ex.pafilyzon.'s Journal

This can't come as too much of a shock. After my futile attempts to carry on here, it's simply become too pointless. I've been slacking with updates here because I have officially made Mibba my home. It's not hard to see that Quizilla has become a dreadful place, so I hereby bid you all adieu from here.

You may find me on Mibba (http://member.mibba.com/78683/) and FictionPress (http://www.fictionpress.com/u/594261/). I apologize for any inconvenience, but I'm afraid I must go. My account will remain, but no updates or new stories will come. Thank you for all of your support over the years and your time and countless messages. There are no words to express the lengths of my gratitude.


Farewell for now, I hope to hear from you elsewhere,
Alyssa.

I'm trying to create a site to put all of my stuff on that I can personalize and I chose freewebs, but it's being retarded. It won't let me do what I want. I get it just the way I like it, save it, and then when I go to view it it's not what I wanted AT ALL! WTF? Does anyone know how to do this crap? Becaue I'm getting frustrated. Please and thank you to whoever would like to assist me in my time of great need.

Just kidding, that sounded retarded too. Ha, okay. Yea. Help would be nice. Besides, I can't give out the web address until it's beautiful. =]


alyssa.

*It's Jesu on purpose, I swear* -.-


Alright, so I need an editor for my new story that understands that guidlines for Mibba. I'm baffled as to why Shadows is 'breaking the rules'. So now I need an editor. *dejected sigh* Very upset here...

Please and thank you! =]


alyssa.


P.S. I'm dying my hair next monday. Red, bright freaking red. =]

IF YOU HAVEN'T READ [[055]] OF COOKIE GO DO SO NOW AND COME BACK. THANKS.






I've elected to post a new story later today. This will be my ONLY active story from here on out. I may post an epilogue and various extra chapters of Cookie in the future, but it may take a while.

The new story is called "Shadows of Ivory" and I've got a good feeling about it.



The idea came from just a random train of thoughts and somehting about it just felt...right, you know?

It's about a girl... ^ (GASP!) named Ivory, or Ivy for short. She's one of seven kids, four of which are quadruplets; Ivy included. Her and her sister, Thirza, are identical twins and so are their brothers Jonah and Levi.

Getting to the point, the title comes from two different and equally important things. Obviously the main character's name is Ivory, but the Shadows of part comes from her lifestyle. As I said she is one of four quadruplets made up of two sets of identical twins. The trouble is that she and her sister aren't completely identical. Somehow Ivory ended up with dark hair and Thirza has light. And the worst part is having a famous brother and twin sister while being completely left out of the limelight. So basically Ivory is a shadow in her sister's life.

The second thing that the title came from is a 'secret'. =] Read and find out, or not. You don't really have to.

I hope everyone likes it. Let me know, eh?


alyssa.

*angrily intakes long breath*

Well, as if I wasn't impatient enough about replacing this piece of sh!t computer, I'm more prepared than ever to beat the LIFE out of it! It makes retared noises instead of playing music, granted this is two weeks after it started NOT to make any noise at ALL and then randomly play music as loud as it could. It also won't allow me to right click, so this post is NOT being spell checked, sorry.

Actually, you know what? I'm not sorry. I'm SICK of being sorry. I think you should be sorry for me because this computer deserves to be launched from a cannon! I have to deal with its weird noises and worryig about whether or not this psychotic thing is going to crash or end a program and put me on edge until I know if my work's been saved!

WORST of all, I have to deal with my MOTHER who REFUSES to go get a NEW computer even though I'll DIE if I have to spend another DAY with this thing! She is SO UTTERLY RIDICULOUS! AND CLUELESS TOO!

Don't get me wrong, I love my mother, but sometimes I just want to hit her and yell "WHAT THE F@&% IS WROG WITH YOU!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" And shake her like a horrible parent shakes a baby.

