-blatently.sarcastic-'s Journal

I am beginning to believe that the saying,'ignorance is bliss', is possibly, the most true, and relevant to my life. Right now, typing away at this jounral entry, I feel numb. It's about here that you may just stop reading, thinking I'm overexagerating and looking for attention, well, I guess I am to some extent, I want recognition, I want friendship.
My brother started taking drugs when he was my age, 15, that was eight years ago. Well, he stopped shortly afterwards, well, 6 months isn't exactly short, but it's a better record than many. But, anyway, let's just say that after 'experimenting', the consequences are the worth the experience.
For the past two years, my brother has been suffering from schizophrenia, or split personalities. In the beginning, it wasn't obvious, so much so, that I didn't even notice a difference. But, as time went on, (yes, he did get medical help), things became worse, and much more apparent. A few months ago, he started having full conversations with himself, well, the person he claims is called Phil. And, if you right now are laughing, I seriously advise you to grow up, since when is any medical condition funny? Well, Phil progressed into other people, various people, four in total. My brother, now knowing that openly talking to these 'people', only earns him more, strong or different medication, has stopped, almost. He now listens to music, basically every waking hour, and considering that he never gets more than 4-6 hours sleep per night anymore, that's a lot of time. He listens to music to try and drown out the voices, which, when not working, he began to tell them to. Sometimes, I'd be able to hear him simply murmuring things under his breath, then it'd be whispering, then talking, and finally onto the rare days when he just broke down. He was never openly violent, he'd simply make threats, or shout and scream. I admit, it scared me, I was, and still am afraid of my own brother. He's unpredictable in his behaviour, and is prone to breaking down.
Three days ago, social services decided to pay a home visit, then had private interviews with every member of my family. Then, they made my brother go for another check-up. He hasn't come back from that. Apparently he's unstable, and is being sectioned until further notice. I know that they're only trying to help, but they didn't even tell anyone, asked no one for permission to go to such extremes. Let me make this clear, my brother has never hit a member of my family (although he has been in fights before), and overall he acted normal. My mum has been crying ever since (not constantly of course), my dad has been close to breaking point ever since, and the number of angry phone calls made over the last few days is unknown.
And to think, I only actually discovered that my brother was suffering from schizophrenia a month ago, sure, I knew he had minor problems like paranoia and anger problems............but considering the area we live in, that's basically the norm. I actually believed that it was a phase, he's 18 for crying out loud. But, I'm angry, angry at myself for being too stupid to care enough about my brother to seriously talk to him about his problems, we haven't had a proper conversation in months, mainly because I was too scared to talk to him. But what if one of the conversations had been the one to help him? I'm not claiming to be some great psychiatrist, but I could have done something instead of being an idiot.
I am however, glad that I now know, because living in ignorance of full problems in my family has made me feel pathetic and worthless. But, the second my brother is released, I'm going to grow a back bone and actually treat him like my brother again. At least, that's what I intend to do, that's what I hope I do.