gothicbabe1234's Journal

i got like... 6 inches off my hair today. :]



tell me what you think.

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!


they were SOOOOOO cool.


and sweet..

well i didn't get to meet johnny or zacky... :[[[.

o well. still met matt, rev and syn. :]]]]


me and Rev.

me and syn

me and matt.


:]]]

i don't know what to do. last night all i could do was cry. i just can't get over it. my friend, her mom and her sister, which i have known for a very long time were killed in a car crash March 20... of last year. i didn't find out until yesterday, and it just hurts so much. its so hard. they lived in florida, and their dad and brother have to go on with out them. i can't eat, its consuming me. i'm heart-broken and nothing is helping me. why has this happenned? not only that, but one of my friend's mom's brother was found dead in his apartment this week. yesterday was the beginning of my spring break. i don't know what to do...it's just so hard to believe. i hope the guy who hit them headon will stay in jail for the rest of his life. how can i even pretend to be ok? i'm so sad, it passes beyond sad, i don't even know how to describe it.




its tragedy.



its fear.



its pain.



its confusion.



and most of all its love.



             And I know...that when eveything falls in decay I will see them again, but right now... there is no way out of the pain.                                         
                       I'll never forget them.... they may be dead now, but they live on in my heart... in my tears... in my life. I will see them again.... but it still hurts.

i'm so excited....... juneau is playing with scary kids scaring kids, and they said they'll get us to meet scary kids!
last night was so much fun....juneau played and i went in the pit then i got my boob signed by a guy named trey and justin the lead singer from juneau.... it was fucking awesome.

omfg.... last night was seriously crazy. so i went to Wired (a local place to listen to music) and there was a guy there that was shit-faced drunk and high. He was passed out then he threw up. We knew that he had a backpack full with $1000 worth of drugs. Somehow the cops found out and they were after him. My friends Shelbee and Kayla got him out and basically hide him. (he threw up again in the porn section of a dvd store) we got the backpack full of drugs out and i have no clue where it is now. it was terrifying, if they were caught i would've gone down with them. we ended up getting him out of there. he was just sitting out there in the cold so me and my friend both gave him our jackets. finally, his friend's sister drove him out and got him as far away from the police as possible.
In other news, my fish died. And I'm gonna go see A7X on April 17!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so excited.

yeah..... corpse bride poetry contest.... go check it out..... vote for me.... wooty wooters
http://www.corpsebridedvd.com/?pid=23c9f503600c48f2a7f17d224c0141c"> src="http://www.corpsebridedvd.com/banners/ad_01.jpg" width="300" height="250" border="0">

Woot woot!!!
Juneau.....
.....a FUCKING KICK-ASS local band......
.....hung out with them!!!! Woot woot!!! WITH EMMA!!!!! woot woot!!!!
Got cd, shirt, free shirt, free stickers and PIZZA with Emma (on Emma). Met a cool merch guy called Brian.
Woot woot.
And the hottie Kyle.....
....... was hott.
and there was JORDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AND JUSTIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And Chris.......
Asshole!!
Still love ya..... but JORDY AND SCHULTZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE AND KYLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! were totally cool. Woot Woot!!!
Go check Juneau out bitches!!!! They totally rock.
Mucho love.
and this weekend I'm gonna go see FRENCHIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Woot woot!!!
Juneau.....
.....a FUCKING KICK-ASS local band......
.....hung out with them!!!! Woot woot!!! WITH EMMA!!!!! woot woot!!!!
Got cd, shirt, free shirt, free stickers and PIZZA with Emma (on Emma). Met a cool merch guy called Brian.
Woot woot.
And the hottie Kyle.....
....... was hott.
and there was JORDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AND JUSTIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And Chris.......
Asshole!!
Still love ya..... but JORDY AND SCHULTZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE AND KYLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! were totally cool. Woot Woot!!!
Go check Juneau out bitches!!!! They totally rock.
Mucho love.
and this weekend I'm gonna go see FRENCHIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For some reason, I am afraid. I'm so afraid. I don't know why. There's just a fear the rising up inside of me and I can't hold it off. I'm paranoid. The hairs on the back of my neck keping prickling, I feel like I'm being watched. I'm terrified. I keep thinking I'm hearing things, but I'm hearing nothing at all. It's terrible, frightening. And no one's home to tell me it's ok.I'm shivering, and I'm so frightened. And what's frightening me the most is that I'm terrified for no reason. I'm trying to ease it up, tyring to get this paranoia to losen it's grip on me. But I'm afraid.
earlier, my hamster acted as if was dead. There was no response, to any kind of stimulus.

I hate my life.
I hate my mom.
I hate my dad.
I hate my family.
I hate my home.
I hate my sister.


I'd love to die...
please...
don't make me suffer anymore.

