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November 5, 2005

Mendokusee...

I... just felt like writing something here.

*crickets chirping*

Uh... Yeah.

Felt like writing something.

I'm repeating myself, aren't I? ^^;

My lil' sister Mitsura (sorry, not gonna call her by her real name here, though it's real pretty! ^^) is sleeping on the bed next to the computer I'm on (aka on my mum's bed, cause the com is in here room.)

She... looks so peaceful in her sleep, though her brows are slightly lowered into a frown...

I'm always worried about her.
So worried that some times it makes me feel nauseous. It's because she lives in a children's home 4 hour drive away from where I live with my mum...

She, uh... She's got cut marks on her wrists and she smokes, drinks alchohol and has tried some drug (I don't remember what and don't want to).
I care for her very much. She's my younger sister (by 1 year 5 months and almost 4 days) and I should've taken better care of her.

Heh... How can you take care of someone when that someone beat the shit out of you almost every night?
Yes, I got abused by my little sister.

It's embarrassing.
And painful too, both physically and mentally.

How can someone hurt a person they love? When we fought, I was always on the defense and tried to deflect the onslaught of blows that my generous sister showered upon me.

Thank God we haven't fought since June... Sure, we bicker. Hey, that's what siblings do. I'm just glad we haven't fought.

I'm just glad we haven't...


Uhh... Why do I always write too much about my personal life in these kind of journals???

Mendokusee... (how troublesome...)

-Ayume

P.S. And I don't do those things my sis does. We're like total opposites, but when we're on a good mood we can have so much fun. She's got a good sense of humor. ^^

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