I told her for two years, TWO YEARS, that I needed to see a therapist and she didn't even stop to think about why. Even now that I see I therapist she doesn't think about it. It's so stupid! How dense do you have to be to not notice that your daughter, the ONLY OTHER HUMAN BEING LIVING WITH YOU, is effed up?

Pretty dense, I think...

Anyway, this computer makes me want to do very, very bad things. My Word program crashes every ten seconds, so, unfortunately, I will NOT be able to update any time in the near future. I was nearly finished with some updates, but there's no hope in completing them as we speak. I apologize for this, though.


Too furious for anything to be said,

alyssa.

Europe was AMAZING. I don't really want to go in to details though, I'm so sick of being away as it is. And I'm REALLY tired...

Well, I'm back, but do't be expecting updates too soon. I need to take a short break and readjust to being home again. I'll update as soon as I feel like it again, sorry. My computer is being retarded again, so hang with me here as I might make some errors...

Just to clarify in case people don't read the memos of my stories like they should: I Saved You is OVER. DONE. FINISHED. Got it? Good.

I'm really anxious and frustrated at the same time because I can't WAIT to catch up on everything I missed in the stories I read. The trouble is that the new Quizilla only shows you so many of the new updates for authors on your watch list. It's frustrating because now I have to track down half of the stories I read just to read them. Obviously Quizilla has no sympathy for my poor nerves. I CAN'T TAKE IT!

I need to go get my fix now, I'm on edge as it is. Just keep a look out for updates in the future and be aware that I'm sorry and hope no one hates me for making you wait even longer. =]

alyssa.

Alright, so I'm in France right now. I'll be home in a few days, so just hang in there to hear more from me. I have to get off of the computer soon, but I'm going to fill everyone in on some stuff.

Greece and Italy were great, more updates on the whole trip when I get back on my computer at home... I'm staying with a crazy French family right now, it's an interesting experience to say the least: They're taking ,e to a club in an hour or two...

Um, I don't have the time to respond to any messages right now, so you'll have to wait, sorry. I apologize for any errors, this keyboard is whacked. Alright, I have to go now. Au revoir!!!



alyssa.

I had this whole elaborate good-bye message thing all typed up, but my computer is retarded...

I'm too angry to re-write the whole thing, so here's all I'm going to say: I'm leaving for three weeks and I'm really sorry I couldn't update any more. Maybe I'll explain a little more when I get back, but I'm too stressed and frustrated to care right now.

Much love,

alyssa.

So I'm going to extend the time everyone has to send in questions. I'm a little disappointed in the response I've gotten thus far, but oh well. On to bigger and better things.

I'm a loser-face. I've been slacking off in the 'My Brother' department. However, I'm thinking I MIGHT---don't take my word for it---be able to update 'I Saved You' now. That story is actually almost finished too. THANK YOU!

Now this is where I need to make a decision. I have two stories that I recently started and really like. It's up to everyone though. You get to pick. Aren't you so excited!? That's right, you should be.


(First: 'WORKING' TITLE)

|Pretty--Young--Things|

This one is a vampire story. It's basically one of those cliche girl gets kidnapped, girl becomes slave, yadda, yadda, yadda, but if you know me by now, you know that I've added in some twists.

Novalie's mother is killed when she's five. She doesn't really know how, but she winds up at an underground slave auction for vampires. It's then that she's thrown into a world that only corrupts and ruins her. Eventually---I won't say how---she ends up at a secluded mansion with three vampires.

Just imagine what a crazy little world must exist there...

It's a romance and obviously a drama. I just need to say that some parts of this particular story may offend people. It probably isn't as bad as I think it is, and I know it isn't on the same level as Ameille being raped, but it's pretty close.


(Second: 'WORKING' TITLE)

Nightmares and Fairytales


*sighs* Sort of a Cinderella story. =]

Lacey Winchester---she hates her full name---is visited by a strange man with a letter. When she reads it she realizes that much of what she's known has been lost in translation. With two dead parents and her only living relatives being her selfish step-mother and evil step-siblings, she's only slightly hesitant to go with him as the letter instructs.

