Latest Journal Entry
June 28, 2007
This is my first adventure with Magic Mushrooms...
Alright so, last night my little brother (coolest kid in the world) graduated grade 8. Holy shit, gr.8 grad is
the lamest thing in the world.
Anyways my 3 friends that I haven't seen in two months and one I haven't seen since New Years (they live in a town an hour away) came over. As did my ex-best friend/ex-boyfriend who I'm still good friends with. (Confusing, I know).
My brother and I are best friends and so my friends are his friends too.
We decided it was hot and went to the beach for a few hours (it was about 10PM by this point). That was fun, water was freezing and there's a huge fountain thing at the waterfront so we stood under there and it was like it was raining.
We got home at a bit after 12 and were all chilling out laughing and drinking Champagne/mimosas (O.J.+Champagne). That was great. We were going to get pot from my older brother when he came home, but he didn't come home so that kind of sucked.
My friend (we'll call him Bob) brought a half-quarter of shrooms, enough for 3 people. I had never done them and neither had my friend "Jane". "Bob" and "Jane" are dating BTW. Bob is a seasoned mushroom eater so the gram-and-a-bit that he got did next to nothing.
Jane giggled manically and babbled about her arms being balloons for a while. I was giggling and trying to bite people for a while.
The first hour or so was great. Then I was sitting on a mattress and my friend "Daisy" was waving at me/laughing at me from a chair. I started laughing a lot and then sobbing. I could not stop crying. Daisy was lauging at my and trying to get me to calm down. The laughter did NOT help. I cried more.
Also for a while before that I was convinced God (I'm an athiest) wanted me to kill myself. I kept seeing scissors and knives everywhere.
So I terrified my friends as I walked around sobbing and crying either at the same time or switching quite often. I was out on my balcony crying when I suddenly got really really hot and thirsty. I started panicing because I thought I was going to die.
I went to the kitchen and drank most of a bottle of water and then poured the rest on myself. I opened another and repeated that. Then I was still really hot and I kept choking on the water.
I decided I needed to get into the freezer so I started taking everything out. I emptied the entire contents and climbed in before anyone notice. Jane found me giggling, soaking wet in the freezer babbling about being hot.
I walked around most of the night giggling, crying, biting thinks, breaking things, touching people and being utterly confused about my life.
The truth is, everything I was doing, emotionally, was me. I just hold everything in. I kept trying to tell people but no one would listen.
It's been 5 months since my ex-boyfriend/bestfriend dumped me and I'm so not over him. I've known him for almost 3 years and I'm fairly certain I'm in love with him.
All night he was flirting with my other friend and it hurt a lot. I really just wanted to cuddle with him :P
I felt really really disconnected after the hysteria stopped and was worried "I broke myself".
There were so many people I just wanted to go outside. I tried a few times too. People always ran after me though ha ha.
So despite what you may think. Last night was amazing. I will definately be doing 'shrooms again. I think I'll be calmer next time. Maybe listen to sober people.
My next step is LSD :)
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