#o1 - Comfort
When he heard fleetingly from a passing lab tech that Don had been severly hurt in an explosion, and stumbled upon his feet, falling into Stella's surprised but able arms, he realized that he didn't care if the lab found out about them, he just wanted his Don to be safe and near him once more, unharmed and in reach for him to touch.
#o2 - Kiss
Adam was never one for dramatic first kisses, so when Don leaned over the break room table one day and planted a soft but insisting kiss on his lips while they were chatting about sports and other meaningless things, Adam thought that it was probably the best first kiss he'd ever had in his life.
#o3 - Soft
Don knew it was probably irrational and a bordering on the insane side, but he couldn't stop himself from reaching over and touching the skin of Adam's bare arm, because he hadto know if it was as soft as it looked.
#o4 - Pain
Adam fought back at the pain throbbing in his chest, because even though Don had just publically rejected him, he knew that Don would be at his doorstep tonight once again, knew that he wouldn't be able to turn the older man down, and knew that even if it was slowly going to kill him, at least he'd still have Don--if only for a night's fuck.
#o5 - Potatoes
Don grumbles as he sits in traffic, because he knows that he could be at home right now, cuddled up to a warm, sleeping body; but Adam wanted Idaho potatoes, the kind at that onespecific damn supermarket right outside of the city, and Don couldn't resist driving all the way out here to get them just so he could see the gracious and contented smile on Adam's face when he arrives home with a sack of Idaho potatoes.
#o6 - Rain
This is wrong, and they both know it, but Adam's always wanted to kiss in the rain, and Don couldn't resist pinning the younger man against the wall outside of Adam's apartment (and possibly risk a public indecency charge) because Don reasoned that you couldn't have just one kiss in the rain.
#o7 - Chocolate
Don couldn't ever remember chocolate being this provocative, but all it takes is one flicker of Adam's tongue across chocolate-coated lips and Don is dragging the younger man into the bedroom, chocolate included.
#o8 - Happiness
He's not exactly positive, but he's almost certain that he's never experienced happiness like the kind he feels when he's around Adam.
#o9 - Telephone
Don's jaw drops nearly a foot long when he opens up his phone bill for this month, and makes a mental note to tell Adam that maybe they should invest in instant messaging instead (and he's fairly positive that Adam would get a huge kick out of trying internet sex in place of phone sex, and that reassures him that his phone bill won't be quite as large next month).
#1o - Ears
Adam doesn't know what sprung it on, or what the cause of it is, but he can't seem to make himself care about Don's oral fixation with his ears.
#11 - Name
He has no idea what they're going to call it, or even if it's a he or a she, because he's too busy smothering Don with kisses for bringing home the dog that Adam's been pining after for a year when Don got off of work.
#12 - Sensual
Sitting here in the bathtub surrounded by girly-smelling candles, Adam pressed against his chest, sighing contentedly and snuggling closer to his body, Don starts to wonder why he's been protesting against such sensual things, and if there are equally sensuous ways to make it up to the younger lab tech.
#13 - Death
Adam feels his feet slip out from under him, his body hitting the floor with a hard thud, his head slamming back into the cold tile of the hospital ward wall, but he doesn't recognize or comprehend any of it, because Don was supposed to live through the explosion; Mac had kept him alive for so long and it didn't even matter because now he was gone, and Adam wasn't sure that there was such a thing as life anymore.
#14 - Sex
He's pretty sure that there is nothing even remotely comparable to the feeling of Adam's skin against his, breath ghosting and panting against his neck, body arching up into his and mouth spilling forth a waterfall of incoherent words and prickling hot sounds as they reach the end, because they're not having sex, they're making love, and Don knows that it has never been this way with anyone else, and it never can be.
#15 - Touch
Sometimes he can't help himself, and he reaches out, if only to pet silky hair, caress pale skin, feel flesh underneath his fingertips, because he has to keep reminding himself that Adam is okay, that he made it through those assholes capturing him when he was in the same building as Adam, that he's still right here, and he isn't going anywhere.
#16 - Weakness
Don didn't say anything when he was told that Adam was taking a course at the shooting range, because he knows, even without Adam admitting it aloud, that Adam's been feeling vulnerable and weak since being kidnapped in that building, and he's trying to prove to the world and himself that he's not; even though Don thinks he's the bravest man Don's ever met.
#17 - Tears
He tried really hard not to let them fall, not to let his emotions get the better of him, tried to be strong for the both of them, but when he was finally in the room with Don, with all of the beeping machines and IVs and pale white starkness of the sickly hospital atmosphere; when he was sitting beside of Don, reaching out tentatively to grip his hand, Adam let his tears go, because he almost lost this man, and the scare was too much for him to handle.
