Paperback.Romance's Journal

Wow, its been more than an year since I've been on here. Is anyone still out there? I've decided to start writing stories again. I love writing, but a lot of things have changed for me, I don't have a lot of time on my hands anymore. I'm almost 18, I haven't been here since I was 16! School and work keep me busy most of the time.
I'm going to rewrite all of my stories, since I'm older, (and wiser) Well at least I think I am. I'm going to write new ones too.
Well I guess that's all for now. I'll update later.

I am going to keep writing the story, its just that I have been really stressed out and busy this whole time. Its been more than a month since I last updated, and I am going to update soon. Its just going to be a little bit longer. Probably a week or two.

Things at home are getting better, but its just that everyone is really nervous and stuff. I can't really concentrate on any of the stories I'm writing. I started writing again, just this time more slowly. I hope that everyone can wait.

My brother is having a lot of problems. With gangs and stuff. They have threaten again to shoot at our house. And its all my brother's fault. If he would quit fighting over some stupid girl, nothing will happen. I understand that he wants to protect her or whatever, because her boyfriend was shot to death. He is putting our whole family at risk over her!

Then my parents say that we should move to Fort Worth, since my school is there. But I don't want to leave my home all because of my stupid brother. I have lived in Dallas my whole life, all my other family is here, my friends are here. They are out of their minds. If I were them I would totally kick my brother out of the house. I mean he's twenty, god he needs to grow up.

I'm a teenager, I should be having fun. Not worrying about leaving my bedroom light on too long during the night, because someone could just drive by and start shooting. Oh and my brother was shot like two years ago, on the legs. And he still hasn't learned his lesson. I hate to say this, but next time if it happens it won't be his legs. I love my brother so much, but god he is so stupid and stubborn. He thinks he is better than the other guys, and he thinks he can take them. And his stupid friends are they same way.

This whole mess is driving me crazy. Somebody is going to end up dead. I know it, and then finally when it happens. Everyone is going to be like, maybe we shouldn't do this anymore. And I think thats only going to happen when someone ends up dead. And I just hope its not going to be my brother.

Mine officially sucks. Okay so, me, my brother, and a couple of his and my friends bought a whole bunch of fireworks. We were popping them outside a little while ago, when the police came. They gave my brother a $250 fine, and they took all of our fireworks. My brother left like 10 minutes ago, to go buy some more. Now I'm bored out of my mind. Everyone else is getting drunk and high, I don't want to get involved in all that, because I know I will do something that I will regret later. I locked myself in my room. They keep banging on my door, wanting to come in. This really sucks.  Anyway Happy Fourth of July to you all!

Okay, so I really need help. I'm always making grammar mistakes in my stories. I need someone who is willing to proof read them before I post them. Can anyone help me?

I had a crush on my next door neighbor since I was fourteen. We would always talk and he was really nice. When I turned fifteen, he ask me to go out with him. I said, no because he was older and here thats illegal here. Also because he was, always drinking and doing drugs, and I didn't want to get involved with a guy like that. But I still liked him a lot.

He stopped drinking and doing drugs. Then I turned sixteen, and he asked me out again, I said yes this time. But it didn't work out. I got a boyfriend and didn't really see him that much. Well I recently broke up with my boyfriend. He asked me out again, so I said yeah again. Even though he was involved in a whole bunch of shit, he was really nice. I loved everything about him, his smile. We were suppose to go out last Saturday. But apperently no one knew where he was. His was missing no one knew anything about where he had gone. Well, when I got home today, my brother told me that they found him, he was shot to death. I feel terrible. I can't believe that someone would just kill him. He was just twenty-one, the same age as my brother. I just can't believe something like that happened. I still don't believe it, I just imagine that whenever I go outside, I'll see him there. Like Always.

I hate this, I hate everything. Why would someone want to kill him. And thats not all they actually burned his body to cover up the murder. I just wish I could see him one last time. Everyone knew how much I liked him. Whenever he was out working on his car or something. I would yell out I love you. But my cousin was always there and she would yell out I love you too. I miss him. Life sucks.

For those of you who read my story Someone Like you. I was wondering if y'all think its weird, that she wants a guy thats way older than her. He's not like ten years older than her, only some. I don't want to give away his age, you will later find out in the story.  And if its weirder that she wants her mom's boyfriend. My cousin has been reading my story, and I've been thinking of completely changing it. But she keeps on insisting to keep it the way it is, and that something should happen between Ryan and Jane. I'm not sure if something will ever happen, since if it ever does its illegal.

Anyway, I want to know what you think. If its wrong, or not.

Just click on the link on the bottom. I took all the pictures myself. Those aren't the only ones I have, I only posted those. Hope you like them.

Does anyone like my new story Someone Like You. I was just wondering. I've been thinking if some people do like it then I might continue writing it. If not then I'm still going to keep writing it anyway.

I was also thinking that I might continued Unexpected Love and My So-called life at boarding school. I really do like them and I am going to finish writing, but right now my only focus will be on Someone Like You. So I'm not going to be updating those for a while.

Thank you all for your comments, on my other journal post. Anyway I'm writing again if you hadn't notice. I'm not going to be continuing any of my other stories. I think they suck. Well I might keep writing A touch of tenderness. I am going to keep writing someone like you. I already have chapter three halfway finished. I might even post it tonight. I have chapter three of unexpected love finished but I personally think it really sucks. My so-called life at boarding, yeah well that one is definitely over, as is on the edge of darkness. Well anyway I would like to thank everyone who read my stories. I really appreciate it.

