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bleedingwound17's profile
let the flames burn. a writer is who a writer is. I am among the hateful. I am holding on by a thread. depression is real, so are the meds. my words? my voice? does it reach your heart? DON'T take my kindness for weakness. Scream To Be Heard.
- Member since
- Mar 4th, 2009
- Profile Viewed
- 25534 Times
- Last login:
- Nov 9th, 2009
About Me
17 year old girl named Courtney. [No Labels & Judgments] walls up: I'm guarded. Depression [survivor] but with scars on my wrist. writing is being in charge of my own personal insane asylum. this is ugly, this is pain & my lullaby. today I hurt & tomorrow I hope. This is me. In every situation you make yourself an enemy. hate spreads, love grows, just a pessimistic little ray of sunshine. [I'll bleed to death but the world will still want more] eminem-beautiful
Newest Creations
| Type | Title & Info | Average Rating |
|---|---|---|
| poems |
cOnSeQuEnCeS |
4.75 |
| poems |
Mama Says. |
4.75 |
| poems |
[Insecurity]Chambers] |
4.75 |
| poems |
Big [BAD] Wolf, Honestly? |
4.75 |
| poems |
[Halloween] ZOMBIELAND [October 31] |
4.75 |
Friends
Latest Journal Entry
November 9, 2009
Eminem [Thank You For Being Such An Inspiration]
"You wacker than the motherfucker you bit your style from Somebody let me out this limousine (hey, let me out!) Too many mental problems got me snorting coke and smocking weed again "All I see is murder murder, my mind state shit is in my hands, here's your life span" "Gave you all the finger and told you to sit and twirl I think I got a generation brainwashed "OK, I'm going to attempt to drown myself I'm bout as normal as Norman Bates, with deformative traits "A lot of people ask me.. am I afraid of death.. For all the weed that I've smoked - yo this blunt's for you "Have you ever been hated or discriminated against, I have, i've been protested and demonstrated bitch, do your song, keep tellin' yourself that you was a mom, but how dare "Holy or unholy, only have one homie Only this gun, lonely cause don't anyone know me Yet everybody just feels like they can relate, I guess words are a mothafucka they can be great Or they can degrade, or even worse they can teach hate It's like these kids hang on every single statement we make Like they worship us, plus all the stores ship us platinum Now how the fuck did this metamorphosis happen From standin' on corners and porches just rappin' To havin' a fortune, no more kissin' ass But then these critics crucify you, journalists try to burn you Fans turn on you, attorneys all want a turn at you To get they hands on every dime you have, they want you to lose your mind every time you mad So they can try to make you out to look like a loose cannon Any dispute won't hesitate to produce handguns That's why these prosecutors wanna convict me, strictly just to get me off of these streets quickly But all they kids be listenin' to me religiously, so i'm signin' cd's while police fingerprint me They're for the judge's daughter but his grudge is against me If i'm such a fuckin' menace, this shit doesn't make sense Pete It's all political, if my music is literal, and i'm a criminal how the fuck can I raise a little girl I couldn't, I wouldn't be fit to, you're full of shit too, Guerrera, that was a fist that hit you" "Music, reality, sometimes it's hard to tell the difference "The more you, put me through, What you say, what you do, I'ma hunt you down 'til I find you, No matter where you run, I'll be right there, right behind you, in your nightmares, All the flowers, and the candy, All the times that you threw it back at me, You told me you hate me, you're gonna hate me more, When you find out, can't escape me whore" "Spend some time with me, say that you'll be mine Before you make a decision that's life altering "I'm supposed to be the soldier who never blows his composure And it seems like the media immediately "You better lose yourself in the music, the moment No more games, I'ma change what you call rage Tear this motherfucking roof off like 2 dogs caged I was playing in the beginning, the mood all changed I been chewed up and spit out and booed off stage But I kept rhyming and stepwritin the next cypher Best believe somebody's