The Assimilation Program {20}

“That was the longest freakin’ semester of my life!” Ileana yelled, stretching widely. We were stepping out of the locker room into the halls along with the rest of the excited masses. Even the teachers seemed eager to begin their winter break or maybe they were just happy to see us go.

I nodded but stayed silent. I didn’t have to go to work today because they were putting the final touches on the third floor. I don’t know how they did it, but they were ready to open up in three days. Owen suspected that magic was involved.

Roderick’s family was still busy with outdoor renovations and it was beginning to spill over into the other gym. Adrien and I had been meeting enough as it was to prepare for the New Year’s Party so, as horrible as it may sound, I didn’t want to go and see him. Looks like I would be staying home today with Clayton.

“Hey, let’s go to Culvers,” Ileana suddenly said, stopping me in front of my car.

“Sure,” I answered without thinking.

“Cool, meet you there. If you get there before me, go to a booth in the back. We need to talk!”

Well that couldn’t be good. I sat down at the driver’s seat and sighed. If we absolutely needed to talk, it couldn’t be anything good. And if it was something bad, Ileana was bound to get mean.

The nearest Culvers was nowhere near the school which gave me the impression that she wanted privacy. I ordered a butter burger and a shake (not the healthiest things on the menu, I’m sure. I would go on a run with Clayton later to burn the calories off) and went to a seat near the back. Ileana came in minutes later, ordered a meal similar to mine and plopped down beside me.

“Uhg, could you pick a spot where the sun would be more in my eyes?” she complained, squinting at the window.

“Close the blinds then,” I replied, scraping the salt off my fries.

“Thanks for your sympathy,” she grumbled. I watched her twist the blinds down and bite into her burger before she spoke again. “We haven’t talked a lot this semester, have we?”

I shrugged. “We’re both busy I guess. You with Edgar and all your AP classes…”

“You with your three boyfriends,” she continued with a nod.

“What?” I blinked.

“Oh come on. Do you honestly think no one has noticed?” She gave me a look over her burger.

“Who…who are you talking about? I don’t have three boyfriends! I don’t have any boyfriends!”

“Then what is Roderick, Adrien and that Owen guy from PE?”

“Roderick and Adrien are just friends and Owen is my boss at Misty Moons.”

“Uh-huh. Does a friend constantly shower you with compliments or invite you over for dinner or go out of their way to make you laugh?”

“I guess not if I’m supposed to consider you a friend,” I replied lightly. Humor was usually a good way to defuse the ticking time bomb that was Ileana.

She glared at me. “Ha ha, very funny.”

I smiled back. “Is grilling me about people that I’m not dating really how you want to spend the first time we’ve talked in like a month?”

“If we’re not, I’m probably going to leave right now.”

“Ileana…”

“What? I’m happy for you, really! I don’t know what it is about you and these Hidden but they’re all over you. It’s nice to see you finally getting the attention you deserve. Who knows, maybe you can finally stop working out so hard.”

“I don’t work out because I want to be attractive.”

Ileana rolled her eyes and I smiled.

“I do it because I don’t want my mom to start calling me her fat daughter again.”

“Uhg, you need to get away from that woman, Heather. She’s like all the mean girls at our school combined.”

“Even you?” I gasped.

She pinched my arm. “Mean. I think you’re getting it from Boyfriend #3. He just screams I’m a bad influence.”

“Maybe. I’ve also spent more time with Bianca than should be allowed.”

“Hey! I like Bianca…but I will agree with you. That girl can only be taken in short doses.”

We took a break from the conversation to get further with our burgers. Ileana was beginning to relax into the conversation. She pushed her auburn hair behind her ear and wore a content little closemouthed smile.

“So, how have you and Clayton been?” she asked.

“Good,” I answered vaguely, using the breath to sort out my thoughts. “I don’t know. He doesn’t expect anything from me and he seems perfectly happy but…I can’t help but feel I’m letting him down.”

