deutschlandgirl's Journal

I've returned... I'm only really writing poems at the moment. Thanks to Nathan.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuWPAvJAwIs&NR=1 <-- awesome song ^^
* Not taking requests until my School work is done D: (yes I have sumer work too)
** message me (:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27zGACIsDM0
James Iha <3
- Courtney :P

I know I always say this. But I'm sorry that I am never online to wirte anything. First of all, my life is nothing like it was. By that, I mean I don't live with the same people I once did, I'm stressed with school, und all my illnesses (or disorders as some may say) have returned. I really haven't had any time. Plus, I did not think a lot of people gets on here to read anymore. I'm not sure why I thought that. But answer the poll (it's extreamly short :D)

- Courtney
(Or Alice or Hazel... Everyone I meet changes my name -.-)

Guten tag! Quickly, I wanted to just show everyone this game I found. Because no one in my family speaks 100% German, I've been trying to find a easy way to learn it. (I'm taking French in Schule so It's not as easy D:)But this game is quick, easy, and you learn German. Lol. I know a lot of people on here who want to learn. So here:

http://www.digitaldialects.com/German.htm

Have fun!
Oh! Und It's Oktoberfest!
I hope everyone get's drunk!

(I'll be writing in spare time x3)

- Courtney :D

Ello Mates! Okay, that was weird. SO! Here's what's up. I've been super busy lately. I've been working on all forms of art. From drawing to sculpting, to Film from fashion. Somewhere between there I've been writing. I have been pushing myself to publish Capgras. If you're already reading it, please I understand I went away from the disorder a bit, but just to add a little drama. It's all gonna work out so stay calm. Und if you haven't read it, it's not too late. Only 7 chapters are out. I might not have the story go on and on. It may only have a little over10 chapters. But I hope you like it. I'll try to post two chapters a week. I already this week so don't be asking. I do want feed back. I see stars, but no feed. So please (:

I can do oneshots. It'll give me something to do in the 3 study halls I have everyday. I wanna be doing Tokio Hotel ones, but any is fine. Just message me. :D


Oh! Song that you should check out: "Brand New Colony" - The Postal Service.

- Courtney

Does anyone get on here anymore? It really seems like everyone is moving onto different places. First no one gets on Myspace anymore. Now here? (This wasn't a big website to begin with >.<) First of all, if you still use Myspace. You should add me. (courtneycourtella@yahoo.com) Just tell me your on Quizilla und I'll add you, But I'll basically add anyone these days. Two, facebook? Really? I hate facebook. >.< Haha! Anyways. I know, I keep saying that I'll write more on here. The reason I keep saying that Is because I don't wanna give up on the types of art that is keeping me alive. Und I love writing. x3. Und This is the only place I know people won't be all "Oh my gosh! Are you okay? Do you need help?" But with school starting und all... STRESS! It's bad enough having to deal with stress with my family, Now I have to deal with schule! Und I'm really determained to make it through. I mean... No one in my family has made it passed 10th grade und I'm going into 9th. So I HAVE TO KEEP GOING!

Long Story Short:

Stories everyother Saturday - Starting whenever the next chapter of Capgras comes out. xD
(Sorry I can't tell you a date. I mean.... Schule und shit like that.)


OH! You all know how I always tell youthat I'm an artist und I love drawing? Well I finally put some pictures online. (All On Myspace. So Add Me (:] I have a weird style, But I hope you like this form of art as well. (:





- Courtney >.<

So it's about 2 in the morning where I'm at, und I'm awake. I have way too much on my mind to even think about sleep. Firsdt of all, today is kinda special cause it's my 5th months with my Boyfriend :"D I know no one cares about that on here, but I decided to start things off on a happy note. So... :D <-- Happy face needed. OKAY! So, Main topic here; Writing. I have been writing, as I said before. I've been working on Capgras in my spare time, which I don't have a lot of lately. I'm trying to get that series done cause I feel terrible that it's been forver since I've worked on it UND it could be done If I would just stop being so lazy. Well... I'm not too lazy. I've been getting ready for the upcomming Schule year. I'm going to one of the greatest public schules in my state, So that means more work for me to do! D: Und My medical file is getting bigger. I'm trying to get better but it's just not looking too well. I'm actually getting much worse. D:

Anywho... With the stories. I'm still doing Capgras. I'm determained to get that done sometime... Before Christmas. Hopefully... I don't wanna start another ste of stories due to the fear of me not finishing them. I will take requests. BUT, I won't be working on them like I used to. You see, my sister likes to hog the computer until like 11 at night. So I stay awake all night typinga story that will only take a reader 15 minutes to read. lol. So bare with me on requests. I won't do twilight anything. I hate twilight >.<

My poems will be posted as I find them. I wrote a lot when I broke up with my ex 5 months ago. But some where thrown away, some where burned in a camp fire (Long story) und others are hiden around my room in places I didn't even know existed. As I find them or as I write them, they will be posted (Probably really late at night)

Okay, So I have this idea. Do you all remeber the story "I wanna be Pefekt?" The story about the Anorexic girl? No? Well.. It didn't go too far because I didn't really remember the goal I was going for there. The reason I started that story was because for years I went through an eating disorder. Und I wanted to write about it. My idea is now to write about my probelms und things I personally went through. I don't really know if that will really get any attention here but... Let me know what you think.