I'm not going to be updating for a while. I have a whole lot of things going on. First my brother is acting all weird and he keeps asking me if I think he's cute. (the perfect question to ask your sister) The some people threaten to shoot at our house.(I really don't want to get shot) My parents are all freak out and are making me stay a week at my older brother's house. Then my boyfriend broke up with me, because he thinks I'm a tease. Yeah right! Whatever, my life is so screwed up right now, I can't deal with all the stress. So anyway no updates until whenever I ready again. Oh yeah and my dog died. Which really sucks and that just adds more stress. Ugh, sometimes I hate life.

Yeah F them. The Mavs are going to kick their ass.

Go Mavs!

Some girl wrote in her quizilla journal that she was tired because no one understood what emo was. I think emo is not a label, but a music genre. I asked her to explain what emo is.

This is her response.

emo is where you cut urself and you where all black kinda like being goth/sk8r/or punk

I'm sorry but I find this really funny. Seriously do all 'emo' people cut themselves. I'm pretty sure that isn't what all emo people . Anyway I don't care what people call themselves they can do whatever they want. For the record I thought being emo has something to do with emotional, but I don't know. I guess it can be whatever people want it to be.


I went to the MCR concert Monday it was awesome. They played all the songs from their new CD and some from Sweet Revenge. I really wanted to hear Demolition Lovers from their bullets CD. There was a moment of silence because of the VT shooting. Everything was dead silent. It was a good show, I spent more than $100 on band merchandise. I was so up close, since I had floor tickets. Mikey looks better in person.

If you don't know me personally then you don't know that  I'm the biggest MCR fan. But right now I'm scared to listen to one of their songs. So I was looking up the meaning to The ghost of you song. Someone posted the lyrics on how they sound reverse. I've known for a long time that the reverse part of the song is really creepy. I haven't had the courage to listen to it. Now I'm even more freak out by what the lyrics say back wards. But I'm also really curious about it, so if someone can do me the favor and go to this website and listen to it for me theimmortalityproject.com. I don't know if it still there. If you do go can you tell me if it does sound as creepy as I say. I know you must think I'm a loser for being scared, but I just am.

I need a banner for my new story A touch of tenderness. If anyone can make it I would really appreciate it.

Anyway, the new chapter is almost finish, I will post it Monday morning. I can't post it tonight or tomorrow because our whole family is going to go spend the night at our lake house and we are going to spend easter there to. I don't have a computer over there and my laptop does have wireless connection, but there is like no connection there. Sometimes cell phones don't work there either.

For those who read my new story A Touch of Tenderness. What did y'all think of it. It took me about three days to finished. Could you tell that it was kinda rushed? I really need your opinions, I don't care if they're bad. I need y'all to tell what was wrong, or if I misspelled something. Or if something didn't make sense. I usually don't finish a chapter in three days, it takes me about a week, sometimes more depends if I'm not too busy.

I really need help on this problem I have. I can't talk to my mom about because she would freak. I don't trust my friends that much. The only person I trust is my cousin, but she's away on vacation.

I have a boyfriend. He's a senior. He's going to the air force once his graduates. I know that after graduation we are going to break up. I care about him a lot, and I might even be in love with him. We have been together for six months. Everything is fine except for on problem, he wants to have sex. I'm just turn sixteen like two months ago, and I'm not sure I'm that ready. I know that some girls my age have already done it, but I'm not like everyone else. I'm scared. He says that he want to get to know all of me before he leaves.

There is about two months before he leaves, and I don't know if I should just get it over with. I really do care about him, but I'm not sure he's the one. He's been really nice and sweet for waiting for me, I think he's getting frustrated. I don't know what I should do.

Here is a picture of my dog. I want to name him Jace, but he looks more like a Mikey, to me.



Here he is trying to bite me. The picture is blurry because he was moving a lot.



Even though he is so adorable, no one can replace my other dogs. I miss them so much.

Anyway, I'm pretty sure I'm not going to write When True Love Happens anymore. I have so many things to do, I can't keep up with all the stories. The third chapter of Unexpected Love is finished. The only problem is that I was in class when I got into the moment. I wrote like 2 pages. So now I have to type and I have a lot of homework. I will post it tomorrow. My So-Called Life at Boarding School chapter 5 is halfway finished. Also a new story I'm working on. It doesn't have a title yet, but its almost done. Yeah so thats pretty much it.

I had two dogs, they were in perfect health. One died about a month ago because of the bad dog food. Then the other one died yesterday. I had one of them for about 8 years and the other one 3 years. Stupid company I am so going to sue them. Its not fair innocent pets are dying because of an effing mistake they made. I have cats too, but none of them ate any of the bad food.
The food was bad since like December and they barley found like in February or March, I can't remember.

I just got a new puppy he's so cute. I don't know what to name him. I was thinking about Mikey, James, or Jace. Which do y'all think is better, or if you have a better name please tell me.

I was think about writing one, since he's so awesome, but then I was like no maybe I shouldn't. I not very good writing fan fictions. I've written them before, but they didn't come out very good.  I really wanted to write a story with a band in it. So i decide to write one about a famous local band. Of course the band is made up, that way I can make the characters the way I want them, and not the way they are suppose to be.

Here is where I need your help. I want to know which band member would you rather date.
Lead Singer
Drummer
Bassist
Guitarist
Lead Guitarist.

I've never dated a guy in a band. So I really need your opinions.

I might consider later on writing a story about Gerard Way. I was thinking with writing one about Mikey since he's even awesomer, but with him being marry and all is just plain weird. I could write one about him, but it would make it harder for me to work with it.