evil-alien-penguin's Journal

I think I might be hyper!!!!!!!!! OMG! It started out when I was on the phone to Flossie (which I still technically am, poor thing) we were talking about SEX and DRUGS and ROCK AND ROLL and SPEED and WEED and BIRTHCONTROL!!! Coz lifes a bitch and then you die so FUCK THIS SHIT AND LETS GET HIGH (per) I needed sugar badly. So I went on a loooong and dangerous quest to the kitchen where the evil furry pussy was guarding the OMG BLUE FOOD COULORING with its life. It tried to defeat me with the evil wrath of the stinky litter tray, but it's plan foiled by the genius mind of MEH!!!So I mixed the OMG BLUE FOOD COULORING with the YAY! SUGAR! and crack. (not Joels) Yeah. So then once I had drank this mixture I was transported to a wierd and wonderful world. Where penis grew on trees and guys were fucking rabbits (and Flossy) I grabbed and extra large penis and shoved it down my trousers. Now after so many years of saving up for the sex change, I was finally a guy. After exibiting my newly found manlyness (which landed me in prsion for the night) I decided to give Flossie some surprise sex. I then got asreraped by Batman who drugged me with red skittles. Then she was distacted by Emjays staff. (Ohhh, long) I managed to escape. Although it was pretty fun. She can work magic with her penis. Mine is still longer than hers. Mine is longer than everyones. I know! I'll go on a quest to find somone with a longer penis than me. Mind you, that might be impossible. I was getting bored of jerking off, so I decided I wanted some action. However Flossie was busy petting Jeffory, so I was stuck for manwhores. With Jak Osman arseraping Batman too, I didn't even know where to begin. For the mean time, I decided to horribly touture George. Firstly, I started with his hair. I shaved it all off and... OMG it'd be a wicked toilet seat cover! Then I ate his brains. There wasn't much there, though, so I was still pretty hungery. I cut out his spleen and made soup for the homeless. I sold all his other organs for candy. His arse, I gave to Joel. I hope he likes it. I think I might eat his liver. Being a veggie means I cant eat animals, people are fine though. ;) So, after eating Joels liver, I arranged his and George's naked bodies into various sex positions. Heh. Is it still necrophilliacy if both people are dead? I think I might become a necrophilliac. Not for George though. Or Joel. Definatly not Joel. No, I was thinking of killing Darryl, so he can't leave in two weeks. *smug grin* I has got smarts! Well, I dont know if anyone has a larger penis than me. Or whether i'll ever be a girl again. (or if I was in the first place) But the hyperness is definatly wearing off now, so I shall go drink battery acid. Farewell! (why am I so mean to George? I actually really like him!!)

Ok. One of my friends twin sister commited suicide. I don't really know my friend that well, but she's somone I relate to, so I feel really sorry for her. If anyone is thinking about committing suicide, please message me. I know it's a way out, but it's at a big cost. So, if your feeling depressed, or just wanna chat, message me. Don't be shy, I won't mind. ~Leaha~

Back to school yesterday. Which isn't good. All that getting up early, can't be healthy! And i'm meant to be turning over a new leaf. Pfft. I am still getting yelled at by teachers and taunted by idiots. Like I care though. Wankers. I cant be bothered to write much. And the next post I do, will be talking about somthing serious. Which is why i'm not writing it here.

THE NEW DOCTOR WHO!!!! It's back and better than before!! With a smexy new Doctor!!! YAYAYYAAYAYYAYAYYAYAYAYYAYAYYAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 'Twas the highlight of my day. And thats saying alot, since I went shopping today. I got a funki new jacket

Hullo there! Well, it shall soon be Easter. But, as i'm not a religious person, this only means CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!!! But, alas, my diet counters this so now it means RANDOM GIFTS!!! Which I guess is better in the long run. But doesn't do much for my ever hungry cravings. ): Ah well. I get roller blade instead! My old ones are WAY too small, and now I have blisters. And probably a cold. My dad DRAGGED me out to fish on the beach in the freezing cold. (well, I guess I kinda offered to go with him, as it was on the beach. Little did I know how BLOODY FREEZING it would be) ANyways, at least everything's working out for my friends. Flossie (one of my best friends) is making out with Jamie (her crush) Batman (anthor great friend) has found out how ugly HER crushes girlfriend is. And how much better looking SHE is. Oh, and Me, Batman and Flossie are all getting celebrity makeovers. We're still not to sure who I should be yet. (Batman suggested David Bowie. I wasn't convinced.) So, the end is nigh. I must leave you my good people. My bed is calling to me in iresistable tones. Goodbye and goodnight.- Lehoe xoxox

Hello. This was meant to be a continuation from my last post. However, I cant remeber what I actually put in my last post. And I cant be asked so go find out. Even though it's only a couple of clicks on the mouse. God, i'm lazy. Well, I cant be that lazy, as I did two excersise vids the other day. Ouch. Who knew excersise would be so much hard work? Maybe I should invent a whole body sling. That way, I wouldn't have to do any excersise or move much at all. Hang on, isn't that called a straight jacket? Ah well. Plus it'd be hard finding a way to go to the toilet. Maybe there could be a bum flap? Anyways, i'll leave my wonderful invention and get back to the point. What was it again? I think it envolved badgers and areoplanes. With cute flying goggles. Ooooh! I should invent a new style of goggle! with detachable strings that do stuff. ( not too sure what.) I could throw in a free nose ring too!! Yeah, thats a great idea. I shall make my fortune as an inventor. I'll have videos all about how I came to fame. And shows about me in theartres. I could write an autobiography that sells at £15 pounds each!!! Most people don't seem to see my supierior interlect. They just think i'm crazy! Pfft. I'll show them. When we have badgers with nose rings and goggles everywhere, THEY'LL be sorry!!! Heh. *** On another note, my school keeps refering me to a pyshciatrist. It's been a total of 7 times so far. I think i'm getting the flu. Am I delerious? I think so. I'll have the men in white coats round and stick a needle up my arse to save you innocent people from my random ravings. You love me though...right? You'd never call the men in white coats? Promise? Ok. I am still wondering whether anyone has actually read this yet. I wonder which people just sit their reading other peoples journals. Other than me, that is. I just have no life. *** Hokay. Enough of being all Emo and depressing. Back to...whatever I was on about before. I had Cows Turd earlier and now am practically bouncing of the ceiling!!! WHEEEEEE!!!!!!! I'm just glad I didn't have to eat the Cats Sick. That just looked gross. Imagine eating that! Ew. *** I think I have forsaken whoever is reading this for long enough. I shall go and flush my head down a toilet. It'll turn my hair a funky blue. Byes xoxox

