extreme.loudyitis's Journal

i fricking HATE the new quizilla.

-cursesnocursing-

eff that.

i feel weird. and not in the normally-insecure-weird way, though i feel that too. i feel extremely weird. like i don't know myself or anyone else for that matter, really.

actually, i know exactly how i feel. i feel like that passage in a tale of two cities where Dickens describes how there are so many secrets even in your own household. how each beating heart has it's own secrets that even the person in the room next to them don't know. i think it was in the beginning of chapter three. sure, when i read it i understood the truth of that statement, but i'd never actually experienced it before.

now i am, and i wish i wasn't.

i sometimes wonder what would happen if i just sat back and watched life pass by. if i made no decisions and just saw what happened. would i be ruining my chances; would all my potential be going to waste? or has it already? maybe i would be enjoying a life that was pressure free. it's too bad we must all grow up so fast. staying in bed for the next three years sounds like a good idea.

falling off
the face
of the earth
and i don't
even know
where i'll land;
have faith in me
but help me too.