Her life's a secret she keeps locked in a box, and the only person with the key is her. However, the new world she's being introduced to is starting to make keeping her past to herself harder and harder.

Lacey's angsty and sort of...mean sometimes. She's just trying to protect herself really, but she's confused at the same time. Life is like a class, and it's one she doesn't exactly care about.

Of course it's another romance type story. What else? And obviously it isn't like every silly Cinderella story you've read. It's modern.


So, if you want to vote, I'm posting a poll. One of them is going to be my next story. After I finish most of the other ones, this one's going up and that's it. It's too hard having a zillion stories to update.

If you want more details or have questions, let me know. The titles are open to change thus far, but I'm not too worried about that yet. I need to know which one is going up before I make any final decisions. =]

Alright, so do what you will. I'm off.


alyssa.

Dun, dun-dun, dun dun dun DUN!

Wonderful news everyone, I've decided to create interviews for all of my current stories. You can send questions for the characters in 'My Brother', 'Cookie', 'I Saved You', and even 'Willingly'. I'll wait to post them until I get enough questions from people, so start thinking of some! I won't put a limit on questions or anything, but I am going to say that I will only be taking questions via MESSAGES TITLED "INTERVIEW" and THIS POST until NEXT FRIDAY.

You can ask anything you want, seriously. I feel like answering all of the questions I neglected to answer in my writing. Or just random things you'd like to know... Anyway, it sounds like fun. Be silly for all I care, just make sure you get them to me by NEXT FRIDAY.

Hopefully that's clear, so send those questions in as soon as you can. Now, moving on to other news...


I'm on chapter twenty-four of 'My Brother' and I'm hoping to have it finished by next week, but knowing me, that might now happen. Eh. Anyway, once that story is finished, I plan on starting 'I Saved You' up again. Right now I have up to chapter fifty....THREE typed up. I'll post EVERYTHING ASAP. So don't fret.

'Willingly' will also start up again when 'My Brother' is finished. Forgive me for making you all wait.

As for 'Cookie', it will be done when it's done, whenever that may or may not be.

I probably won't start another story until I've finished at least two of my others. Possibly three. So hang in there if you care. That's all.


REMEMBER, YOU CAN ASK ANY QUESTION TO ANY CHARACTER YOU WANT.


alyssa.

Ever since this new Quizilla thing happened, I haven't been posting journals as much. Aren't you all so sad? I know I am.

Well, I'm writing this one to apologize once again for my extra long absence a few weeks ago. Sorry. Also, I have some new and interesting information for all of you wonderful readers!

First of all, I'm nearly finished with 'My Brother', thank god. You have no idea how frustrating it is to have a zillion stories in progress and never updating them. 'My Brother' will be ending at thirty chapters. I'm currently writing twenty-two as we speak. Once that's finished I can complete 'I Saved You' as well. I'm awfully sorry for making everyone wait for that story. I just didn't want to ruin things for certain people. I'm not heartless you know.

Secondly, 'Cookie' is going stronger than ever. That's almost done too though. There's no set limit for 'Cookie', but in my head there isn't much more for me to get through. Now it's just a matter of writing it out. XD

As for 'Willingly', I'll repost the rest of it when 'My Brother' is done. After that, I don't know what I'll do. Right now I actually just came up with a new story. It's about vampires, which is pretty kick a_s considering all of my other stories that aren't active are NOT about vampires... Well, anyway, I think that if I can get it underway, that'll be my next Quizilla project. I need to finish at least two other stories first, so don't get your hopes up.

Oh, and I think everyone should check out the Alison Sudol, aka A Fine Frenzy. She's basically amazing and now I'm obsessed. Mhm. Yea, weird right? I'm into polar opposites I guess. I like really hardcore experimental screamo music and yet at the same time I love classical, down to earth indie music. Odd.