Stupid Christmas.
Stupid parents.
Stupid parents.
I got my hopes up and then my heart got broken. I hate it. I'm mad at them. They expect me to deal with it when they would'nt make my either of my sisters deal with it. It's so stupid. This Christmas sucks. I hate being the middle child. they spent so much on both of my other sisters... and they couldn't even get me what I wanted. I'm mad and I'm sad. This Christmas really does suck.

hahahahahahahahahahaha.
hahahahahahahahhahaaha.
IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE!!!
YES!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
well I guess... HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!
YOUR MOTHER'S A HOE!!!
HAHAHAHAHA!!!
FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS!!!
WE CAN'T STOP NOW...
THIS IS BAT COUNTRY!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
hahahahahahahahahaha.
Crazy me.
GO ME!!!
GO CHRISTMAS!!!
hahahaha!
CAN'T YOU SEE THAT YOU LOVE YOUR COCK!!!
CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I LOVE YOUR COCK!!!
CAN'T YOU SEE THAT WE LOVE YOUR COCK!!!
IT'S A VIOLENT PORNAGRAPHY... CHOKING CHICKS AND SODOMY THE KIND OF SHIT YOU GET ON YOUR TV!!!
GO SYSTEM OF A DOWN!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I'M GONNA START A RIOT BITCHES. IT'S FUCKING TIME THAT THE PREPS AND ALL THOSE OTHER FUCKERS GET WHAT THEY FUCKING DESERVE. IT'S GONNA BE A FUCKING MOBSCENE. IT'S GONNA BE MY OWN HOLY WAR. THERE'S HELL TO PAY.
FAKERS, PREPS WATCH YOUR FUCKING BACK.
WATCH YOUR BACK.

OMFG. Both mine and my friend's myspace account has been deleted without us doing anything. STUPID STUPID STUPID.

I want a fucking riot. I want fucking MTV to go to hell. I want a fucking mobscene. I'm pissed off right now. People are telling me that I'm not a true A7X fan... but I've listend to them for over 2 years now. I'm one of the first people at my school to have ever heard of them. And now people are saying that Avenged Sevenfold- and they don't even know how to spell their name right- are their favorite band. And they are fucking not. Those people only know one fucking song and they will never be true fans. It's all fucking MTV's fault... I want a fucking riot. I don't know how but I'm gonna fuck those fakers and those posers just becuase they're following the crowd. FUCK THEM. ARE YOU MOTHA-FUCKING READY, CUZ I'M GONNA START A FUCKING RIOT. MTV CAN GO SUCK CARSON DAILY'S DICK. I'M FUCKING READY TO PUT A FUCKING END TO THIS FUCKED UP SHIT. I'M NOT DEALING WITH IT ANYMORE. ALL OF YOU TRL MTV LOVERS...
FUCKING WATCH YOUR BACK...
I'M GONNA BE RAISING FUCKING HELL...
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE HELL TO PAY.
BE FUCKING AFRAID.

Mabe I'm not ready for this, and you know it. Maybe I'm too scared to tell you what I'm really thinking. It's not fair to stay together because of regrets we might have. I don't want to fall asleep alone, but do I want to wake up with you? I'm only trying to be completely honest. So I guess this is the ending or a beautiful mistake. And if we both agree that we shouldn't be together why does it hurt so much? I feel like I lost my closest friend. I don't want falle asleep alone, but do I want to wake up with you? I hope you're happy and completly lonely. There I am standing all alone on Syndney Harbor Bridge. And you know I would jump into the fucking ocean if it meant I was truly capable of being satified. Will I ever be? Did I just give up the best thing I ever had? ~the Ataris
I love that song... its like... sorta what happened with my ex-boyfriend. I loved him and everything... but I don't think I wanted it...I don't think I wanted to be... i don't know... he was a sweetheart... but there was this other guy... and I think I would have rather been with him than my boyfriend. My boyfriend and I went out for a really long time... like 3 or 4 years. Then he found out that I liked the other guy. And it really just ruined it all. I know I always kept wondering if I gave up the best thing I ever had. And it being almost Christmas and everything... I wish I could find my dream boy... my garage band king. I would love it if a guy could be like Johnny Christ...

I just remembered I aced all of my finals!!! Yay!!! Go me!!! Oh... and I'm really pissed off cuz A7X is NUMBER FUCKING ONE on FUCKING TRL!!! It pisses me off cuz now everybody is gonna get into them cuz of it and its bullshit cuz they never would've even liked 'em unless of TRL and FUCKING MTV. I FUCKING HATE MTV!!! ALL OF YOU MTV BITCHES... YOU CAN KISS MY HALF-ASIAN ASS!!!
GO FUCK YOURSELVES MTV!!!

i love christmas.Its one of the best holidays ever. Love it. "Christmas is coming tonight and I want a car and I want a life."~simple plan

It is Zacky Vengeance's B-day!!! He is 24!!! YAY!!!

 I love this kid.... his name is Jake Richardson and he's in the movie the Hangman's Curse. He is SEXY!!! But, I still love my Avenged Sevenfold Boys, and then  I love these guys called Jack and Ben, they are so sweet and I met them at Disneyland. A little to old for me... 21, but they were really cool and HOTT!!!