paying the pied piper" "May I have your attention please? "I'm just so fuckin' depressed I just can seem to get out this slump If I could just get over this hump But I need something to pull me out this dump I took my bruises, took my lumps Fell down and I got right back up But I need that spark to get psyched back up In order for me to pick that mic back up I don't know how I pry away And I ended up in this position I'm in I starting to feel distant again So I decided just to pick this pen Up and tried to make an attempt to vent But I just can't admit Or come to grips, with the fact that I may be done with rap I need a new outlet I know some shits so hard to swallow And I just can't sit back and wallow In my own sorrow But I know one fact I'll be one tough act to follow One tough act to follow Copy One tough act to follow Here today, gone tomorrow But you have to walk a thousand miles"
You ain't gonna sell two copies if you press a double album
Admit it, fuck it, while we coming out in the open
I'm doing acid, crack, smack, coke and smocking dope then
My name is Marshall Mathers, I'm an alcoholic (Hi Marshall)
I have a disease and they don't know what to call it
Better hide your wallet cause I'm coming up quick to strip your cash
Bought a ticket to your concert just to come and whip your ass
Bitch, I'm coming out swinging, so fast it'll make your eyes spin
You gettin knocked the fuck out like Mike Tyson
So when you see me on your block with two glocks
Screaming _Fuck the World_ like Tupac
I just don't give a fuck!!
Talking that shit behind my back, dirty mackin
telling your boys that I'm on crack
I just don't give a fuck!!
So put my tape back on the rack
Go run and tell your friends my shit is wack
I just don't give a fuck!!
But see me on the street and duck
Cause you gon' get stuck, stoned, and snuffed
Cause I just don't give a fuck!!
I'm a caged demon, on stage screaming like Rage Against the Machine
I'm convinced I'm a fiend, shootin up while this record is spinning
Clinically brain dead, I don't need a second opinion
Fuck droppin the jewel, I'm flippin the sacred treasure
I'll bite your motherfucking style, just to make it fresher
I can't take the pressure, I'm sick of bitches
Sick of naggin bosses bitchin while I'm washing dishes
I'm going up over the curb, driving on the median
Finally made it home, but I don't got the key to get in"
Makes it too late for cops in tryin' to stop the crime rate
All I see is murder murder, my mind state
Murder, murder, murder, and kill, kill, kill!
Sold a billion tapes and still screamed, "Fuck the world!"
to pop pills and smoke pot til they brains rot (uhh-oh)
Stop they blood flow until they veins clot
I need a pain shot, and a shot of plain scotch
Purple haze and acid raindrops
Spike the punch at the party and drink pop (gulp gulp)"
You can try this at home
You can be just like me!
I'm cancerous, so when I diss you wouldn't wanna answer this
I get a clean shave, bathe, go to a rave
Die from an overdose and dig myself up out of my grave
My middle finger won't go down, how do I wave?
And this is how I'm supposed to teach kids how to behave?
Now follow me and do exactly what you see
Don't you wanna grow up to be just like me!
I slap women and eat shrooms then O.D.
Now don't you wanna grow up to be just like me!
My rap style's warped, I'm runnin out the morgue
I'm not a player just a ill rhyme sayer
That'll spray an Aerosol can up at the ozone layer
A premature birth that was four minutes late
Mother.. are you there? I love you
I never meant to hit you over the head with that shovel
Will someone explain to my brain that I just severed
a main vein with a chainsaw and I'm in pain?
I take a breather and sighed; either I'm high, or I'm nuts"
Hell yeah I'm afraid of death
I don't want to die yet
A lot of people think.. that I worship the devil..
that I do all types of.. retarded shit
Look, I can't change the way I think
And I can't change the way I am
But if I offended you? Good
Cause I still don't give a fuck
To all the people I've offended - yeah fuck you too!
To all the friends I used to have - yo I miss my past
But the rest of you assholes can KISS MY ASS
For all the drugs that I've done - yo I'm still gon' do
To all the people I've offended - yeah fuck you too!
