lilmisscuriousity's Journal

Well I'm falling for my best friend's cousin, but there's a problem. He's seventeen [going to be eighteen in August] and I'm fourteen. I'm willing to try to get him to like me, but what do y'all think of the age difference? I'm really mature for my age if that helps, lol. I just don't want the age gap to cause problems.

Edit: Just so y'all know, he isn't for sex lol. He's too 'innocent' lmao.

Haha yeah.. I'm basically having a mid-life crisis at the age of 14.. Lol, ever since my birthday [March 8th] I realized that I wasted so many years doing nothing but sit around watching lame-ass tv shows.. Hah, I had a nervous breakdown at McDonalds and I kept telling my mum that I just had six more years to go and I'm twenty o___O. Six years seems like a lot of time but to me it's too little. Ahhhhhh T______T I swear this sucks haha. I'm almost a middle aged teenager!! O__O Well.. that's what I think 'cause 15 is the number between 10 and 20.. lol... I now realize that I missed out a lot during my early childhood, and so far my "teenage" years suck...
Lol, I'm gonna shut up before I ramble on and on.. ^^"

Mhmm.. it was Bob Bryar's [the drummer from My Chemical Romance] birthday so say something nice! >.<

Oh and happy New Year [:

Yup, today is Zacky Vengeance's 26th birthday :D
And yeah.. say happy birthday :D

Yup. They got my braces off yesterday.. It feels soooo awkward.. :[
I really miss them lol..

Haha yeah.. heres the link to a video called 'La Morsa' it's creepy.. well to me cause the way the person dances and the music.. yeah.. if you want watch the video and just put your opinion on the video in a comment.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=hRgfsCKPkr0

Yeah, I got back from the psychologist. It was real boring. All they asked were things like 'do you do drugs?' 'have you ever ran away from home?' and that kind of stuff. Then they made my mom sign some papers. And they gave me this paper and told me to put if i strongly agree, agree, disagree, or strongly disagree. I wasn't really honest with that thing. My mom was right next to me watching me fill it out. At one point it asked if I loved myself and I just put disagree. Then it asked 'Have you ever injured yourself intentionally?' and I put disagree, but I have and I don't want any adult to know.. And yeah.. Then they started talking about my problems. The lady told my mom that it was obvious that I need someone to talk to and that I want her to give me more attention and to talk to me. That made me cry a little because that's all I've ever really wanted. Someone to talk to. Then they started talking about my life at home. The chick found out that I'm verbally abused, hearing that made me cry even more for some odd reason. Then they talked and talked and they said that the reason why I'm so aggressive and angry is because I've been yelled at and I've been told many horrible things while growing up.. and after a while I couldn't take it anymore. I just started crying and my mom held me the whole time. It felt good. It has been months since I cried. I let it all out, well not really. I kept biting my tounge hoping I would stop. It's not like me to cry infront of people. When I calmed down a bit they asked why I broke down like that so I answered them honestly this time. I had no clue. And they asked what my feelings were and I answered the same thing. Then that's when the session ended cause I was obviously not ready to talk about my problems. I don't know how to explain it but when I broke down I felt everything just crash in on me. I haven't realized that I have been holding back a lot of my emotion. I guess I just blew up, but I don't think I can go through talking to someone about my life. I'll always end up crying because I just can't take it anymore.. I can't handle talking to someone about it..

Casey Calvert, guitarist for post punk/ rock band Hawthorne Heights, was found dead early Saturday morning. Calvert was 26-years-old.

According to several accounts Calvert appeared healthy on Friday night while spending time with friends before going to sleep for the night. Those same reports indicated that Calvert passed away at some point while sleeping.

Casey Calverts sound played a big role in Hawthorne Heights and its highly successful second album If Only You Were Lonely which debuted at #3 on the Billboard charts and produced the hit single Saying Sorry.

Hawthorne Heights had a show in Detroit, Michigan on Friday night and was scheduled for a show on Saturday in Washington D.C.

The official site of Hawthorne Heights posted a message on their front page stating:

Today is probably the worst day ever. Its with our deepest regrets that we have to write this. Casey Calvert passed away in his sleep last night. We found out this afternoon before sound-check. We've spent the entire day trying to come to grips with this and figure out as much as possible. At this time we're not sure what exactly happened. Just last night he was joking around with everyone before he went to bed. We can say with absolute certainty that he was not doing anything illegal. Please, out of respect to Casey and his family, don't contribute or succumb to any gossip you may hear. We don't want his memory to be tainted in the least. Casey was our best friend. He was quirky and awesome and there will truly be no others like him! His loss is unexplainable. As soon as we know more we will let you know. - Source: TransWorld News

And to anyone who cares, sign and repost.

1. Courtney (Its pretty damn heartless if you don't repost this.)

2. Petra [It's true, and it's unbelievably sad, I found an article, and while reading it, teared up. Here's the link...http://www.transworldnews.com/NewsStory.aspx?id=28821&cat=16]

3. Azaria--it's really sad :(

4. Jessica- Wow, this is really just wow.. I never expected this to happen.. :'[

Yo peoples! Uhm yeah.. I need help..
I'm gonna dye my hair pink. I just don't know how much of it.
This is the color it's gonna get dyed.


