Comments on dragonofthesands's Journal

I'm only doing this to make me feel better.
If Colton reads it is up to himself. Though I highly doubt it since he's broken all ties with me that he could possibly break.





- Late 2003 -
Summer time. School had just been let out. I was 15, forced to come with my parents to meet some of their new friends and their kids.
I saw you for the first time, you were outside shooting rats in your dad's horse barn with a bb gun.

A few nights later I met you for the first time. I was asked to babysit your brothers and sister. You were playing a game and your youngest brother introduced us.
I was happy.


Time passed. A friendship formed.



- Early 2004 -
We hung out a lot on weekends because our partents were such good friends.
Our friendship grew.



- Late 2004 -
My birthday rolled around. You gave me a keychain.
I still have it to this day.




- Early 2005 -
We're still hanging out. I'm in high school now.
Your birthday came around. I got you a book.



- Mid 2005 -
Summer time again. I joined Quizilla and wrote little silly fictons about us.
Nothing special.
I showed you.
You joined soon afterwards and started writing stories.

We shared our stories with one another.


You gave me a present. A small glass dragon.
I still have it.





- Mid 2005 -
I found out you had a girl friend. I was oddly hurt by this, but dropped it.
I continued writing.
So did you.
I was writing fan fiction, you started writing stories based around your friends. Me and Paul.



- Late 2005 -
I think I fell in love.



- Early 2006 -
I saw something on your computer that should have been the first clue.
I turned a blind eye.

Rumors soon started to spread that you were gay.
I refused to believe them until you told me you were yourself.

You told me you weren't.
I believed you and defened your name the best I could.


A few days later you were kicked out of your house because your dad found out the truth.
You were gay.
You'd lied to me.
I was hurt.
I cried.





- Mid 2006 -
You moved in with a friend, but you were going to have to move.
I was starting to lose contact with you.
You still did not tell me the truth.


I learned you were going to move to Florida.
I was hurt that you hadn't told me anything.


I kept my silence.




- Late 2006 -
You moved away without telling me.
I was destoryed.

I tried to keep in contact with you, but my efforts were in vain.
You broke every contact we had.

I recieved two phone calls from you in two months time.
My hope foolishly rose.




- Early 2007 -

I entered Senior year of high school.
I waited for contact from you.

Time passed.



- Mid 2007-
Graduation was getting close.
Still no word from you.

I sent you a graduation card.

Graduation day came.
You weren't there.
I was hurt.

Over the summer I started to forget.



- Late 2007 -
I entered college.
I still had no word from you.

I slowly started to delete our contacts.
Your AIM name was the first to go.
Then your e-mail.
Finally I took the few pictures I had of you down.



- Early 2008 -
In college. It takes up most of my time.
I found out a boy in my class likes me. We started talking and hanging out.

Wounds started to heal over more.

I was asked on my first date.
I accepted.
You were forgotten.



- Present Time -
Still in college.
Talking to John, though I'm not sure about him.
I think I should give him a chance.
I compared him to you once.

Wounds opened slightly.

Slowly they closed.
I forgot you once more.

May came.
It was time for you to graduate and suddenly your name was everywhere.
Everyone wanted to talk about you and see if I wanted to come to your graduation.
I remembered my own.
I knew you wouldn't care if I didn't appear.
I stayed home.

Finally, when my mom had to talk to me about your graduation pictures.
I broke down.
I yelled at my mom.

I don't care anymore.
I gave up on our friendship almost a year ago.
Wounds reopened.
Your name was the knife.
I cried.






A year of telling myself over and over again that you weren't coming back.
Finally I healed only to have your name thrown at me again to reopen old wounds and dash salt in them.

For the first time in over a year I cried because of your name.

If anything at all came from the friendship it once had it was this lesson.

I shouldn't let anyone get close to my heart like that agian.
They just rip it apart an pour alt on what little remains.

I know you probably don't even bother to come here anymore. Which is fine.
I guess I needed to list these things out for myself.
Maybe now, after talking to my mom, my mind can finally find some peace.

Your name won't be mentioned in my house any longer.