W.O.M.A.N [A Sirius Black Tale] P.A.R.T 1.5

Title: W.O.M.A.N [A Sirius Black Tale] P.A.R.T 1.5 [Wonderfully Omniscient, Magnificently Addictive and Necessary; very Necessary.]

Sirius had known something was wrong as soon as his canine self had entered the temporary living arrangement he had claimed as his own. Something seemed gentle, like the Shack was softer somehow.

At first he didn’t understand; if someone was there then it would be a danger sign, not producing a welcoming radiation. However, confusion turned to curiosity when he spied a line of clarity through the dust on the wall before five fingerprints appeared along a claw mark.

Who was there?

‘Only one way to find out’ he thought, his state of mind present enough (thanks to a rare full stomach) to change into Padfoot once more, forever thankful to the powers at be and Remus for his alter ego.

Without dwelling on it; acting and not thinking, Sirius scampered up the stairs and bounded through the corridor, ready to pounce on any intruder that may be in his pitiful bedroom.

Only to stop dead in his tracks.

Because it seemed as though he’d just stepped across the threshold of reality and fantasy.

Like a dream, Annixia Dexter was curled on top of his covers, her eyes closed gently and breathing even, shielded by her scarlet coat.

Was this for real?

Automatically it seemed, his body reacting to hers, he found himself once again a man walking in desperation towards his fiancée, his steps silent and body fluid as he sank down beside her, simply staring at her beauty.

His imagination had not done her justice; her bronze skin, ash curls, crimson lips... how could he ever match what God had created?

It was then his silver eyes spied two wet trails cascading down her rosy cheeks, leaking from between her heavy lids and catching momentarily on her dark lashes before falling heartbreakingly.

Sirius felt his heartstrings rip painfully and wanted nothing more to take her captive in his arms and never let go. Unfortunately, lest he disturb her, he had to settle only for brushing away her pain with a callused thumb.

But it seemed his touch affected her as much as hers did him and, despite his blind panic, Sirius found himself frozen and unable to move as her golden eyes revealed themselves and held him in place.

For the first time, he cursed her ability to stop his heart, only for it to kick start when she began to speak, her eyes bright with alertness and confusion.

“Sirius?”

He forgot how to breathe.

Annixia sat up after a second’s hesitation and his hand fell away from her face, coming to rest limply beside his stoic self. He simply stared at her, smouldering while she gazed back, confused and shocked, her body alert and mind on edge, goose bumps of recognition spreading along her skin like wildfire, making her hairs stand on end.

Her mind and heart were both going a mile a minute, only in opposing directions, tearing her apart until she could do nothing but gasp. Her frequent headaches made themselves known once more as Annixia felt a slow thudding at in her right temple hat signalled the beginning of an explosive danger within her own health.

What was he doing in the Shrieking Shack? What was he doing so close to her?

What was he doing to her as a whole?

Common sense catching up to her finally, she registered discreetly that her wand had not been extracted from her back pocket and mentally gave a sigh of relief. Whilst always a talented duellist she knew that, physically, she would be no match for him should he choose to attack her.

Attack her.

What a strange notion for her to attach to Sirius of all people, the love of her life.

But, she supposed, had she expected her mind to tell her otherwise? She was a rational person in all aspects of life except for when it came to the one thing that could honestly and completely destroy her.

“Sirius?” Her voice sounded too loud in her ears, and yet so far away...”I-i don’t...I-i can’t...” She took a deep breath, hyper aware of her surroundings and yet so oblivious to her own self. Every particle of dust that fell on her skin created a jolt in her nerves and yet her eyes didn’t leave his form.

She took a deep breath and tried again, reciting something Aurors, upon arrest, are obligated to announce. Something he had taught her; “Sirius Black, you are a Wanted Criminal and, under the Minister Cornelius Fudge’s assessed instruction, as an enforcer of law, i must, and by any means necessary, place you under arrest.”