Read TheRasmusmaker1's stories. I haven't had time to read her new ones. But I will soon. So I can't recomend any at the moment. But go do it. She's awsome und just make her day und send her a message telling her your favorite part of whatever story you read of hers. :D She'll love it.

I'll try to post more things on here. Don't kill me if I don't. I'll post things faster if you send messages telling me that you want more stories/poems. (Wink wink)

- Courtney

It’s been four months! I know… But the last four months have been a living hell. First it was school that was keeping me from writing or even thinking about writing. But since school ended… My home life has been insane. I’m not really gonna go into it… But let’s just say I haven’t been too happy. UND schule is starting up AGAIN! I just can’t get a break. BUT I have been writing poems while I was gone, I just didn’t have a way to post them… But now I do (: So I will be posting those. I can’t say anything about stories… But I can try. :D

- Courtney Has Bad Panda Eyes D:

I'm sorry I haven't been on here. Schule is crazy. It's that time of year where every class decides to give you a big project that's due in a few weeks. Science is doing a big project on DINOSUARS! It has over 100 pages! Health is SEX ED :/ Art is a Project about something that changed your life... SO EX BOYFRIEND. Geometry is just... A lot of math papers. Soical Studies is Economtic papers. Englisch is TONS OF BOOK REPORTS! Und if that's not bad enough... I have to read a TON of books to get into my high schule next year! So that's a lot of crap to get done! I still have to study for finals - which are in a few weeks! :o

I'm thinking about leaving Quizilla. For one, the big list up there is keeping me from writing. Und my lack of having internet access. (My laptop expolded. Really.... I'm not lying!!!) Und the things I've heard about the owner of Quizilla. I'm not saying anything bad about Quizilla. I love it here. Just watch the video in the link... It should explain. I'm not sure If I'm leaving or not. So don't worry.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2fpGNRmchdY

- Courtney (:

Oh how I love dreams.... Und it's a proven fact, proven by My bother und I, that small people love to dream big. Oh how I love the feeling of getting the dreams started.

I have returned, more determined than ever. I'm doing more art und writing than I usually do. Danke Mr. Snicket! I found an old journal of mine from Sixth grade. I hated the way I wrote back then. However, I noticed quotes from Mr. Snicket's books. Just reading them brought me back to the place I used to be... A quiet river runs deep. That used to be my life. Always thinking about everything. I'm back to that. (:

I'm working on Capgras.... It shall return soon! Also, you can ask for requests. I'm up for them! :D

-Courtney (:

Once again, I want to say sorry. But then again, I've been taught the rule of saying sorry.

~Only say sorry when you hurt someone in emotionally, physically, mentally, or spirtally.~

So I kind of don't want to be sorry. So my spring break starts 1st April (Which I can't believe). But my plans for the break is to:
1) Go to the Libraby :D
2) Actually hang out with my friends
3) Write!
4) Work on my art ^^

I'm working on Capgras again. I know I left everyone in a bad place in the story. (What do you guys think of the last chapters? I want to know :D) So I'm working on the chapters in schule when my health teacher deiceds to go on und on about suicide (Boring!) Yeah! So I'll start taking requests agian. Please note that I'm bumming my sister's computer because I'm too lazy to try to charge mine. Lol So give me a bit longer than I usually take. Give or take a week? Sorry! (Or not sorry :o) lol

- Courtney :D

I've sorry you guys. I know I haven't been writing at all. D: I haven't really been in the mood really. I've been distracted with schule, friends, family und Yellow! (this guy who I really like but I have decided not to tell you guys his name. lol xD) I've also haven't had any ideas and have been more into my art lately. ^^ Well I'm gonna try to post some new things soon. Sorry again. Dankeshon!