And here's a pic of me so yeah.






So yup, I don't know how much of my hair I'm going to dye..
Message me or comment telling me what you think would look cool.
Please?

Haha, yup... In about 9 days I'm going to go see yet another psychologist. It's gonna be my 5th time, hehe. My mom thinks I have anger problems and some other stuff. This is gonna be fun... Lol. She wants them to convince me to try to stop listening to rock music and to stop obsessing over skulls and stuff. Psshh.. like that's gonna happen. ¬___¬ Annd.. yeah. I wonder what this one will do.. The last shrink I saw just spent the whole time playing Battle Ship, she was radd. The last one just talked to me about my feelings, she was lame, and then everything got quiet and we just sat there. Then the one before her just showed me pictures of papers with random scribbles. That was pretty fun I guess.. And yeah.. Hopefully this time the person is like the others cause I don't really feel like explaining my problems and my life to some stranger. And they'll probably end up prescribing me some happy pills... oh joy! =P

Yup.. like the title says. My brother bailed me out of jail [at a festival]. You see.. These little kids volunteered to capture people with hulahoops and send them to jail, aka. this fenced area thingy. And yeah.. it took forever for him to buy two tickets and get me out of there.. I kept calling my mom to get me, but she wouldn't answer. After 30 minutes of being locked up in a cage with lots of small elementary kids my brother finally came and got me out.. So yup.. wooo.. yay for jail.. ;P
I literarly went insane in there.. haha..

Fuck yes! This year is the first year that there has been a different homecomming queen. It is usually the popular, girly, and in some cases, stuck-up girls. This time is was a tomboy-ish girl. Hehe, her name's Felisha and she's the homecomming queen.. The other chicks were pissed off and Samantha started crying. Serves her right. She is rude, treats everyone below her like dirt, and she's a whore. Annyways.. People don't really approve of Ish [Felisha] being homecomming queen cause she's a freak. Seriously. I find that word offensive. Throughout the day I've been hearing people calling us freaks and telling us that all of <s>the freaks</s> us cheated. We didn't, they just can't deal with the fact that their little barbies and cheerleaders/sparklers didn't win. It's annoying, but who cares? At least most of us got what we wanted, for Ish to win. So yup.. YAY!! I'm sooo happy it was our goal to get her to win and she did. We finally beat them! So yup.. :D

Hehe.. so yup today's Frank Iero's [from My Chemical Romance] birthday! :D
So yup... if you want to tell him happy birthday or something just leave a comment.. even though I'm 100% sure he won't read it.. lol. So yeah.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRANK!!!!! <333333




Oh yeah.. and to everyone else... Have a happy Halloween :D
Be safe and scare the shit out of as many people you can!

holy crap.. i just had my first two kisses with this guy i love.. hehe.. it was our first time meeting each other [in person] and wow.. hes an amazing person.. hehe.. at first he kept telling me to talk but i was sooo shy then after a while we started talking, then we went into the food court cause he wanted to sit and talk with my mom [she came along.. but i made her stay at the food court..] and yeah.. hehe she wasnt there so we sat at the very back and in the corner. then we just sat there and i kept giggling and saying hi to him. then he started tickling me and i kept making these squeaky noises [i do them all the time.] and he kept teling me that it was cute, so he kept tickling me just to hear my squeaking. then we just sat there and stared at each other.. then he started holding my hands and just telling me that he loves me [we've been talking for a long time, and we developed feelings for each other.] and then i got up suddenly cause he started tickling my again, and i was real thirsty so i bought myself an energy drink and while i was putting the money into the vending machine max [thats his name] was right behind me and he put his arms around my waist and his head on my shoulder. i started to put the money in but i got confused with the quarters and dimes [hey. theyre shiney... and they look alike. -_-] and yup.. then i bought it and he started talking about how last time his got stuck. then i got teh drink and just stood there wtih his arms around me and me just looking up at him while trying to drink my drink [lol]. and then we were just there holding each other and he got tired so we just sat down.. then when we were there we were just facing each other and i knew what was going to happen. and we just leaned in but then me being jessica ruined the moment by giggling and then saying soemthing about how i have a hard time staring into peoples eyes, and he said i must have a real hard time concentrating and i said yeah and laughed. then we just stared at each other and then i kept giggling until we kinda came closer and just kissed.. i was like o_____o and it was soooooo  idk.. hehe, he kinda got some of his saliva on my lip but hey.. it was sweet ;D. hehe... and yeah then we did it again and we were just doing that, but then once again i ruined it by pulling away and saying 'gosh i dont know how to do this!' then he started talking about how his first kiss went and that he felt he was being raped because he kissed an 18 year old girl when he was 12... lol. then my mom called and ruined our moment, while i talked to her on the phone he kept hodling me close and trying to tickle me but then my mom said we had to leave, so before we left i gave him one last hug and we left.... so that was how my day was with max ^_^ hehe...

