Latest Journal Entry
January 9, 2008
I've been so lately that I feel as if my whole body is going to explode; leaving remnants of skin, muscle, and blood covering the ground before me. I am starting to become somewhat of a worrier, and that worries me (that was odd). Everything seems to bore into my head and just stick there until I do something about it. It's as if I can't feel carefree anymore (at least I haven't in a while).
Stress...why did God make us feel it? I would classify it as one of the worst emotions that can take me over. I feel it every day, whether it is the good stress or the bad stress.
I've been asked to study under a published author once a week for two hours during school. My face must have shown surprise, because when my English teacher asked me, he kind of chuckled at my expression. I honestly don't think I'm that talented. I don't go into any detail at all, and especially my stories on here aren't good at all. Apparently, though, other people think I'm good. I know I have lots of flaws in my writing, such as specifications and immense detail. If I could work on that, then maybe my writing will improve. I think it must be the same as when one hears themself sing, or see themself act on television. At first you think, oh gosh, I sound/look terrible! Another good example is when one hears themself on a phone voicemail. I know I am usually shocked. Perhaps, though, it is just me. Anyway, I'm going to try my best at this "writing workshop" and hopefully the two hours a day won't be taken out of my Math class!
Pretty much, I'm failing Math. I hate to admit it, because my worst fear happens to be failing! =[ I cringe at the thought of actually recieving a 64% on my report card. I don't mean to brag, but I'm a pretty smart cookie...except when it comes to Math! I just don't get it. I need to constantly go in after school for help. I especially freeze on tests. Every time I go into second period I get worried that there will be a quiz or that I will fail the test we are taking that day. I can't wait to get out of school completely (that includes college) just so I can get out of Math classes! They will be the death of me if I'm not careful!
Yesterday afternoon I had my audition for the play that we're doing this year in Drama Club: Meet Me In St. Louis. Anybody ever heard of it? I've seen the movie, and it seemed pretty good. I don't care what it is, though, I just like being on stage. I love the rush. The thumping of my own heart as I project the lines. Anyway...the director this year is my Global teacher, Mrs. Gallagher. She's into acting and all that jazz but she has never directed a play. I think that she'll do good, though, because she seems to know what she's doing. -As a side note, I was disappointed that my music/chorus/select chorus teacher Mrs. Chellis did not have the patience to deal with us again. She is the only one that would do musicals, which Meet Me In St. Louis is not- Mrs. Gallagher tried to make the auditions "as professional as possible" to give us a feel for the real world. This made me a little more nervous. We had to fill out an audition form, have audition times, and go in with a group of four or five. Fortunately, my group consisted of three other gals that I love to death: Emily, Anne, and Ashley. We were supposed to have a guy in our group, Jon (who happens to be my ex-boyfriend!) but he -very much like him- did not show up. I got lucky. The auditions consisted of a monologue of our choice (apparently mine was amazing) and cold reads with the other people in the group. I did think my monologue was quite hilarious (an interpretation of Cinderella from the point of view of an ugly stepsiter!) and the cold reads were a lot of fun. If you didn't know, a cold read is acting a script that one has never seen before. What a thrill!
The end of the day today was absolutely ridiculous. We had a substiute teacher named Mr. Manchester. I had previously had him as a substitute 7th period and had thought he was a pretty cool guy. Well, we're watching Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth in Earth Science. I wasn't too thrilled, but I knew it was almost over so I sat and watched the last half hour or so without care. If you haven't guessed, I'm a Republican and I don't believe in Global Warming. So, after the movie, we were supposed to have a discussion about Global Warming. I'll try to explain this next part to you as best as I can. He starts going on about how Global Warming is a big problem. Then he gets all hushed, but excited sounding. And he admits that he's a democrat. I clenched my fists, knowing what was coming; and I was correct. For the rest of class he spieled about how democrats are right, republicans are wrong, blah blah blah! I don't know why, but my fists stayed clench and I couldn't look him in the eyes. At that time, all he resembled to me was a pink, with his bright pink face and yellow teeth! I was so angered. It was definitely not appropriate for class! I was so ready to just stand up, say some sort of profanity, and leave. But he wasn't worth it. I wish I had at least shot up my hand and suggested he not talk about it any further. What made me really mad, to the point of tears (I did actually cry about this later) is that he kept saying, "I really shouldn't be saying this..." but continued on his pointless rant. He pretty much ruined my day.
On another note, my wrist really hurts. I either sprained it or pulled a muscle in it very badly. This is a cause of an awesome sport I like to call cheerleading. If you're one of those people that think cheerleading isn't a sport, please reconsider. I used to be one of those people! Then I joined the squad and realized that we don't get enough credit; not nearly. Anyway, I was basing a flier and I'm an okay base but I pulled whatever in my wrist, and now it hurts loads. I love cheering though, so it's worth it! I just hope it gets better by Friday when I'll have to base again! xD
Hope you had fun getting into my life.
Maybe I'll do this again sometime.
*Kaitlin.
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