- Courtney (a.k.a Blue (:)

Many of you don't know how much I love art, do you? Well... I do! I've always loved how it looked and all the different styles. Myself, I'm not much of an artist. Sure, I have made crappy anime pictures. I have made an awsome Miyavi picture if I do say so myself. Too bad my boyfriend, Dj, has it! xD Anyways, I have created a sculpture of a Panda, which a teacher tried to buy for 300$!!! (:
Now, I am determained to get better in art. My art teacher has sold her art work millions of times. Her name is... I don't even know!! She's wasn't very known, but she was a REAL Artist! I'm honored to be in her klasse! She even has helped me learn a little mehr German, Since my familie decided it's not important to learn it anymore since we speak English in the United States. But I do not know her first name darn it! But her last name is Boggs! xD But because she has showed me that Art is something I could really do, I decieded to look up some art that I really liked and see what the artist has decided to do.

My favorite artist is John Millais, an English Artist. Here are some of my favorite Pieces.



Cherry Ripe (1879)




Christ in the House of His Parents. (1849)




Ophelia (1852)

My favorite! ^^

Art has always fansinated me and I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!

- Courtney (:

Last time, I was telling you guys about me going back to das Krankenhaus to see what was wrong with my stomache. They found out! (THANK YOU GOD!) But I don't want to tell you guys xD
Anywho, everyone knows Valentines Day ist comming really soon. Some of you may actually like this holiday und some of us (Like me) Have someone they want to spend it with, some people (Also like me) Hate the holiday anyways. In Germany, it's much like it is here in Amerika. Only Men are mostly likely to give the womena gift. Women usually don't buy presents. The gives are often flowers and chocolates in the shape of a love token (I'm not sure what that is xD) So Once again, nothing new about that. Ummm.. I am taking requests now, so If you want one... Ask!



- Sorry, I love Zull x3

With the lovely dovely holiday comming und all, I find myself listening to this songa lot.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=InxPC1ld8LA

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! (;

- Courtney ^^

So mein Power Of The Pen contest has been cancled due to snow. I prayed for snow for the past week und finally, it came! Just why did the contest have to be this week end? It's not like it ist now gone fur gute, It's going to be in two weeks, 20th Febraur. Also, I was suppost to go to Ohio State University for a young scholar class, but that too has been cancled due to the trafic the snow ist causing. So it looks like I'm finally going to be able to get some sleep! That's the reason why I haven't been writing as much as I have been. I've either been too tired or something has happened in my screwed up life. Ja, many things happen; most for the worse. I'm trying to get back to writing mehr und mehr stories, but give me time. Life isn't the greatest fur mich. Du understand, ja?

Also, many of you know I have a problem with my stomach. Everything I eat makes me sick to mein stomach und it doesn't ende very well. So I'm missing schule on Tuesday und Wednsday; Tuesday just to take all the meds that I'm given - if I go to schule, I'll pass out - und Wednsday, die arzte will be going inside my stomach. I am scared to death. Extreamly Scared To Death! So Tuesday, I'll be trying to cautch up on everything. Wish me Luck!!

- Courtney (:

Life has indeed clamed down for me. Schule is begining to work out fine with me, even though I have so many reports to do (Most are almost done.) Another thing is that The Power If The Pen Contest is THIS SATURADY! I'm so excited. It's all My und My friend Lexie can seem to talk about! Hopefully, I'll do better than the last contest. Anyways, I have once posted a story for the contest. It was about Tokio Hotel. My teacher didn't really like it. e.e But I wrote one about Miyavi with the promt of "Wizard". She loved it, expect for the ending because it was very weak. When I get it back, I'm going to rewrite it and post it. Okay?

Now, an update of my stories....



Dear Marie, is on it's last chapter. I'm a little sad to even this story in such a way. You can still read it. I'm not going to delete it or block new viewers. You will always be able to read it. No, the last chapter isn't the ending, There is one last chapter. You have to read that when I post it. (: For the inspiration of this story, I used a little madchen Kenidie Bromly. You should look her up. She's so kawaii! (:




Trapped is also on it's last two chapters. It's more of a drama at the end, but if you started to read it, you should finish reading.I mean, it kind of answers some questions of why Mana didn't kill himself at the begining and kind of why Gackt didn't want to stop the wedding once he relized that it was Mana. NO! IT'S NOT A GAY REASON! xD



I have started a new story! It's a fanfic, like I promissed I will do more of them. (Since more people tend to like them for some reason.) It's called Capgras. Capgras Syndrome is a mental disorder when one believes that a loved one is being replaced by an imposter. I thought Antic Cafe would be a good band to give the disorder to, I mean Bou left. He decided to come back to vist Miku on his birthday. Then, decides that he wants to stay and re-join Antic Cafe. Miku doesn't believe that Bou would ever do such a thing. I hope you enjoy it! :D


- Courtney (:

Note: I'll take requests next week. ^^

I've been thinking. My life has been crazy; schule work, chorse, and other things that I just like to do in my spare time. With all that, it's a little hard for me to sit down und write. I mean, I love writing, don't get me wrong, but I need to get other things done first. It's bugging me that I have stories that I've never finished. HERE'S MY IDEA!

