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December 16, 2007

Talented Authors Wanted For The e-Akatsuki's Good Writers Index

Dear illiterate Quizillians,
I've been searching for a story that doesn't leave me with a bitter aftertaste and the urge to spork it. As you know, that has always been a fruitless search, and more often than not, your name ends up on the e-Akatsuki Inquisition. I get my lulz, but still no story. Obviously, anything besides flaming/sporking on Quizilla! is a waste of time.

Here's where you get the chance to prove me wrong.

I want you to send me your best creation. It doesn't have to be on a particular subject, nor do I have specific rules about content. All I want is some good writing.

Hold it right there...

Don't go imagining your shit-drivel is good writing just yet. Although I'm loose on content, I'm quite strict on style. Here are a few things to keep in mind before you send me whatever you crapped out and tried to pass off as a story.

Submitting Fan-fiction: Guidelines

--Do not dance around the canon to make your story work. If the canon isn't perfectly respected, don't submit.

--There's a 99.9% chance your OC is a Mary Sue. Don't send me Sues. I will spork you.

--If your title was ripped off from your favorite emo song, don't submit.

--If I sporked your friend and you thought that friend was a good writer, don't submit.

--If you are on the HR or MP and/or enjoy the drivel that's on it, don't submit.

--If there are no strong descriptions or style elements in your story, don't submit.

--If you can't pinpoint the themes of your story, and explain how you conveyed them, don't submit.

--If you are annoyingly verbose or if your drivel's written in purple prose, don't submit.

--If the emotions and actions of your characters are plot-driven, don't submit.

If you think you can follow these guidelines, then I would be more than happy to read and review your fan-fiction (and original stories, too). If you have potential as a writer, your name will be listed in our Index of Good Quizilla Writers, where Quizillians will be invited to read and discuss your work.

You will receive feedback on your work from the members of e-Akatsuki whether you make the list or not. If you're up for reviews, I welcome you to submit.

As for you lucky few who will make the list, I can guarantee there is great satisfaction in being recognized by the toughest critiquing organization on Quizilla.

Send me your best.

Thank you,
Akatsuki-Council

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