I think I'm done rambling on to the few people that actually care about what I have to say, so, au revoir. See ya later gator!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND, if you happen to be reading one of my stories and notice that there's an odd matching up of words, it's probably because Quizilla is FXXKING RETARDED and likes to cut out naughty words such as S E X, FXXK, and other profanities. And, just so we're clear, I'm too lazy to care right about now. So I have no intentions of going back hrough all of my millions of chapters just so people can read my naughty words. Use your imagination and maybe in a few weeks I'll decide to go back and fix Quizilla's stupid ruining-ness.


alyssa.

I'd like to spend the first few sentences of this post to apologize wholeheartedly for my long absence. It was unintentional, believe me. I sincerely hope that all of my wonderful friends and readers can find it in their hearts to forgive me for something that wasn't my fault. Thank you for reading that pathetic excuse. No here's the story:

Most of you should know by now that my computer---now officially named The Thing, but I should have named it Hunk of Crap---is technologically challenged. It's given me MANY problems in the past and a few weeks ago it crossed the line.

My entire Windows system crashed. It took a while to convince my mom to take the stupid thing to a computer place and have them check it out. The guy---he was nice---told us we needed to have everything that was important put onto a disk, otherwise we'd lose it all. Now, I'd just like everyone to know that I was PISSED. I was cranky and practically suffocating with the anxiety. I could have lost it all; my countless hours of work which would break my heart in more ways than anyone could imagine.

We got the computer and all of the info on disks back about a week and a half ago, but we didn't have a Windows recovery disk. My mom took forever to get one of those too, but it finally came in the mail earlier today. So here I am, after struggling to get internet connection, typing this up for you and having all of my information reloaded onto my hard-drive.

I could cry right now because of the pressure. I've felt so horrible the past few weeks for just abandoning you all like I did. I tried so hard to find time to get onto another computer, but I couldn't. The librarians at my school watch kids like hawks and I would never have been able to explain like this there. The public library was too out of the way, but i'm here now and ready to get back to business.

Now I'd like to announce that once I get everything back in order on this damn computer, I'll start reposting everything ASAP. I feel like I've missed so much after being gone for so long, and I hate the feeling. I also have a million messages to respond to when I find the time...

Lastly, I'd like to formally announce that the last chapter I post of 'Cookie' was NOT the last chapter. Hopefully that clears some stuff up.

Please, forgive me.


Still alive and well, and also eternally sorry,

alyssa.

*cries into hands* This new Quizilla sucks. It's worse than dancing clowns, and I'm DEATHLY afraid of clowns. And primates...

I think that Quizilla just has a few more of my stories to transfer before it's gotten them all. I'm deleting them as they come, just so everyone knows. It makes me extremely depressed and all, but it's something I decided to do. Seriously though, I'm about to cry.

It's like I'm losing EVERYTHING. All of my ratings, people that favorited them... It's so SAD. *bursts into fits of hysterical sobs*

Well, I'm going to just ask everyone to do this for me: go back and rate/read everything again. I know that's sort of a lot and everything, but it would mean a TON if you guys could do that.

Also, I'm changing the title of 'My Brother'. It's too long and cheesy and I think it turns off some potential readers. So, I'm debating on a new name. It will still have the words 'My Brother' in it, obviously. The title IS the story. Besides, I'd only confuse everyone, including myself.

I will NOT be reposting my teasers. Once I finish a story, I'll put out a poll to start another. Hopefully no one's angry, I'm just really stressed. I've had a hectic two weeks. With the extreme pressure in Show Choir for our concert next week, plus my band final. AND I have so much anger and anxiety built up that I flipped out on Friday. Now I'm practically boiling over with emotions and I don't know what I'm going to do! Crazy I tell you, crazy.

FEEL THE PRESSURE!