#18 - Speed
The wind whips at his hair desperately, clouding his eyes so that he has to shield them from the harsh wind by placing his face into the crook of Don's neck, but he can't seem to mind, because he's on a motorcycle with Don, going nearly 95mph down some nameless road, just the two of them, and he's never felt quite as perfect as he does now.
#19 - Wind
This is so much more reckless than he'd like to admit, and he knows that if he was in a clearer state of mind, he'd be giving even a hint of a protest, but he isn't, so he throws caution to the wind and grabs Don by the collar of his shirt, pulling him in for a searing kiss that he hopes will have a sequel.
#2o - Freedom
It's something he hasn't had since the explosion; his mind a constant fortress built to protect him from the "what if"s and the scary truth that he could have died in that bomb, but now that Adam's here, holding him steady and keeping a firm arm around him, he realizes that he doesn't need that fortress anymore, and he can finally have his freedom back.
#21 - Life
Adam knows that way too many people abuse it, take it for granted and waste it, but he spends every day of his life thanking God or whatever deity is around that he wakes up every morning to a certain Donald Flack Jr., and that even if he isn't ready to say it, his life has finally found a deeper meaning.
#22 - Jealousy
He may have been doing it at the request of Adam, and because neither of them felt comfortable enough to come out yet so at least one of them had to keep up appearances, but as soon as Adam saw Don flirting shamelessly with that female detective Jennifer--or Angel, or whatever her name was--he found that he couldn't stop himself and stormed out into the hall, gripping Don's arm firmly and dragging him into a supply closet the second she had left.
#23 - Hands
Because Don has his oral fixation, so Adam is allowed a fixation too, and he finds that he loves, absolutely loves Don's hands, no matter what they're doing (though he prefers for them to be on him in some way or another).
#24 - Taste
It's something inexplicable, indescribable: cinnamon, warmth, sugar cookie, mint, fresh toothpaste, and something distinctly Adam, and it sounds weird and maybe a little bit disgusting to taste, especially if all of those are wrapped up into one, but they never are, because it's Adam and his taste changes every single day (but the thing distinctly him is always there) and Don finds that he loves it more than the damn chocolate.
#25 - Devotion
Maybe it's stupid, maybe it's meaningless, and maybe some people would rather just go about their own business, but when Adam shyly asks Don to sit on his roof with him that evening and watch the fireworks, Don finds that he doesn't want to do anything else, happily giving up his night's plans so that he can sit on Adam's rooftop with the young man and watch fireworks.
#26 - Forever
It's a hard word to say, because it's laced with double entendre, promises of heartbreak (there is no such thing as forever) and pain for everyone involved, but when Don whispers, "Forever, Adam," in his ear after they've made love that night, Adam can't find a reason to not believe him.
#27 - Blood
Coating him, sticking to his skin, face, ears, hair, blanketing him in an unseen terror; the blood is everywhere, and when Don sees Adam after they recover them from the hostage situation, he has to find a private place to vomit afterwards because he's never felt as sick as he did when he saw all of the blood.
#28 - Sickness
Don told him that they hadn't been kidding when they said it was cold in New York during the winter time, but Adam hadn't listened to him, and when Adam had gone into the field, he'd gotten so cold that he came down with a pneumonia nearly a day afterwards, and of course Don was left to take care of him (and even though he was grumbling most of the time, he secretly loved taking care of Adam like that--it felt so domestic and right).
#29 - Melody
Just a song, just a bunch of notes and harmonies thrown together to create something nice to listen to, but when Don sidles up to him and quietly asks him to dance, Adam thinks that maybe it's more than just a melody; maybe it's a promise that everything is going to be okay.
#30 - Star
He never could understand why Adam loves the stars so much, why he loves to sit atop the roof of his apartment building and just stare at them, but the night that Adam asks Don to stargaze with him, Don thinks he may finally see why it's so great--and he isn't thinking of the stars, exactly.
#31 - Home
It's just a small, domestic white house, with a pearly white picket fence, calm and dull neighbourhood (good for raising kids), with a nice green front yard that's absolutely perfect for a dog; it's just a house, in a stepford community, but he's moving into it with Don, and Adam thinks that it's not just a house, it's a home.
#32 - Confusion
"Maybe we should have thought about this," Don mumbles, rubbing at his head as Adam mimicks his actions; because apparently, there was more to this "kissing" thing then they had first thought, and now they sit, confused on what they did wrong--because it had looked right when they had started.
#33 - Fear
He'd been afraid before, in fact, he'd been afraid many times in his life (like the time he'd been in that explosion), but he'd never been as afraid as he'd been when Adam was held hostage in that damn building, and he was powerless to do anything about it.