“What do you mean? You think you’re bad in bed or something? Well, it’s to be expected. You probably just started having sex and—”

“I haven’t slept with him!” I hissed, looking back and forth to make sure no one heard me. After a moment, I looked away and muttered. “We haven’t even kissed on the lips yet.”

“Nuh-uh! You seriously haven’t even made out yet? What kind of girlfriend are you? You two have been together for a semester now!” Ileana ranted.

“I know. I know! I want to! I-I really do. I’m just…not sure how to do it. I feel like he expects me to initiate it but…” I trailed off helplessly.

“What? You want my help or something? Well, sorry, but I’m not going to play ‘Cruel Intentions’ with you. Figure out kissing yourself. Just move in one day and I’m sure it’ll sort itself out,” she explained.

“Easy for you to say,” I sighed. I folded my arms on the table and laid my head on top of them, more or less wallowing in self pity for the moment. Ileana continued on with her meal as if I wasn’t there anymore.

I could vaguely see the parking lot through the blinds so when I spotted a familiar figure pass by the window I sat up with a gasp. “Ileana! I thought this was supposed to be you and me time!”

“Huh?” she blankly replied. The door opened at the front of the restaurant and she turned. “Oh. Yeah…sorry about that.”

I continued to stare her down.

Within minutes Edgar wandered over with a cup full of water and sat down beside his girlfriend. “Hello, Heather,” he greeted.

“Hey…” I replied without enthusiasm. I didn’t want to sound rude but…well, this was supposed to be time for me to catch up with my best friend.

Seeing how Mr. Monotone and I weren’t exactly trying to strike up the witty banter, Ileana took it upon herself to get conversation rolling. “So, Heather, I’m going off to Colorado for the break. Want me to bring you back that chocolate you like?”

“Uh, sure. How long will you be gone?”

She sighed. “Pretty much the whole break. I leave Monday and come back three days before school starts again. Guess who has to do their homework in the Rockies?”

“That sucks,” I sympathized. “At least you get to ski, right? That must be fun.”

“I guess…Are you doing anything special?”

“Well, Henry will be staying with us for most of the break—”

“Will Travis come down too?” Ileana excitedly interrupted.

I frowned. “No.”

“Damn.”

“Who are Henry and Travis?” Edgar asked.

“Heather’s older brothers,” Ileana simply replied. “Anyway, what else?”

“I’m going to see fireworks a couple days before Christmas, like always. Then I’m going to a New Year’s Party at Adrien’s home. After that…I don’t really have anything else planned. Work on homework, I guess.”

“Party?” Ileana perked up. This was probably fueling her fantasy that I had three boyfriends. I shouldn’t have said anything.

“Not the kind of party you would be interested in,” Edgar responded. “It’s a black tie affair. The elite of both the Hidden and Human Dimension will be there. If you would go you would do nothing but poorly represent your kind.”

Ileana stuck out her tongue. “Jerk. Still, you know a lot about this. Why?”

“I go every year.”

“Will you go this year?” I asked.

“Yes. I suppose we will see each other there?”

I nodded. “The thing is, I’m going to be performing so I might not be able to interact too much.”

“Ooo, you have to play for the ‘elite of the Hidden and Human Dimension’. What pressure. You must be freaking out,” Ileana teased.

“I’m sure you’re helping her out with such talk,” Edgar intervened.

“No, it really is stressful,” I agreed. “The orchestra…actually, pretty much just Aurore and Adrien want me to make up a piece for the show. I have to write lyrics for Adrien to sing even though I’ve never written lyrics before. It has to be in French too.”

“Boyfriend #2 is demanding ain’t he,” my best friend smirked.

“Boyfriend #2?” Edgar echoed.

“Ileana’s crazy. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about,” I quickly intervened.

There was a sudden pop and Heidi and Parker appeared beside the table. Several people in the restaurant looked over in wonder while I just sort of stared up at them in fear.

“Oh, I think she does,” Heidi said, sitting down beside me on the booth. Parker pulled up a chair to sit at the head of the table. “Please, continue.”