Well, I have two of the original 'Cookie' chapters posted in addition to a memo. Just so everyone's clear, I won't be posting anything else until Quizilla works out its new found flaws. It pisses me off that I can't edit my stuff and it looks mediocre. Honestly, having it all in one hideous block is just...odious. Ew.

Sorry everyone. Really, I am. On the plus side... I'm starting a new story! WOOOHOOOO! It won't be posted or anything, but I'm hoping it'll work out. I think it sounds pretty good right now, and my horoscope basically just told me to go for it. SO I AM! Oh yea.

Once again, I send everyone my apologies and ask you to just please be as patient and understanding as you can be. Thank you so very very much. [Now i need to figure out how to create page-breaks...]

I'm EXTREMELY frustrated right now. I really wanted to update everything for everyone the way I wanted it to look in this new crap hole, but I can't. Apparently the site still has issues, and I am PISSED about it. So, unfortunately, everyone is going to have to wait a trillion years until the site has caught itself up. My apologies, this thing is retarded.

So, the concert was AMAZING. Turns out that a kid in my school is Chris Faller's--the Hush Sound's bassist--cousin. How hot is that? And they look alike... Only Mike is smaller and a lot younger...and his nose isn't as big. Which is weird because EVERYONE in that family has an abnormally large nose... ANYWAY, it was great. I had a ton of fun.

Well, I'm going to give you the boring news first. Then I'm going to tell everyone about my epiphany. It's really weird.

I'm trying my hardest to type up chapters for 'My Brother' and 'Willingly'. Don't give up hope, they'll be out eventually. Sorry for the ridiculous wait. I can't update 45 of 'I Saved You'. I have to decide if I'm putting it on hold in order to catch 'My Brother' up. As always, I'm working on 'Cookie', relax.

Now for my epiphany!

A while back I said that Gaspard Ulliel reminded me of how I imagined Milo. Obviously he wasn't a perfect match, but he came pretty close. Well, last night I was standing in the mass of people watching Panic and KABAM! I thought "Brendon Urie is better looking in person than in photos." And then you know what happened? "Holy schist! He looks like MILO!"

Yes my friends, in my mind, Maelogan Madden Boone looks a lot like Brendon Urie. I'd never noticed it before because NEWSFLASH: I'm not an obsessive fan. Don't hate me for thinking so either. Besides, Milo has green eyes you know. Brendon Urie does NOT. You all are--of course--still welcome to imagine Milo and any of my other characters HOWEVER you want. I'm just letting everyone know what I think. And I still think it's creepy...

So really, we can all just blend Gaspard and Brendon together to create ultra Milo, the uber hottie. Ahem, I did NOT just use that term, just for the record. We're clear on that, right?

...

And I was only talking about looks because Milo isn't a psycho crazy man like Brendon. Sure he has his moments, but he's never...weird weird. Correct? How could anyone so intelligent and naturally amazing be 'out there'?

...

Happy reading! And I'd also still like for people to tell me what they think about potentially spoiling 'My Brother' 's obvious ending.



alyssa.

Why hello there. Right now I'm just chilling, doing nothing. It's lovely, really.

Well, I just started Show Choir rehearsals that last till five. My riding lessons got moved to Thursdays and I'm so uptight it's ridiculous. My dress for our Marry Poppins performance is purple, and it's SPANDEX. Great, right? No. I look like Barney the Dinosaur. So not cool.

On the plus side, I'm much closer to going to see a therapist---thankfully. Unfortunately I have to have more teeth taken out, which pisses me off because I told them to take them out in the FIRST PLACE. Losers.

I'm a little stressed with writing because I don't want to spoil things that haven't happened in other stories in another story. Although, it really wouldn't be spoiling because you sort of should already know what's going to happen. It would be just like Shakespeare telling you Romeo and Juliet commit suicide in the end, only...not.

ANYWAY, I'll have to see. I can post another chapter of 'I Saved You' before I have to make my decision. This might mean I'm going to have to put 'I Saved You' on hold until I get to a certain point in 'My Brother'.