For everytime I reminisce - yo I miss my past
But I still don't give a fuck, y'all can KISS MY ASS"
against, picket signs for my wicked rhymes, look at the times, sick is the mind of the
motherfuckin' kid that's behind, all this commotion, emotions run deep as ocean's explodin',
tempers flaring from parents, just blow 'em off and keep goin', not takin' nothin' from no one,
give 'em hell long as i'm breathin', keep kickin' ass in the mornin', an' takin' names in the
evening, leave 'em with a taste as sour as vinegar in they mouth, see they can trigger me but
they'll never figure me out, look at me now, I bet ya' probably sick of me now, ain't you mama,
i'ma make you look so ridiculous now...
I got some skeletons in my closet and I don't know if no one knows it, so before they thrown me
inside my coffin and close it, i'ma expose it
you try to take what you didn't help me to get, you selfish bitch, I hope you fuckin' burn in
hell for this shit, remember when Ronnie died and you said you wished it was me, well guess
what, I am dead, dead to you as can be"
But we as entertainers have a responsibility to these kids
If I were to die murdered in cold blood tomorrow
Would you feel sorrow or show love
Or would it matter
Can never be the lead-off batter of things
Shit for me to feed off
I'm see-saw battling
But theres way too much at stake for me to be fake
There's too much on my plate
And I came way too far in this game to turn and walk away
And not say what I got to say
What the fuck you take me for? a joke? you smoking crack?
Before I do that, I beg Mariah to take me back
I get up 'for I get down, run myself in the ground, 'for I put some wack shit out
I'm trying-a smack this one out the park, five-thousand mark
You all steady trying to drown the shark
Ain't gonna do nothing but piss me off
Lid to the can of whoop ass, just twist me off
See me leap out, pull the piece out, fuck shooting I'm just trying to knock his teeth out
Fuck with me now, bitch, let's see you freestyle
Talk is cheap, motherfucker if you're really feeling froggish, leap
You're slim, you're gonna let him get away with that?
He tried to play you, you can't let him 'scape with that
Man I hate this crap, this ain't rap,
This is crazy the way we act
When we confuse hip-hop with real life when the music stops
I'm not what you think
I appear to be fucked up
Mentally endangered
I can't stay away from a razor
I just want my face in a paper
I was happy having a deal at first,
Thought money would make me happy but
It only made my pain worst,
It hurts when you see your friends turn their back on you dawg
When you ain't got nothing left but your word and your balls
And you're stressed from the calls of your new friends
Beggin' with they hands out
Checking for your record when its selling
When it ain't, that's the end, no laughs
U slam into the wall and you fall
Out the car, trying to crawl with one arm
About to lose it all in a pool of alcohol
If my funeral's tomorrow, wonder if they would even call when the music stops
Instigators, turn pits in cages
Let loose and bit the neighbours wrist to razors
You all don't want war, you want talk
Music's changed my life in so many ways
Brains confused and fucked since the 5th grade
Voices in my head, I'm going in shock,
I'm reaching for the glock but the music stops"
The more it makes me wanna come back to you,
You say you hate me, I just love you more,
You don't want me, I just want you more,
I buy you flowers, you throw 'em at me,
I know it's sad but it's making me happy,
The more that you slap me, the more that it turns me on,
Cause you love me, and I love you more.
It's sick, but who could ever predict,
We'd be doin' the same shit,
We say we do it for our baby but we don't,
We do it for us, it's lust,
Cause neither one of us trusts each other,
So we fuck 'til we bust,
Then we cuss each other, out,
We know what it's about,
Shout 'til I throw you out the house,
You throw me out the house,
I throw you on the couch,
Punch you in the mouth,
Fist fight 'til we turn this mother OUT,
And apologize after,
Laughter, pain, it's insane,
We're back in the same chapter again,
And it's sad but it's true,
When I'm layin' here with you,
There ain't nothin' anyone could ever say ever do.