Her voice shook and Annixia, had she been able to pause on a thought, would have scolded her pathetic self for being so weak and defenceless. She removed her wand from the back pocket of her jeans and held it before her, only slightly shivering, the tip pointed, as steadily as she could manage, at what might as well have been her very own heart.

Sirius watched her silently, feeling his chest constrict to the point that breathing was no longer possible. He couldn’t even register the wand in his face; in fact, he couldn’t tear his eyes away from her face.

She looked so broken. That strong soul of hers, the impenetrable shield...

Had he done that to her?

Annixia barely had the notion to move back as he rose from the mattress, before the thought was lost in a mess of murmured, half piece judgment. Sirius stepped methodically closer to her and she felt more and more like a cornered animal.

What was he doing? Why wasn’t she fighting?

His chest was pressed against her wand and she knew she wouldn’t even have to whisper the words if she didn’t want, she could simply command in her mind the revenge so many wished to inflict upon him.

It would only take one thought.

But she couldn’t. And Sirius knew that.

In fact, he was counting on it.

Gently, he wrapped familiar long fingers around her slim wrist, Annixia attempting to force away the warm, pleasurable feeling sinking in through her skin and spreading. He was so contagious. No longer hesitating, he tugged her close and she stopped resisting when her fisted hands, still holding her wand, were pressed tightly against his hard chest and his strong arms were encasing her again.

How she had longed for this, how she had longed for any contact these past years, while she had been alone and he had been....in prison.

Reality suddenly crashed down on them and Annixia used all the power she could to push him away. The shock of her efforts caused his arms to drop down again and the gold of her eyes were suddenly shining in overbright awareness.

A stab went through Sirius’ heart at the small sign of rejection.

Tears welled in Annixia’s eyes and the throbbing in her temple began to spread like fire through her forehead. She began to shiver again, this time out of hurt and complete and utter...anger.

It licked at her words, the surface seemingly pure fury but underneath it all they both were intuitive enough to know that it was hurt that fuelled her speech...hurt that fuelled her everything as of late.

“Is that supposed to make everything better, Sirius?” She began, her voice raised already, even though she was sure it would have more effect were she to whisper it. But it wasn’t about him at that moment – it was about conveying how she felt and right then, she felt like shouting. “Is that how it’s going to work for you? One hug and suddenly i forget that you murdered our best friends? My best friends? Not to mention thirteen innocent bystanders and the attempted murder of my Godson?”

She needed to calm down and they both knew it. Not often did Annixia work herself into hysteria but whenever she did it tended to end with her collapsing out of pure exhaustion.

But she just couldn’t stop.

“How dare you? How could you?” She bypassed the desperation in her tone that snapped Sirius in half almost and went straight back to anger, storming up to him and grabbing his hands. Sarcastically, synically, she announced in mocking, “What, no knife? I’m surprised at you Sirius Black, i thought you were willing to sink to that level. How disappointing.”

His eyebrows knitted together in a gravitational pull but before a word could worm it’s way from between his lips, she was continuing with a scoff. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her.

“How long?” She barked and he shook his head in confusion, his eyes a silver mesh of puzzlement, “How long were you working for your sworn enemy against those you claimed to love? Since James and Lily married? During your Auror training? Hogwarts? Before you even uttered the words that you loved me, were you planning to worm your way into the very circles of hell and betray everyone that loved you?

James, Lily, Peter; they loved you, Sirius and look what you did to them! Look what you’re trying to do to Harry now – what happened to you? Where the hell did it all go wrong?”

Annixia paused long enough to wipe away the tears, sighting them as a betrayal of her weakness, and took the necessary steps away from him to stand in the middle of the room.

Sirius watched her intently. If only she knew, if only she would shut up long enough for him to tell her! Then she would have a lot less to say, he assumed. But he couldn’t bring himself to resent her belief in his conviction. He couldn’t bring himself to tear away his eyes.

She was so beautiful at that moment in time, despite the fact that every word cut them both deeper than they could imagine.

She didn’t stop, only this time, her voice was softer and filled with every ounce of emotion she had. The tears continued to fall.