#34 - Lightning/Thunder
Adam knows that he shouldn't laugh, he really, really shouldn't, but he can't help it when he lets out a quiet chuckle as Don crawls further into his arms, clinging to his waist and burrying his face in Adam's neck when a particularly loud shock of thunder rumbles outside.
#35 - Bonds
Doesn't know how it happened, or just when it got so strong, but he smiles the day that Don asks him over to shoot some pool, rather than Danny, because it may just be a friendly bond right now, but bonds are tight and hold people together, and Adam quietly prays that this bond will pull them closer just another inch.
#36 - Market
It's so domestic, and they both know that, but neither can stop grinning from ear to ear the first time that they go shopping together at the supermarket for groceries for their home.
#37 - Technology
Sometimes technology isn't always as great as everyone makes it out to be, Don thinks, tugging with unabashed frustration at the bulge in his jeans as Adam sends him some veryinteresting pictures via instant messenger, but it wouldn't be so bad if they made a more hands-on version of instant messaging.
#38 - Gift
It's not the best (and he knows that, but dammit he tried really hard), and he swallows down the lump in his throat when he silently hands over a very messily wrapped unintelligible shape to Adam at the company Christmas party, but he finds the courage to smile when Adam's eyes widen and gleam, and the grin that spreads on his face radiates the whole room (at least, to Don, it did).
#39 - Smile
Something so simple shouldn't be as beautiful as this, but Adam realizes that sometimes, there are things in this world that are just so inexplicably beautiful that you can't help but feel honored when you see it, and Adam would much rather bask in the grace of Don's smile than have to live without it.
#40 - Innocence
He has to bite back a laugh when he sees Adam's face as he opens up the picture Don just sent to his cell phone, and when Adam looks up at him and their eyes lock, Don breaks the scorching stare to look around and whistle innocently as he strolls down the hallway to give news to Mac about their case.
#41 - Completion
Yes, it's cliche, and yes, it's totally overrated, but as he lies here with Adam curled up beside him, sleeping soundly, a poster child for the angellic; rain beating against the window faintly, serenely, Don notices that this is what it feels like to be complete.
#42 - Clouds
Fluffy, white and bouncing lazily across the sky, Don glances up and idily watches the clouds roll by, feeling the wind gently blow by them every so often, the grass like polyester underneath his legs, his fingers stroking soothingly through the mop of brown hair ontop of Adam's head.
#43 - Sky
Adam wasn't sure if he'd ever really noticed the sky like this, but sitting here at these iron-wrought tables at the top of a nameless skyscraper in the middle of New York City with Don, Adam muses that the sky really is a beautiful thing.
#44 - Heaven
He remains quiet, the strongest of the bunch even though Don was his lover, so he has every right to cry, should he feel the need; but he doesn't, and he remains silently hovering above Don's casket, watching them lower his lover into the ground, and he can't stop the slow smile that spreads across his face--because Don isn't suffering anymore, he's in Heaven now, and with any luck, Adam will be joining him soon.
#45 - Hell
He hadn't meant to cheat on Adam, it was a mistake, really, and it was only the one time, but when he shows up at Adam's doorstep, begging to explain himself, Adam slams the door in his face with a thick, "Go to hell, Flack," and he hasn't ever called him Flack, and Don thinks that he's already there.
#46 - Sun
It's blistering, scorching and hot, making Don's clothes stick to his body in the most delectible of ways, and when Don heads into the shower room to take a much needed shower, Adam silently thanks everything above that the sun was out today as he hurriedly follows after Don.
#47 - Moon
He can see the moon through the open drapes, shedding its light upon the royal blue carpet of Adam's bedroom, coating his half-naked form tangled in the sheets beside Don, and Don feels his breath hitch, because he couldn't ever remember the moonlight being quite this beautiful.
#48 - Waves
It's not often that they get to do this, and the waves crash harshly against Adam's bare legs as he falls freely back into the ocean, grinning when he feels a warm and slick body slither up and wrap itself around him from behind, Don pressing his face into the crook of Adam's neck as they let the waves wash over them softly now.
#49 - Hair
"I'm sorry, Don, but it has to go," Adam says, fingers fluffing the too-long bangs hanging into Don's eyes, and Don is about to ask why when Adam beats him to the punch with the threat of no sex until it is gone, and Don can't seem to remember why he even let it get this long in the first place.
#50 - Supernova
It kind of feels like a supernova the moment that Don bends down on one knee, in the middle of this huge, fancy restaurant, and Adam knows it's a little girly to stumble through the "Yes" he gives Don when he nearly tackles the man, crushing their lips together in a heated frenzy, but Adam doesn't care, because it feels like his universe has finally come together, and maybe everything is going to be okay.