Hello there. Ok. First things first. My BIRTHDAY!!!!!! It was on March 4 and I got some pretty cool stuff. I didn't get alot though as money is scarce.The things I did get, include a guitar (which I might have mentioned before) two books, a BRIGHT PINK FEATHER BOA!!!! (curtesy of Batman) A shitting penguin, scented bath stuff,(hopfully I don't smell) £200, clothes and some CD's. YAYNESSS!!!!! But unfortunatly, I can't go to Batman's birthday sleepover, as I think I'm getting the flu. My neck died too. (R.I.P) and if I did manage to drag my crumpled self round there, I would do no more than lie on the couch like a cushion. Albeit a very shmexy one. Also, we had a non school uniform day! Everyone looked awesome, expecially Heather. I talked to her and she's actually quite nice. I might delete the rather offensive journal entery refering to her. My ex and her wern't going out after all. That makes me feel extremely bad. I still stand by what I said about him though, as we were going to go out and get pissed with another boy named Sean. They didn't show. Anyways, I have to go and phone Batman. I'll post more later. xoxox

Why does everybody suck so much!?! I hate school. People are pissing me off to no avail. It's one thing when they insult you, but another when they use physical violence. Anyway, my head hurts from earlier, so i'll try not to ramble on about the usual bollocks. My ex-boyfriend is going around kissing and hugging his new girlfriend. Wanker!! Its not like I care or anything, though... On the bright side, one of my friends came out that she is bi-sexual. I had kinda guessed, but I admire her for having the guts to say it. I think i'm bi, but only three people know. I skipped some of school today. I just couldn't stand that poxy dump one second longer. I think i'll go drown myself in lemonade. Byes xoxox

Hello. I was kinda depressed in my last post. I had people yelling at me, one of my friends was being an Emo fag and I had PMS which didn't bode well with the last two. However, it's only 5 days 'till my birthday!!! YAYNESS!!! Im having a sleepover, which will involve more yayness and some horibly embarassing dares. Mwah ha ha ha ha!!! I got a guitar on Sunday which is bloody brillaint and I am very happy about. Today, though, my boyfriend turned up totally pissed (stupid wanker) and blurted out some things I didn't want my mum to hear. I feel homicidal towards him, but fairly happy where the rest of the world are concerned. Now all I need to complete my yayness, is a new boyfriend and some Cadburys milk chocolate. Mmm. I think I have an addiction. Like with ciggaretes, only chocolate dosen't give you lung cancer. I had a daydream earlier, involving George (my boyfriend) a rather large chainsaw, and the removal of some body parts, rather cruical to any bloke who wishes to have kids. I feel evil now, but also happy and hyper and...shit. Im rambling again. oh well, it's not though anyone will actually read this. I shall go anyways, for the sake of my sanity (or whats left of it) Byes xoxox

Why does everyone have to suck so much? Just a few mere hours ago, I was consumed by hyperness and feeling great. Then one of my friends has decided to cut her wrists. All my friends are Emo fags and thier Emo-fagness has rubbed off on me. Now I have blood running down my wrists too, because I vowed to do twice as much as her. It stings. My jumper is going a funky red colour now, though. Now I just want to kill everything and everyone. Stupid wanker.

Hello. If your actually reading this, then you must be near death from boredom, or just plain crazy. I've never actually had one of these before, so if I ramble pointlessly (which I will) then just ignore me. Its kinda like talking to yourself, 'cept you're typing. I really had nothing better to do, which is why i'm awake at 11:39 typing this. Maybe I should say somthing about myself... Ok, Im 5ft 8inch with long blonde hair. I have blue eyes and a slim build. Oh God. I sound like one of those dating colomns. y'know, the ones which are basically trying to get free sex. Ew. Thats just creepy. Ok, subject change time. I like chocolate! Do you like chocolate? Now im hungry. Crap, I haven't eaten anything and its 11:47. Im gonna go have some chocolate. Byes xoxox

Hello. If your actually reading this, then you must be near death from boredom, or just plain crazy. I've never actually had one of these before, so if I ramble pointlessly (which I will) then just ignore me. Its kinda like talking to yourself, 'cept you're typing. I really had nothing better to do, which is why i'm awake at 11:39 typing this. Maybe I should say somthing about myself... Ok, Im 5ft 8inch with long blonde hair. I have blue eyes and a slim build. Oh God. I sound like one of those dating colomns. y'know, the ones which are basically trying to get free sex. Ew. Thats just creepy. Ok, subject change time. I like chocolate! Do you like chocolate? Now im hungry. Crap, I haven't eaten anything and its 11:47. Im gonna go have some chocolate. Byes xoxox