“Do you have any idea, Sirius? Do you honestly not know what you did to us all? How you destroyed us all? You may not have taken a wand to me, Sirius Black, but you might as well have finished me off too. Sometimes, i find myself wishing you had.”

Whatever was left of him snapped then and a fire began to burn in his eyes, one that very nearly scared Annixia and suddenly he was in front of her, hands on her upper arms and forcing her against the wall – not painfully, but tightly enough to be uncomfortable.

He shook her once and glared into those eyes, almost having forgotten the feeling of her body against his, despite the previous ‘hug’ they had shared. She was mesmerizing to him in every single way so for the very thought of her dying, especially at his hand, that was enough to make Sirius react.

To make him wilt inside.

“Are you listening to yourself, Annixia Scarlett Dexter? Do hear what you’re saying? It’s one thing to accuse me of being responsible for the deaths of our best friend but for you to even think i could ever-“ He broke off, not even being able to bring himself to finish the thought, let alone say it out loud, “Hurting you is not something i have the strength to even consider, for me to process; for you to say you wish i’d-“ Sirius’ voice broke again and it was then Annixia realized she was breathing heavily, and so was he, in perfect synch.

The feel of his body, still muscular, no doubt from his recent need to constantly escape, sent her pulse sky rocketing and the sudden need to pull him closer overthrew her senses. She only just managed to stay grounded, no doubt due to the hands holding her in place.

“Just don’t, Nix. Don’t say it, don’t think it and don’t you ever believe it.”

Softly, scathingly, she looked right into his fierce silver eyes and, resisting the trembling of her wanting lips, said, “Should i believe you instead?”

“In your current condition, i doubt you’ll even listen to what i have to say, Annixia, even if it is the only true account you’ll get to hear.”

“My current condition?” She scoffed, offended by the insinuation, “Surprisingly Sirius, i don’t appreciate the implication of incompetence you seem to associate with me, particularly when you consider the fact that for twelve damn years of my life i’ve been surviving without the one person i know i can never not love.”

Sirius’ eyes widened slightly but continued to burn into her soul. He began to feel his throat scratch and realized if he didn’t get a better hold on himself then he’d be nothing more than a disturbed mess by the time this was over.

And he didn’t want to think about it being over.

“You still love me.” He stated, almost judging her for being so stupid. She shouldn’t love him; she knew it and he knew it, common sense dictated it. And yet nothing was like the feeling that accompanied that knowledge.

She licked her lips and crossed her arms, shaking off his hands which immediately found the wall beside her body, essentially trapping her.

But she wasn’t going anywhere.

This was her chance for closure, and she wasn’t letting that escape her grasp so easily.

“And my subconscious refuses to let me forget it. You haunt me, Sirius. Every night, every time i close my eyes, i remember, i relive it. Every touch, every moment – it’s etched into my very soul, imprinted in my heart, and i can’t shake it.” The tears, again, began fall she quickly swiped them away. “What happened to us, Sirius? We were so strong and now-“ Her voice broke and she took a moment to swallow the gulp in her throat, “-now you’re a escapee murderer and i’m insane for loving you still. But that’s all i know how to do...it’s all i’ve ever known how to do.”

Desperately, she searched his face for answers in her anguish, her moment of pure vulnerability, and found within the laugh lines that she was surprised he had obtained, a reason for her complete and utter love for him.

Something she could only explain to another as it had once been described to her:

As everything.

Surprising herself, she was found to be considering something she had never dared to before; his innocence.

After all, he had never been fairly tried; there had never been real solid proof that would have been needed for an actual conviction. Everyone had just assumed that he was the Potter’s Secret Keeper, even she had, but what if that wasn’t the case?

What if it was someone else?

“Sirius...” She had to know, before she dare get her hopes up, “I’m begging you to tell me the truth; i need to know the truth, one way or the other.”

