh?”

“Something’s wrong. What is it?”

“First the dream, and then that guy...” I spoke quietly.

“Whoa, hold on, what guy?” Seke plopped himself down on th rock beside me.

I turned to face Seke. He was worried and concerned, as was I. “Parada had me run errands today. I went to the blacksmiths to pick something up and the guy working there, he...” I paused, the memory made my insides shutter.

“What did he do?”

“It was strange. He started by asking me about my bracelet, but in a weird sense. It felt as if he was-was trying to figure something out about me. But the creepiest part was that he...” I paused, unsure of what to say.

“Tell me.” Seke insisted.

“He knew who I was.”

“That’s all?”

“What do you mean ‘that’s all?’ I never actually told him my name.”

“Izame, practically everyone in town knows who you are, because of what happened six years ago. I can’t believe it’s been that long, either. Izame, don’t worry, I’m sure it’s all just a misunderstanding.”

“Yeah, I suppose you’re right. I’m just being paranoid.” I agreed, and as I spoke the bright sun was slowly engulfed by large gray clouds flying in like a swarm of bees. I was very peculiar how fast the sky changed from a lively blue to this now dull gray. Seke noticed it too. We stood to our feet and watched the sky waiting for the abnormal weather to pass, but instead, it only got worse. The clouds became charcoal black colored and soon the rain followed. The drops descended down and pulverized the earth. My hair was sopping wet. Seke grabbed my wrist and pulled me along as we ducked and ran for cover at the edge of the forest. All I could hear was the hard downfall of the rain and Seke’s quiet panting.

The next thing that I saw hit me with full force. The clouds, the rain, and now a large group of stranger covered by cloaks heading straight for Sudor.
Déjà vu.