Ileana smiled back fearlessly. “Heather here has three potential boyfriends at the moment. Roderick the Werewolf, who is Boyfriend #1; Adrien the Vampire, Boyfriend #2; and Owen the Witch, Boyfriend #3.”

“And obviously Boyfriend #1 is best, right? No one likes her more than Roderick,” Parker said.

“Yeah, right,” Heidi sneered. “Boyfriend #3 is the one she has to be with. Owen needs Heather.”

“But Heather has had the most interaction with Adrien. If anyone could make a good relationship with her, it would be Boyfriend #2,” Edgar reasoned.

I gaped at all three of them. They were all psycho. If Heidi wasn’t blocking my exit, I would have made my escape by now.

Ileana was drinking this all up. From her twisted perspective, this was probably some crazy, real life soap opera. She smiled at me and then turned to the three glaring Hidden. “Obviously you three have strong opinions on this.”

“Owen is my best friend.”

“Roderick is the best person I know.”

“Adrien has been cheated out of good things all his life.”

“Then you all really care about what Heather here decides,” Ileana reached over and grabbed my hand. All their eyes turn to me expectantly. I writhed in the awkwardness.

“I say we place bets,” Ileana offered. “I’ll be the bookie. Whoever backs the one that Heather declares as her boyfriend gets all the money. What do you say?”

Despite my utter shock and mortification, I managed to lean forward and hiss into her ear. “You’re gambling on my emotions?” I hissed.

“Yes, I am,” she replied easily, pushing me back to my seat. “Here are the rules, you three. You can’t influence either Heather’s or the three boyfriend’s feelings in anyway. If you do, you have to pay me double. Next, no one is allowed is allowed to know of this bet outside of us. Finally, you are not allowed to back out once you place your money in the pot. So, you three still interested?”

“Deal,” Heidi answered without hesitation. “How much?”

“How does a hundred bucks sound?” Ileana offered.

Parker smirked. “Two hundred or I’m not interested.”

“Fine, do you two have the money?”

Both Heidi and Edgar nodded. I inwardly groaned.

“Then we all have a deal. Come to my house with the money by tomorrow.” Ileana shoved Edgar out of the booth and brushed herself off calmly. “Let’s go, Heather. I think that was enough bonding for today.”

Heidi slowly inched out the booth to let me go and I almost ran out of Culvers with Ileana. Now out of sight of the Hidden, Ileana hugged me and let a grin split her face.

“This is so amazing!” she squealed. “You’re in a love triangle…square…shape…thing—oh, it doesn’t matter! This is so exciting!”

“For you maybe!” I cried. “This is horrible! You’re making mountains out of molehills! Nothing is going on between me and the three of them.”

“Yet,” Ileana confidently retorted. “We’re only at the tail end of the first half of junior year. Who knows, maybe your senior year could turn into one gigantic orgy full of hot Hidden.”

“Just shut up,” I mumbled. I began walking towards my car and Ileana followed at my heels.

“Hey, come on. I’ll let you have some of the profits.”

“Not interested.”

“Aw, Heather, stop freaking out. I mean the best, I swear. I’m just a poor, horrible, misguided soul. Ask the principal, he’ll agree.”

I smiled in spite of myself. My best friend jumped on it. “I’m the cruelest, most black-souled person in the world. My heart is made of coal. If I were to give birth, I would create a little spawn of Satan.”

“Oh, come on,” I laughed, nudging her shoulder.

“Alright, I lied. I actually have no heart.”

“Yeah, yeah.” I opened the car door. “I’m going now. Try to fix that black soul problem while I’m gone.”

She laughed and waved. “One last word of advice. Don’t stress over the love shape you’re caught in. Concentrate on the man you do have. I’m sure he’ll appreciate it.”

Pausing for a moment, I turned and smiled. “Yeah, I’ll do that. Thanks. It…it was nice talking to you. It feels like so long since we’ve really spent time together.”

“Yeah…it was certainly interesting. We should do it again sometime. Minus the bets made over human emotion and all.”