Latest Journal Entry
November 16, 2007
Ok so I know it's been forever since I updated NTL. I am really sorry guys. Everytime I get back to writing something in life happens and I just don't have the free time.
My ex/first love/guy i want to just strangle came back into my life last month. With him he brought a ton of drama and I felt as if parts of my story were playing out in my real life. I also felt like I was stuck in an episode or three of One Tree Hill lol. So if thats any insight to that. But I am working past all that at this point in time and trying to salvage a friendship with him because I just can't handle a relationship with him until he honestly decides to grow up. He isn't stopping by every night taking away from my writing anymore.
Next on my list of things to rain down upon me... My aunt has been sick for a very long time and a few weeks ago she was hospitalized and slipped into a coma. We decided last thursday that she has suffered way to long and decided to take her off of life support. She passed away friday morning. I had to be the rock for my family when I was with them and when I was home I broke down. I was very close to her and had a very strong connection with her. I wanted to let go and I thought I was ok with letting her go but at the same time it was really hard to do. I knew that was what she wanted and it just tore me apart inside. I'm slowly trying to work past the tragedy but it is very hard. I know it takes time but I am one of those people who bottles everything up and never lets things out. I finally reached my breaking point and I am letting everything out that has built up over the years.
Lastly... My mother had to go see a cardiologist. They had to go in and look at her heart. They discovered that she still has a 50% blockage. They can't fix it with surgery so I am having to make sure she eats right and takes her medication daily. I have to be her shoulder to cry on and everything else. Losing my aunt hit her pretty hard on top of all the heart stuff so she has been a big emotional mess here lately.
They say when it rains it pours and it has been pouring down on me for the past two months. Hopefully there will be light at the end of all of this and a big rainbow but this is real life not a fairytale.
I will try to update as soon as possible. I have some stuff written and most of it in my head. I just have a lot of catching up to do with emails as well. Hopefully I will be back on track within the next week. I know everyone will understand. I hope all is well with everyone. Thank you for not forgetting about me while I was gone.
Luv ya'll,
Shana
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