He shook his head, she didn’t even need to finish before he was answering, lowering his forehead closer to hers and pleading with his eyes for her to believe him. “I didn’t.” Closing her eyes, she exhaled and bit her lip, shaking her head. He pressed closer to her. “I know it sounds so pitiful in this moment, after everything you’ll have heard, but i can explain, Nixi, i can explain everything.”

He sounded so desperate, so honest, she didn’t know how to reply. Added to that the pounding in her head was becoming more erratic and painful, the only think she could think to say was the very thing that had been on the tip of her tongue for so long now.

“I love you.” Warmth encased him and he closed his eyes, breathing her in. She stepped closer, her hands finding their own way to rest flat against his chest while one of his went to the back of her neck, the other to her hip. She felt so good...

“I love you.” He replied and, despite his best efforts, he found tears escaping his own eyes. He buried himself in her hair and couldn’t stop the sob of pure disbelief and complete relief from shaking his body. Sirius held tighter to her but it wasn’t long before she pulled back slightly and look into those persuasive silver eyes.

“It’s because of that love though, Sirius, that i believe you. I just don’t want to be proved wrong again. I can’t do that, i wouldn’t survive it. I’m sure your explanation is satisfactory but i just can’t hear it right now.” She croaked out and shut her eyes against the total pain that suddenly ran rampant around her head.

“Annixia,” Sirius stepped forward, concern etched into every line of his face, “love, what’s wrong?”

The use of a pet name didn’t help – it was just too much, all of it. She’d been so sensitive as of late, at the mercy of her tyrannical mind that had just been pummelled into nothing but a pile of discarded and broken thoughts. From his escape, to her dreams, to Harry and Remus, teaching, Hogwarts, Lucius Malfoy, Severus Snape, the past, the present...and now this. Everything just seemed to catch up with her and, she assumed, this was her minds way of telling her it couldn’t handle anymore.

That it was going to give out.

Sirius had seen this in her before – Annixia had always been strong and that led to her biting off, quite often, more than she could chew. During the first war, when James and Sirius had gone on a mission for the Order and Lily was pregnant, he’d come back to find her in St Mungo’s being treated for stress, exhaustion and dehydration due to all of her worrying and her constant need to look after others forgoing her own health.

And he had lectured her many times about how dangerous it was.

Trying to shake away the sudden dizzy spell that captured her, Annixia closed her eyes and moved her head from side to side, suddenly colder now that evening had fallen and Sirius’ arms were no longer around her.

She needed to get back to the castle; immediately.

Breathing as deep as she could, though still too shallow for health’s sake, she attempted an explanation: “I-i just can’t – i-“

Like her brain had just been split in two, white hot pain seared through her head and, without her noticing, Annixia’s knees gave out from under her and consciousness slipped through her fingertips.

Sirius’ reflexes kicked into drive and he leaped forward, just in time catch her before she connected harshly with the weak wooden floor and either broke it or something of herself. He lifted her properly, cradled her and made sure the wand was in her pocket.

In a reverse situation of complete irony he used the backdoor as a means of escape and, carefully, as to not raise any suspicions, stole away under the cover of darkness onto the very edge of the Forbidden Forest where he laid her far-too-warm body on the softest patch he could find.

Stealing the wand from her pocket, he took a deep breath and placed his lips to her forehead in a sign of total affection, brushing back her fringe as he did so and simply look at her for a moment. He dreaded leaving her there in the snow, where it was cold and could very well make her condition worse, but he didn’t know what else to do.

Obviously taking her back to the castle himself was not an option.

Sighing, he sent red sparks into the night sky, twice for certainty, and then placed her limp hand around the handle of her wand, making her seem the one that cast the incantation. Help would soon find her and, after squeezing her hand one last time, Sirius had to resign himself to the fact that he could do no more than that.

Only watch as Hagrid discovered her in her scarlet coat and carry her back into the distance.


It's been a while, i know, and the other was a cliff hanger but tada! Here it is. Beautiful banner by LiteraryAddict.
There was a lot of pressure to get this chapter right, i'm sorry if it didn't live up to anyone's expectations but it needs to happen for the story to continue.
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