I'm sorry for my...outburst in my last journal entry. I don't know what came over me, but for the most part it's passed. I'm sure everyone who writes can understand the feeling of insecurity when you don't recieve very opimal
feedback for the work you invested hours in and basically being told it's a bunch of lumpy, stinky shit. (Mostly why I hate this site - because of the rating system and how discouraged you get when you get anything below a five star)
The stress from my lack of self-confidence in my writing mixed with the intense pressure of my family and graduating high school kind of kicked me in the arse real hard about a week ago, so I appologize for that. I have my very important presentation that decides whether or not I graduate in June on Thursday and I have yet to prepare my speech...so I could probably hop on that later tonight and tomorrow, as well.
All I can really do is try my best and the rest will follow!
A HUGE muchos gracias to AnaMishTha, JesseGirlMinako, Icee, and Crianna for their lovely pep-talks; they were very much appreciated and very much needed. Thank you, guys!
As for writing, I keep repeating these same ideas over and over again...like, basically the premise of my angst is all the same and I really want to try and stray from that but...I don't know, I'm just not good at plots like I was in 2010. In 2010 I whipped out plots out my arse like no ones' business! Granted, then I did really short, chopping fics that were only 400 words or something.
I'm really glad I have done some improvement, though. (●´∀｀●)
I wish I could do like a side-by-side comparison thing...but, I pretty much slashed and burned all my older work. It would take some digging to try and find anything from back then.
Oh jeez, here's something from 2011 (wow, 2 years ago)
"Celty was so lonely,
she was pretty much an outcast to the world.
She had no head.
She couldn't convey emotions, let alone speak.
But, she managed.
Celty had a job.
She worked for a guy named Izaya Orihara, an information broker in Ikebukuro, Japan.
She also lived with a guy, a black-market doctor, actually. His name was Shinra Kishitani, a glasses wearing man that took nothing less than declaring his love to the Dullahan woman.
But, Celty always thought he was making fun of her.
Poking at the human emotions that tormented her."
oh my god. this sounds like an emotionally unstable 12 year old wrote this for gothic poetry class.
im crying because how was i this bad. WAIT WAIT IT GETS WORSE. http://quizilla.teennick.com/user/00Slaphappy00/profile/
That is my old, old quizilla account. Before coolandironic. Before VampireZombieMonkeyxXx I was 00SlapHappy00 and probably one of the most weaboo 14 year olds that has ever existed. I just want to take my 14 year old self by the shoulders and shake myself senseless. "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, WOMAN. DO YOU KNOW HOW BAD YOU WERE???? HOW WEABOO YOU SOUND???? PLEASE JUST. JUST PLEASE."
I'm embarrassed. It's like I'm embarrassed by my own little weaboo sister except the weaboo sister is me from four years ago. When you think about it, four years isn't that long of a time. I mean, look at where I've gotten in those years improvement wise. On 00SlapHappy00's account I only got 1,043 views on my profile; on VampireZombieMonkeyxXx I earned 64,903 profile views; and then, now, on coolandironic, you guys gave me 91,395 profile views!
Seriously, thank you so much for all your support. (Most of it through How I Met Your Father, which is very kind of you guys to love so much that you rated the final chapter 100 times!) You guys mean a lot to me, even the ones that haven't come out from the shadows to say 'hi' to me! I know you guys are there, but trust me I am not poisonous! If you wanna talk, I'll talk with you! ヽ(；▽；)ノ
Now. Let's bring this length journal to a close and get on with our lives, shall we?