We're liein' to ourselves,
That's the beauty of it yeah,
Cause we truly love each other,
That's why we always fight,
And all we do is shove each other,
Every other fuckin' night,
And it's clear it ain't gonna change,
It's pent up rage,
We both have,
We both feel like we've been upstaged by someone else,
We've both been,
Someone else's someone else,
Problem is neither one wants help,
It's an addiction and it can't be fixed,
Our family's mixed up,
There's a baby sister in the mix,
And it hurts cause the pieces to the puzzle don't fit,
And anybody who thinks they know us doesn't know shit,
And they're probably just tired of hearin' it all the time,
On every song, every lyric, and every rhyme,
All the hoopla, all of the whoopdy whoop,
What you put me through, fuckin' whoopdy doo,
But I won't be made a fool of,
If this is true love,
You wouldn't do what,
You did last time,
You wouldn't screw up,
This time,
Cause this time girl,
I'm telling you what,
You do it again I'm fucking you up
I never thought I'd find someone to be mine
Lord knows I was right cuz you just crossed the line
Spend some time with me, say that you'll be mine
I used to say I never met a girl like you before
Still ain't got a fuckin' clue as to who you truly are
And just as you halt and you turn and you start to leave
You hear them words echoing, almost haunting, that taunting ring"
Even though I hold the weight of the whole world on my shoulders
I ain't never supposed to show it, my crew ain't supposed to know it
Even if it means goin' toe to toe with a Benzino it don't matter
I'd never drag them in battles that I can handle unless I absolutely have to
I'm supposed to set an example
I need to be the leader, my crew looks for me to guide 'em
If some shit ever does pop off, I'm supposed to be beside 'em
That Ja shit I tried to squash it, it was too late to stop it
There's a certain line you just don't cross and he crossed it
I heard him say Hailie's name on a song and I just lost it
It was crazy, this shit went way beyond some Jay-z and Nas shit
And even though the battle was won, I feel like we lost it
I spent too much energy on it, honestly I'm exhausted
And I'm so caught in it I almost feel I'm the one who caused it
This ain't what I'm in hip-hop for, it's not why I got in it
That was never my object for someone to get killed
Why would I wanna destroy something I help build"
"And since birth I've been cursed with this curse to just curse
And just blurt this berserk and bizarre shit that works
And it sells and it helps in itself to relieve
All this tension dispensin these sentences
Gettin this stress that's been eatin me recently off of this chest
And I rest again peacefully (peacefully)..
But at least have the decency in you
To leave me alone, when you freaks see me out
In the streets when I'm eatin or feedin my daughter
To not come and speak to me (speak to me)..
I don't know you and no,
I don't owe you a mo-therfuck-in thing
I'm not Mr. N'Sync, I'm not what your friends think
I'm not Mr. Friendly, I can be a prick
If you tempt me my tank is on empty (is on empty)..
No patience is in me and if you offend me
I'm liftin you 10 feet (liftin you 10 feet).. in the air
I don't care who is there and who saw me destroy you
Go call you a lawyer, file you a lawsuit
I'll smile in the courtroom and buy you a wardrobe
I'm tired of arguin' (of arguin')..
I don't mean to be mean but that's all I can be is just me
Points a finger at me (finger at me)..
So I point one back at 'em, but not the index or pinkie
Or the ring or the thumb, it's the one you put up
When you don't give a fuck, when you won't just put up
With the bullshit they pull, cause they full of shit too
When a dude's gettin bullied and shoots up his school
And they blame it on Marilyn (on Marilyn).. and the heroin
Where were the parents at? And look where it's at
Middle America, now it's a tragedy
Now it's so sad to see, an upper class ci-ty
Havin this happenin (this happenin)..
Then attack Eminem cause I rap this way (rap this way)..
But I'm glad cause they feed me the fuel that I need for the fire
To burn and it's burnin and I have returned"
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo
The soul's escaping, through this hole that it's gaping
This world is mine for the taking
Make me king, as we move toward a, new world order
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here"
