Since I was six, people have always told me how easy it is to change. I really believed them. It's never been easy for me though. I've always had an extremely hard time changing. I wanted to awesome in school. I never could be. I could passs my classes easily, of couse, but I couldn't BEHAVE, and be PERFECT in school. And because everyone told it was SUPPOSED to be easy, and it wasn't, I started to believe there was something seriously wrong with me. I kept trying though. But after a while of lies and broken trust, I started to lose faith in myself. I can't turst myself anymore. Now I lost a certain kind of courage, so I stop trying anything. I didn't want to mess up again, and I didn't my heart to be broken AGAIN, so I gave up.
Not to mention the Core Belief that everyone hated me, nd that the world was against me. That comes from a long time ago, before my parent knew about my ADHD, when they where they were threatening to send me to a Foster Home.(sucky luck.)
That's it for me opening up my soul. Wow, that was really emotional, wasn't it? Wow.
Nyash
Kimmie~
P.S. I cried a fucking ocean last night. Now my eye hurts. Also, I feel like shit, Ugh.
Comments
@ 12:46 AM EST on Monday, August 13, 2007, ninjaXoXskillz said:
aww. dude. thats harsh. i mean im not all sunshine & fucking daisies, but still. i hella understand what your going through. if you want to talk to someone, im always here. im different. i dont judge people whos aspects in life are unfamilliar to others. ive gone through what you are, & im always here. i hope that you might take this either as an open window to help. or a new friend. even so, sometimes a stranger is the best person to talk to. & who knows, maybe they wont be so strange after wards. :]@ 3:33 PM EST on Saturday, August 11, 2007, nightprincess11 said:
i was taking thoughs pills since i was 5 but they never worked so they keept adding it higher so the doce was as high as it would go. and then like i wasn't eating sleeping or doing anything so therer for they took me off and i still have an eating problem b/c p[pl have to tell me to eat b/c i will never know if i'm hungry and stuff i lost that . and they say part of my brain died thanks to the high doceage lol so good luck with them tell me what kind there going to give u so i can tell u the risks that come with it . take heed they don't all ways tell u what happends.