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July 7, 2007

Of course I miss you.

Cassie and Shannon. Sorry I was so selfish. Never again will I forget. It was your time, and I wanted you to myself. Now you're gone, along your sister. I NEEDED you. When you went it was because it was your time. But, Shanny baby, it wasn't yours. I miss you both. Last night as I put Duke in his kennel I started sobbing. Choking back tears now actually. I went upstairs, fell to the ground, and lost control. I tore apart the drawers until I finally found them. Then, I found the pictures. Sitting on stairs crying. Wow. Then my dad gets freaked out. "Kaylan, Kaylan Honey, are you okay? Did you fall?" No. I didn't flipping fall. You put my DOG down. DUH. Now, in my room crying, mom gets up asks "Whats Wrong?". God I hate that question. She stayed up with me for an hour as I choked everything out. Basicly everything down below. "IMISSCASSIEANDSHANNON!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The day she told me they were putting her down, I screamed at her. "INEEDEDHER!" She was all I had left. "Now I'm stuck with a retarded dog and an evil cat!" I told her last night through tissues and sobs, "I want my two best friends back. I just wanted her to be with me through high school. I want to tell them things I can tell no one else. I wanted them to know about the evil whores, stuckup jocks, art freaks, best friends, breakups, makeups, and everythinginbetween. But now that'll never happen. They're gone. I can't fix it. "We're not getting anymore for a LONG time." What the FUCK.I need A puppy, I need someone to grow up with again. Cassie got me through nine years. Shannon, seven best years ever. Then she said, " know I said that, but maybe on down the road..." I stopped her right there. "Mom, on down the road? What 2,4,6 years? I need someone. Kim said she was going to get that Irish Setter puppy for Christmas, please. I need it. That'll give me time to get over this. I just need to raise one. To ride around in my car with, to take to college with me, to my my bestest buddie who loves me unconditionally. "I'm just going to sit here with no one to talk to??? No one to lick my face when I'm at everyemotionpossible. No one like Cassie or Shannon to hear my crying When the prom queen pours punch down my dress. When my boyfriend leaves me for the cheerleader with a flat chest. Or whatever the hell happened or didn't happen. When I cried, they'd be there for me. I remember running around the backyard, "Fetch Cassie!". She actually did it. :] I remember being with Shannon and being her twin. No other Irish Setters in the state. You're my One -of-a kind baby. I miss you... bad. Poor Duke, he's so lost. First Shannon last August, now my Cappy doggie. I yelled I didn't want him. But thats not fair. I do. He was abused before we got him. My sister got him from the shelter where she got Daisy, Foxy, Bociefus. First my Grandparents had him, then my sister, then my parents let us keep him. That wasn't fair. He is a little "wrong in the brain", but he's my little stalker. Now mom's yelling GETOVERIT! IMISSTHEMTOO! Shut up. I told you I needed my time and I'm fucking taking it. Cassie, Cappy, Cass, Cassiebaby, yaoldmutt. I love you. Shannon, Shannybaby, Shanny, Salmon, moose. I love you. I hope someday we'll meet again. in heaven.

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