and im sooo happy hehe.. there were this sh.it load of girls who kept staring at him and there were a few guys.. then i was smiling to myself cause i was the one wtih him, and i was sure that he loves me. it was so awsome... haha and yup, he was kinda expecting me to prove that i love him by kissing him but i was too shy until we just did it.. hehe.. and when he breathed on my neck i was soo.... hehe.. yeah ill shut up now ^^' so yup.. thats how my day with the boy i love went.. i hope i become his gf soon.. i think i will :D

well yup, i cut my hair.. yet again.. but this time i cut it myself ^_^ it was pretty easy.. well no duh cause you just get the scissors and cut.. hehe.. but yeah i tried my best and it all came out uneven and stuff, but thats how i meant to cut it.. so yup ^^ here are some pics

BEFORE
well these are the only pics that kinda show how my hair use to be before i cut it.

hehe.. i look like a racoon in this one.. XD





AFTER
bleh.. i look bad in this pic >.< i guess thats what i get for taking pictures at 9am >.>


and heres how it looks from the sides. i brightened the pics so ya'll can see the layers better.

  

so yup.. so what do ya'll think of it? its the second time that i give myself a haircut.

yeah.. hello everyone! ive decided to delete all of my stories. why? because i got sick of writing them. i might write more naruto stories in the future, but for now im just gonna stick to one shots or something. so yeah, im deleting all of my stories. im so sorry to the people who actually liked them.. so yeah..

hello everyone! :] well here is this free verse poem i wrote. i didnt know how to make it rhyme, but whatever. lol. well yeah here it is. hope ya like it. its all about this one boy, hehe.. he picked the wrong girl to mess with..

♥♥♥

here lies the girl who could brighten up your mood by saying something completely random when things were horribly wrong.
here lies the girl who tried her best to hide the pain inside of her so that you wouldnt worry about her.
here lies the girl who did anything just to see your smile.
she really did care about you.
here lies the girl who was your shoulder to cry on when everybody turned their backs on you.
here lies the girl who got her heart broken so many times and was still able to fall in love again because of all those sweet things you said.
here lies the girl who gave up her dreams when she found out you got a girlfriend
here lies the girl who gave up all hope of life getting better because you forgot all about her.
here lies the girl who died of heartbreak.
can you guess who's fault it was?
it was yours.
can you imagine how hurt she felt after all the 'i love you's you said to her?
can you imagine how much it killed her inside to hear you tell 'her' how much you loved her.
especially when you called her 'el amor de mi vida' [the love of my life]
can you imagine how many scars she has because of you?
i dont think so.
you dont give a damn.
so dont come at me with your shit.
now i am emotionaly dead.
special thanks to you.
my heart was burried the night you got together with her.
i truley hope your happy now :]
because..
i will make your life hell when you come crawling back to me.
i will make you believe all the words that come out of my mouth.
i will find a way to win your heart and trust
then.. i will shatter them both into a billion pieces and make you pick them up afterwards.
in the meantime..
enjoy your life
it isnt going to last long hun :]
once your gone i will savor every moment of it.
like they have said before.
revenge is sweet. x♥x

-+-+-+-

so what do you think?

hello peoples ^^
um...well i made a new account (im not going to delete this one though) and well yeah..haha ^^' i dont know why i made it, i guess it was just for the hell of it :) well yeah. if you want to add me me the link is http://www.quizilla.com/users/screamintillmyheartstops so yep ^^

omg! im such a baka, i barely realized its kibas b-day ^^...how old is he now? O.o anyways....HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIBBLES!!! :DDD ^_^ :D WHOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *does happy dance ^^* yay!!!!!!! lol...O.o so yep...HAPPY BIRTHDAY sweetie ^^ O.o lol....O.o >_O ._. ^+^....ok...ill stop now.. haha im a little too hyper....CRABS!!!...O.o



LMAO!!!!!.....oh crap...you like to eat CRABS?!?!?!?!? wow O_O...... *ya..there are antoher tyeps of crabs and well....wow...O_O*

omg...one of my friends (nto saying who but shes on this webstie) probably killed herself or failed to. i dont want her to die... i always considered her a best friend and most likely shes gone now and i will never talk to her ever again...i would give anything to talk to her right now. i really would... i hope shes happy and all but idk... i just want her to live and keep being strong like she use to. she was like a sister... and now she was most likely gone... she was my perverted buddy... we joked around a lot and stuff. just remembering all those times makes me cry even harder... and also our plans of probably meeting each other in person for the first time. i cant take this anymroe... i really need someone at the moment but nobody is there. this is the very first time that i lose someone (that is if she did go into the afterlife...) i just cant take it. the emotional pain is unbearable... now im listneing to her 'theme song' and it makes me just feel even worse. the song is headstrong.... i just need to let this all out but i dont know how... i need to get it all out.... wow my crying is so loud i hope my parents dont hear it.... i just tryed cutting myself but i still dont feel any better. the pain is still there (nto the one from the cut)...well i should just shut up now...so bye....

to ______
i loved you like a sister... please take care.... i will always remember you! i hope to see you in the after life... just remember...me, angel, and those people who cared about you. i will always keep you in my heart <3



omg! shes alright! :D im sooo freakin happy :D but im still worried :|