- I'm going to Finish Dear Marie :D There's only a few more chapters any ways. I mean why stop now?

- I'm gonna Finish Trapped. I felt in a really good part. Readers are bugging me to finish it, So I'm going to read what I already have written und work from there.

- I Want To Be Perfekt. It's a little weird how this story replaced a story that I ended up having no passion about because I lost my passion for this story all together. An author can't write if she can not get into it. So sooner or later, I'm deleteting it. You can still read it for now.

- After I get those two stories done, I'm not going to create another Chapter Story, (By that I mean writing chapters to stories.) BUT, I might make another Chapter story like Trapped where it's about a musican. But I'm not sure yet. It depends on my life at that time. It won't take me very long to get those stories. I'm thinking before Winter? Maybe not. That's my goal :D

- Then what? Am I giving up on writing? Am I forgetting about everyone on Quizilla? HECK NEIN!
I can't give up my passion! So I'm going to do requests und short stories. Maybe fanfics like Trapped? Who knows. I want to make some about Miyavi und Bou, I loves them :D That way I'm not giving up as easly und I disappiont so many people.

- So as of today, I'm not taking any more requests. D: SORRY! I just need time to fix things up. Thanks for understanding. (:

- Courtney [:

Dear My Friend,

I'm not getting any better. For the constatnt stomach pain, I'm going to have a surgery type thing soon. I will be put to sleep und die artze will put a camera down my throat to see inside my stomach. From there, they might, MIGHT be able to tell me what's wrong.

Along with that, yesterday I fell and twisted mein ankel. I spent all tag at das Krankenhaus. It wasn't broken, but it was spranded. But trust me, I wish it was broken, the pain of a broken bone isn't as bad und it goes away quick. Take it from a litle clumsy girl who broke both of her arms. (Und only cried the first time when I was ... vier. 4)

So at this moment, I'm dealing with the pain of my stomach und ankel, which neither one will stoppen to save my life. Now, I'm suppost to take it easy due to my ankel, but knowing myself, That's a little impossible. I already have been getting only six hours of sleep. That sounds normal? Not if your up on your feet all day und doing schule work. As it is right now, I'm running on three hours of rest. So everyone, I'm sorry if I don't post mehr stories. I want to, especially the Miyavi story I wrote for the Power of The Pen Contest Pratice. Im trying my best!

Oh, really quick, because my eyes are beinging to hurt, I'd liebe to danke TheRasmusmaker1. Allyvia has been my theripest lately. She's just understanding und listens to just about anything I decide to imform her on, no matter how odd es ist. That reminds me! I actually got to speak to that crazy madchen a few nacht ago. The conversation was short, quiet, und confussing (since I thought she was my little schwesters freund Ray-ray und she though I was My sister , Tayuyagirl53.) So thank her, Allyvia not Christin, for cheering me up during this time. (:

-Courtney (:

After being sick und going to the arzte almost everyday, I have found very few things that make me smile. Who could that be? MIYAVI!



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0SbQhqHNRQ

This made me so happy when I watched it. It's Miyavi being well... the sexy Miyavi he is (;
Enjoy The pics ^^





His baby girl is so cute (:


-Courtney :D

Sorry everyone,
I've been and still am very sick. I'm slowly but surely working on stories. Please understand. Also, my life is getting harder und harder to deal with. Constantly missing schule to go to die arzte, then having to make up all the work. Also, my family is decressing. I'm trying my best to stay strong. Luckly, it's snowing like no tomorrow here. So most likely, there will be schule tomorrow. Then, I'll do my best to work on some written pieces. That is, if I get my schule work done in enough time. Bitte, give me time everyone. Dankeshone.

Oh, und if you please, check ot my favorite authors. They need more reconiztion than they are reciving. THey write the stories on my favorite's list. Just click them. I don't feel like looking up their username. Haha!! Most of all.. Check TheRasmusmaker1. She's helped me out through this hardship. Dankeshon! Und Kiittos? Is that how you say it??? I'm not sure. ^^

-Courtney

P.S.
Bou is a dorkable :3

Just thought I would komm und wish everyone a happy Holiday. Which ever day you celebreate, no matter where you are in this world; Germany, Scotland, United Kingdom, Finland, Norway or even if you live right next to me, I hope you have a wonderful Holiday!

If you wanted to hear about how Christmas is celebreated in Germany, I have writen a story about it. A Very Merry Christmas With Tokio Hotel... Or something along the lines of that. Haha!


Happy Holidas to everyone on Quizilla!

-Courtney :]