Ahem. So, I've got a LOT of work to do...

This summer I'm traveling to Greece first, then Italy where I'll stay with a family for a few days, and then it's off to France. It's going to be bundles of fun. I'm SO excited. YAY! Hmmm...

I finally got out my guitar and started to play. Cause, you know, I've only had it for four years... Anywho, I have the Panic concert tomorrow, I'm freaking PUMPED. It's going to be FUN FUN FUN! YAY!

Over the past weekend I discovered that I officially love my dad for getting a Wii and I'm AMAZING at Twilight Princess. And don't you DARE make rude remarks about me being months behind everyone else in the electronics department. For God's sake, I still play with my Nintendo 64. That's how old school I am, alright? I've also come to realize that I kick ass at Guitar Hero. I'd never played before and then WHAM I was kicking ass. Actually, no, I was annihilating ass.

Well, my dog is determined to spend quality time with me and our new cable television. I love my Loki Poki, and our amazing DVR. Pausing live television is HOT. You should try it sometime.

Thanks for listening to me ramble on about my pointless life. Hopefully you don't mind too much. Although, I'd like to know how everyone feels about the obvious ending to 'My Brother' potentially being ruined. Let me know, it shall help me in my decision.

ow I shall patiently await for my mother to return with my Cheetos. I haven't had those things in years...


alyssa.

*bangs head on table*

I really need to vocalize this to everyone that reads 'I Saved You'.

The chapters are short for a reason. It's not because I'm desperate to get them out to you or anything, that's just how long I make them. I understand that people wish they were longer, and I know from experience that I would want them to be longer too. The thing is that for some reason, that's how much I tend to type up for a chapter.

For instance, when I write 'Cookie', it takes FOREVER to post new chapters because I have a four-page demand. I always type four pages in word for that one. For 'I Saved you' I just type up one. =\ I'm really, really eternally sorry if everyone hates me for them being so SHORT, but I honestly can't change that. There's just something about it for me.

I mean, if I were to go back and rewrite everything I might put more into every chapter, but as of right now I'm content with my one page of typing. I'm trying my hardest to keep everyone happy with me, but I'm just hoping you all understand.

Also: there should be updates for 'My Brother' and "Willingly' asap, Not that I know exactly when asap is, but I'm trying my hardest here. This week was VERY hectic.


alyssa.

Funny story actually... *laughs uncomfortably*

Last night 36 wasn't posted because I uh, forgot to press the button that posted it... AHEM! Anyway, it's up now.

However, I have to go rush to get ready and then leave for a party then my dad's, so no more updates today. I had a party yesterday too, otherwise I'd have updated more. BUT, I have no time now...

SORRY! I feel horrible, I've been making you all wait FOREVER for updates on some stories. Well, I'll make it up to you somehow.


alyssa.

*sighs in sadness*

Once again I am receiving HATE mail, if you call cbox comments mail of course. I do.

Well, I swore to myself that after the whole Erin/India/Rachel incident, anyone who left me negative comments would be banned from the cbox and their message would be DELETED. So, that very rude comment has been deleted. I refuse to let it get to me this time, so I'm just telling you all how it is from now on.

1- There is to be NO negativity in MY cbox. If you want to critique my writing, don't be a coward and send me a MESSAGE.

2- If rule one is broken, you shall be permanently banned from my cbox and your comments will be deleted.

3- Please, if you have something IMPORTANT to ask or tell me, contact me directly via messaging or email. It's a pain to leave cbox comments when I'm not sure you'll even read it.

Just PLEASE follow the rules. How hard is that?


alyssa.

I seriously JUST realized why I've been having so many layout problems. I started using freaking FIREFOX and it's a bitch.

So, now I'm pissed because my layouts look different and not how I want them to look when I use Explorer. I mean, I'd use Explorer and everything, but Firefox is faster... And yet now I'm extremely pissed...

UGH! I'm going to kill something!


alyssa.